Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Here's the synopsis. My woman of three years broke up with me in May. I've been on a few dates with other women since then (none of them hold a candle to her though). Two nights ago, I saw her all over some guy at a club. It was the worst thing i've ever seen. Anyway, last week, she sent my sisters, my friends each an email saying how she's doing, that she misses and loves everyone, how she's so happy and independent now, etc. She also sent me one, but i'm not going to open it till my therapy appointment later this week. If it's anything like what she wrote them, she's gonna go on and on about how happy she is and how she'll always think of me (whatever that means) and that I find someone who's right for me. I'm wondering though, why would she send so many of my friends and my sisters emails saying how well she's doing and that she misses and loves everyone? They all know how devastating her leaving me was. Does she think they are going to be really happy for her? It was the most bizarre, out of the blue thing. And, a month before she broke up with me, I went to break up with her. I went to her house and got my stuff. She's said, what are you doing, i said i was done with her. She started crying and yelling at me, telling me to get out. I said I am just as soon as I get my ****. Then she called her mom saying, "He's breaking up with me, he's breaking up with me!" Anyway, the main reason for our breakup is that she lost that lovin feeling. I was hoping she'd seem me out with some chick before I saw her out with some dude, but that didn't happen. But she'll see me out with someone soon enough. I'm wondering if that'll do anything for her. I rarely made her jealous in our relation ship, I made myself too available all the time and too easy. She's the type that needs to be made a little jealous from time to time and need a challenge. I'm fine with that, I think i'm worth working for. But I hope its not too late for us. I'm going to war for a few months pretty soon. She knows but doesn't seem to care. I wonder if that'll change when I'm actually gone. I think most girls would be proud to say their bf is risking is life out in some godforsaken desert. I think I was a damn good bf to her though. She even said when she broke up that she doesn't think she'll find someone who treats her as well. I dunno just want her back. I've got a lot of friends and i'm thankful for that, but being the third, fifth, or like last night the seventh wheel, gets kind of depressing. She used to be there with me, now she's with someone else doing god knows what. So, assuming there is hope for us, what's the best way to get her back? NC? Jealousy? Help.
ggallin13 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by Drivetildriven Here's the synopsis. My woman of three years broke up with me in May. I've been on a few dates with other women since then (none of them hold a candle to her though). Two nights ago, I saw her all over some guy at a club. It was the worst thing i've ever seen. Anyway, last week, she sent my sisters, my friends each an email saying how she's doing, that she misses and loves everyone, how she's so happy and independent now, etc. She also sent me one, but i'm not going to open it till my therapy appointment later this week. If it's anything like what she wrote them, she's gonna go on and on about how happy she is and how she'll always think of me (whatever that means) and that I find someone who's right for me. Why do women write things like that? It has never made me feel better. It's like they write things like that becausee they know they can write something "nice" and have it be like burying a knife in your back. I'm wondering though, why would she send so many of my friends and my sisters emails saying how well she's doing and that she misses and loves everyone? They all know how devastating her leaving me was. Does she think they are going to be really happy for her? Oddly, yes. I used to think it was because me ex's were really obtuse, but it seems like it is a universal thing--or close to it. It was the most bizarre, out of the blue thing. And, a month before she broke up with me, I went to break up with her. I went to her house and got my stuff. She's said, what are you doing, i said i was done with her. She started crying and yelling at me, telling me to get out. I said I am just as soon as I get my ****. Then she called her mom saying, "He's breaking up with me, he's breaking up with me!" You should've stuck with that attitude, man. Nothing good can come from ignoring your "little man" inside you. Anyway, the main reason for our breakup is that she lost that lovin feeling. I was hoping she'd seem me out with some chick before I saw her out with some dude, but that didn't happen. But she'll see me out with someone soon enough. Good for you! that's the spirit! I'm wondering if that'll do anything for her. I rarely made her jealous in our relation ship, I made myself too available all the time and too easy. Always a mistake. She's the type that needs to be made a little jealous from time to time and need a challenge. I'm fine with that, I think i'm worth working for. But I hope its not too late for us. I'm going to war for a few months pretty soon. Thank you for your service. Keep your head down, kick ass, and get home safe! She knows but doesn't seem to care. I wonder if that'll change when I'm actually gone. I think most girls would be proud to say their bf is risking is life out in some godforsaken desert. I think I was a damn good bf to her though. She even said when she broke up that she doesn't think she'll find someone who treats her as well. Again, why do women say things like that? If you won't find someone as good as me, why break up with me? I dunno just want her back. I've got a lot of friends and i'm thankful for that, but being the third, fifth, or like last night the seventh wheel, gets kind of depressing. She used to be there with me, now she's with someone else doing god knows what. So, assuming there is hope for us, what's the best way to get her back? NC? Jealousy? Help. NC, for sure. You have way too much going on to worry about her anyway. When/if she wants you back she'll find a way to get in contact with you. And it'll be an hour after you've forgotten about her.
