hm11 Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 So here's my dilemma: My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I immediately cut off him off and have not spoken to him in any way. He has sent me three emails these past 2 weeks pressuring me to stay friends with him and to continue dancing with him (I was in a dance company that he directs). I do not want to do this-at least not until I heal completely, nor do I want to talk to him so I didn't respond to any of them. Also, he continues to call me by the pet name he used when we were together. Why? And why can t he understand that I need space in order to heal?
JewelD Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Just block him. Trying to interpret his actions at this point isn't going to do you any good. 2
Mrin Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I posted this a few months ago to someone else. I think it is appropriate here too: The other day I watched a cat catch a mole in the field next to my house. He would pounce on it. Bite it. And then let it go only to repeat the same sick affair over and over until the mole died. I am sure that if the mole could have talked it would have asked the cat why it hated him so much and why the cat kept doing this over and over. And I am sure if the cat could talk he would say, "I don't hate you. I do it because it amuses me." 6
aloneinaz Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 So here's my dilemma: My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I immediately cut off him off and have not spoken to him in any way. Bravo! This is exactly how folks should do it! He has sent me three emails these past 2 weeks pressuring me to stay friends with him and to continue dancing with him (I was in a dance company that he directs). I do not want to do this-at least not until I heal completely, nor do I want to talk to him so I didn't respond to any of them. Good job letting him hear absolute silence from you. Certainly you owe him NOTHING now. He chose to end the relationship which was his right. Now, you have the right to chose to not engage with him again. The guy has some balls. He doesn't want you in his life as his significant other but EXPECTS you to fill his needs in other areas still. Really? What a douche. Also, he continues to call me by the pet name he used when we were together. Why? And why can t he understand that I need space in order to heal? Take comfort in the fact that you ignoring him is messing w/his head. He wants you to respond to him so he's using pet names to get a reaction. He clearly is astounded that you're not blowing his phone up, telling him how awesome he is while begging for another chance. F-him. I'd keep him on total ignore permanently. OP, be VERY proud of yourself. It's so refreshing to see someone posting that clearly has strong pride and self esteem! Also, take the next step and change your phone number (which will really annoy him) and set his emails to go to your trash bin. You don't need to see this bs, I need ego stroking attention from you drivel. Continue what you're doing. Block any means he has to try and reach you. Out of sight, out of mind is the number one thing that helps folks heal the quickest. 2
Kelley Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 He is selfish and just using you as an emotional cutch to ease his guilt of breaking up with you. Good for you for not responding, I went NC and there is some peace in the silence. I would block his e-mails too though, and his number. I forgot to do the e-mail and it upset me reading one he sent me, better not seeing them at all and moving on.
LastAcorn99 Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Aww…this must be really frustrating for you. Take care and stay strong, okay?
Author hm11 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Hi, On Oct. 16 I posted the following: "So here's my dilemma: My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I immediately cut off him off and have not spoken to him in any way. He has sent me three emails these past 2 weeks pressuring me to stay friends with him and to continue dancing with him (I was in a dance company that he directs). I do not want to do this-at least not until I heal completely, nor do I want to talk to him so I didn't respond to any of them. Also, he continues to call me by the pet name he used when we were together. Why? And why can t he understand that I need space in order to heal?" A few of you responded with good advice that I greatly appreciated. I took said advice - such as changing my phone number after he sent me the classic 'I miss you' text, and filtered his email address to automatically delete anything he might send me. Except that this didn't work. Somehow, I received an email he sent me on Christmas day. He didn't anything except 'Merry Christmas' and attached a short video of me performing one of his choreographies. It annoyed me beyond belief. I still haven't spoken to him since the day we broke up (nearly 3 months now), and I want it to stay that way. Apparently ignoring him isn't getting the message across. I really don't want to change my email address because so many professional contacts have it, but at the same time I really hate seeing messages from him. Should I tell him to stop, even though I hate to respond to him? Or should I just change my email even though it will be incredibly inconvenient? I really resent him for this... He was emotionally abusive during our relationship, and he ended it in a very cowardly way. I am healing very well, but seeing emails from him really bothers me - what's the best way to handle this? Thank you in advance
marky00 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 odd behaviour. It could be your NC and acting cold approach has surprised him. Guys definitely take an ego hit when the girl they break up with doesn't even try to change his mind. I know its annoying you but on the other hand if you do say anything, u risk him not responding at all and you might feel like you got dumped again. Since this has been going for 3 months now, he probably would respond or at least acknowledge your wishes but there is a chance he would just totally disappear. I realise that in a way you want him gone but if it's not on your terms, it might hurt you again. Honestly, I think your best approach is to keep ignoring if you truly want nothing more do with him and to heal. Ignoring him sends a strong message and swings the power back your way. Anything else you do risks hurting you and giving him the power back. 3
Author hm11 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Thank you, Marky00, you make a very good point. I'm going to do as you suggest and continue ignoring him. Hopefully he'll give up soon
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