Sira Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 We met in 2007 in the United States at a concert. I live in Canada. For me as soon as I saw him I knew I loved him. We hit it off and within a few weeks I was going to the states to visit him. We started dating and I was so happy. Because of the distance and him not being able to cross the border to come up and see me due to felonies in the states (he tried once), I wasn’t able to go every weekend. He started to go down a bad path and got into drugs. I was always there for him even though I didn’t know the full extent of what he was doing. I told him I loved him and he freaked out, we drifted apart and I was hurt. Throughout the years I thought about him, and tried dating other people but it was never the same feeling I had with him. I looked him up on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship and just had a baby. I left it alone but I’d check his Facebook every so often. This year I looked at it and he was no longer in a relationship. It had been 8 years since we had spoken. I decided to send a message and he responded. I was so excited and he seemed to be too. We exchanged numbers and soon were talking and texting every day. He would send pictures and we would have facetime and we were catching up, this was in March. He told me that in December he and his baby’s mom broke up because she cheated on him. She had a longtime friend that she moved into the house, because he needed a place to stay, but while he was at work she was cheating on him with this guy. It went on for months and he felt like he was going nuts thinking this stuff was going on, but them saying he was wrong. He finally saw that she was cheating and she kicked him out of the house and has this new guy living with her, they are still together. He has 4 kids with different moms. He told me he thinks there’s something wrong with him because it never works out. He wants a family and with this last women he wanted it to work, this all happened last December. In June (we had been in touch since March) I went to visit him. He told me he didn’t want a relationship, the feeling of being emotionally available on that level wasn’t a good feeling, which I understood and never pushed him for. He would bring up different situations about me moving there and seeing each other every day, I would tell him not to tease me about that, and reminded him he didn't want a relationship. He seemed to change what he said. So I went to visit, and we hit it off. To me it was right back to where it was when we first started seeing each other. I have gone to see him every month since June. He told me he didn’t want a relationship. As we continued to see each other things seemed to change. He was getting close. I asked him “but you don’t want a relationship”, his answer seemed to change, he was affectionate. I met his daughter. I met his daughter’s mom. He introduced me to his coworkers, his friends and included me in his life. As time went on he would introduce me as his girlfriend to his friends. He told me he wanted to see me every day, and we talked about me moving to the states if possible. He would call in the middle of the night to say he loved me or was thinking of me. Now ever since this stuff happened with his ex he parties with his friends, so he would call me after having drinks. He would say he’s thinking of me and that he’s happy and hasn’t been this happy in a long time. After a few months, the calls and texts slowed down. I was still visiting, but not sure where I stood with him. I would text and his responses weren’t the same as before. I started to think he wasn’t interested anymore. He would sometimes bring up the fact that he is not able to like or love someone on an emotional level. I felt like he was backing off. I just got back 2 days ago and while I was there I asked him if he liked me or had feelings for me. He looked sad but said no he doesn’t have feelings for me and he can’t like anyone because he doesn’t like himself. His friends and co workers, I believe we're asking him about me going down there, to see him put pressure on him and he freaked. In the past he said he liked me, now he says he has no feelings for me? He would say “just keep being my friend”. I am heartbroken over it. He drinks a lot and hangs out with his friends when he’s not working. At the time of him telling me he doesn’t have feelings for me (which killed me) he was really drunk. He also brought up giving him a year, but that seemed to change too. Because I was visiting we slept in the same bed (nothing physical happened) but he cuddled me. I’m left here with my head spinning, heartbroken. I have no idea what to think, but I don’t believe him. I could be a fool and I’m looking for some kind of hope. I know love is blind but the feeling I have in my gut is that I’m not wrong about how I feel. Thank you.
MsJayne Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 The story you just told is of a selfish, immature, messed up dude. Cut this guy out of your life as fast as you can, he's telling you the truth when he says he doesn't want emotional involvement. He's just stringing you along and using you as a free social support network. The moment the next woman who he's going to get pregnant appears on the horizon you will be flicked off so fast your head will spin. Run, just run. You deserve better. 3
Author Sira Posted October 19, 2016 Author Posted October 19, 2016 my only question is: Are you real? Yes..... Why are you asking that? Blind maybe, real yes. I'm asking for advice or opinions.
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