Author Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 Thanks for the advice. I did ask her if I'm I so good, why is she throwing sooo much away. She said this is something she has to do. She said, when she was breaking up with me, that some girl out there doesn't know how lucky she is. I said UHG! I don't want to hear that from you! Then I said no, you're right, and she's sitting right next to me! She is on cloud 9 right now, and seems like the happiest person in the world. The world is her oyster. Meanwhile I'm at rock bottom. I think though, that there is no place for her to go but down, and me to go up.
ggallin13 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by Drivetildriven Thanks for the advice. I did ask her if I'm I so good, why is she throwing sooo much away. She said this is something she has to do. She said, when she was breaking up with me, that some girl out there doesn't know how lucky she is. I said UHG! I don't want to hear that from you! Then I said no, you're right, and she's sitting right next to me! She is on cloud 9 right now, and seems like the happiest person in the world. The world is her oyster. Meanwhile I'm at rock bottom. I think though, that there is no place for her to go but down, and me to go up. You are exactly right. You shouldn't have said the "sitting right next to me" thing, but what can you do? Nobody can do the perfect thing every time in situations like that. I know I can't. While you are gone, she'll date a few guys, probably develop strong feelings for one of them, and he'll crush her, and then she'll reliaze how good she had it with you and that she has wanted you the whole time, and you'll be totally over her when she calls. That actually happened to me once. Or, you'll meet someone else and never think of her again. Meanwhile, take out your feelings on the insurgents over there! I know that would make me feel better.
Author Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 Yeah, I'm 100% certain she'll develop strong feelings for someone. Maybe even that POS I saw her all over Friday night. And as horrible of a thought as it is, she's probably one of the type of girls that so many guys on this site post about. By that I mean she's going to have to see how good I was through other guys. When they don't want to wake up to give her a back massage at three in the morning because she's sick and can't go to sleep, or take her to work when it's snowing, or take the blame for her braking a vase at a party because she felt so bad, or surprise her with anything from a flower to a weekend vacation when she least expected it. The list goes on and on and on and on. I kept that girl on her toes. When the novelty of those guys wears off and they pale in comparison, maybe then she'll see how good she really had it. Or alternatively, maybe she'll fall for someone and never give me a second thought, in which case, i wish I never met her. She's just 24 going on 19.
Author Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 Oh, one more thing. My shallow goal for July is to date another hot chick. She's gotta be hot. No sex, just taking out and having some fun with. If the ex sees and it makes her jealous, then that's all the better. Gotta be proactive.
westernxer Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by ggallin13 Why do women write things like that? It has never made me feel better. It's like they write things like that becausee they know they can write something "nice" and have it be like burying a knife in your back. Tell me about it... Makes me glad I broke up with them in the first place.
Author Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 So what are my chances of her getting her head out of the clouds and her coming back? 50/50 or far less?
westernxer Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Just play it cool and act like you don't care. Whatever happens from there is up to her.
Author Drivetildriven Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 I'm not going to respond to the email she sent. She emailed several of my friends and only one of them responded. I think you're right though and that's what I'm doing.
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