sunshine2 Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I met a guy on OLD for a drink on our first date and it went well so we extended it to dinner. He asked me on that date if we could see each other again, and I said yes so we've had a total of 3 dates in a week and half. He is a widower and lost his wife a after a couple years watching her lose her battle with cancer. The second time I met with him he told me that his sister asked him to move to Florida to get away from the memories and start fresh. I felt a bit disappointed but I appreciated his honesty and told him he has to do whats right for him. He is leaving next week to stay with his sister for a month in Florida to check it out and take time away. He is not 100% sure he is going to move, but is considering it. As you can imagine, Im not happy about it but understand that we don't even know each other well enough for anything serious, but this puts me in a weird position. Part of me wants to continue to see him and just have fun and not take it to seriously and the other part wants to move on because I don't want to get attached to him and can see it already going in that direction. If I let go now it will be easier. I definitely will not have sex with him because that will make it harder if he choses to move. The other issue is I like to communicate more then he does in between dates. I notice that I am the one that initiates texts more then he does. He is older then me and that might have something to do with it. I decided today not initiate and see what happens but man its hard to sit back and wait. I hear a lot that we put to much energy into whether someone texts you or not. I always think they are losing interest if I don't hear from them. So two questions here. Should I just walk away since he MIGHT move to Florida and is texting all that important?
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then just part ways.
hippychick3 Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I wouldn't necessarily stop seeing him yet since you don't know for sure he is moving. But I would be sure and date others so you don't get too attached...and of course don't have sex with him unless he decides not to move and you're in an exclusive relationship with him.
salparadise Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I wouldn't attach much meaning to the texting. That just your thing. As for limiting your involvement until he makes a decision on the move –– yes. No reason to intentionally put yourself through that. He's a lame duck until/unless he makes the decision to stay.
strawberryshortstack Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I met a guy on OLD for a drink on our first date and it went well so we extended it to dinner. He asked me on that date if we could see each other again, and I said yes so we've had a total of 3 dates in a week and half. He is a widower and lost his wife a after a couple years watching her lose her battle with cancer. The second time I met with him he told me that his sister asked him to move to Florida to get away from the memories and start fresh. I felt a bit disappointed but I appreciated his honesty and told him he has to do whats right for him. He is leaving next week to stay with his sister for a month in Florida to check it out and take time away. He is not 100% sure he is going to move, but is considering it. As you can imagine, Im not happy about it but understand that we don't even know each other well enough for anything serious, but this puts me in a weird position. Part of me wants to continue to see him and just have fun and not take it to seriously and the other part wants to move on because I don't want to get attached to him and can see it already going in that direction. If I let go now it will be easier. I definitely will not have sex with him because that will make it harder if he choses to move. The other issue is I like to communicate more then he does in between dates. I notice that I am the one that initiates texts more then he does. He is older then me and that might have something to do with it. I decided today not initiate and see what happens but man its hard to sit back and wait. I hear a lot that we put to much energy into whether someone texts you or not. I always think they are losing interest if I don't hear from them. So two questions here. Should I just walk away since he MIGHT move to Florida and is texting all that important? Tough call about the moving thing. I'm not sure what I would do. About the texting though - I think we sometimes put too much stress on how important it is. I do enjoy texting throughout the day/week in between dates, but I also get that sometimes people get busy (and as someone who also gets busy, despite what some say, it's NOT always possible to pick up the phone and send a quick text), so I've learned to not interpret less frequent texting with reduced interest. As long as I'm getting signs of interest from his other actions, I'm good with not texting a lot.
Author sunshine2 Posted October 18, 2016 Author Posted October 18, 2016 (edited) Thank you for the replies. I guess I worry to.much about contact. I like to hear from someone I date at least once a day. If not I feel they aren't interested. Im feeling sad since I haven't heard from him today but he has to reach out this time. When I'm with him we talk about how great it is to be with each other and he is very affectionate. On our last date he asked me how are we doing together? I said great! He liked that. We talked about when he gets back and spending the holidays together. His actions are all positive when we do talk text or see each other. The only bummer is the decision he needs to make about moving. Edited October 18, 2016 by sunshine2
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