betnow Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 ive gone 12 days, at least 6 of those days ex has called sometimes up to 20 times and i do not pick up or respond to text messages. at first i was doing to get over her, but ever since the last time she left 15 messages i've been getting weaker. my reason for nc was first to get over her but at the same time show i would not always be there. im tempted to call or contact her in some way, but i have no idea how she would ask now. the last time she attempted to contact me was thursday night. what should i do, if she calls again i will speak to her, should i keep up nc, or throw away 12 days?
markraine Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Well, if you want to get out of the relationship completely and get over her, just don't answer, period. She'll get the hint and you'll get over her. If you think its worth salvaging, then responding with a voice message perhaps after a day or two wouldn't be a bad way to go. Heh, I wish I had your problem, my ex hasn't called in over 3 weeks, so I've pretty much given up any possibility of her, I'm quite finished.
Author betnow Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 the problem is i know if i call thats alot of progress down the drain and i think shell see it as she has the upper hand now. he last time she basically cried for me to talk to her and pick her up to see her, but i never responded.i felt at the time she deserves the life she chose without me, but now im second guessing that. i do love her. i just really want her to know i wont be there when she decides to play her games.
sanne Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 betnow I feel for you man. I've been in your shoes, as have many others on this forum like BrotherAaron. Let's just say BA took the right advice and never once looked back, I was a fool and let my ex back into my life. she did the same as your ex, crying and sending all sorts of txt messages and calling a million times. on the third day she actually came over to my apt. in tears, and just the sight of her in tears weakened me so much. i took her back slowly, things were great for a few weeks and then i found a questionable txt message on her phone. it was downhill ever since that point, and now we no longer speak to each other. if i had the wisdom to do it all over again i would have stuck to my guns and saved myself the heartache. you have a very difficult decision to make, and I don't want to tell you what to do. i can only say that if you forget her and move on you will save yourself any potential heartache. the loneliness you feel now will be nothing compared to the rejection you may feel later on if she decides to walk out on you. i say your already making progress with NC, stick with it, and whatever you do DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SEE HER IN PERSON.
Author betnow Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 thanks, i appreciate what you said. i am sure i am going to stick to nc, but i know she will call again, and eventually come over. i will have to face her again someday and i know that. when i do i plan on playing it cool, even tho i know inside i'll be scared. but thanks for the advice.
westernxer Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Just know that she gives you the upper hand each and every time she calls. Everytime you refuse to answer, your hand improves. Let her send you a letter, or something that requires a little work on her end. She's psycho, the fact that she's calling you 20 times a day. How disrespectful does she have to get? Don't throw away your progress...
Candy Cane Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by sanne betnow I feel for you man. I've been in your shoes, as have many others on this forum like BrotherAaron. Let's just say BA took the right advice and never once looked back, I was a fool and let my ex back into my life. she did the same as your ex, crying and sending all sorts of txt messages and calling a million times. on the third day she actually came over to my apt. in tears, and just the sight of her in tears weakened me so much. i took her back slowly, things were great for a few weeks and then i found a questionable txt message on her phone. it was downhill ever since that point, and now we no longer speak to each other. if i had the wisdom to do it all over again i would have stuck to my guns and saved myself the heartache. you have a very difficult decision to make, and I don't want to tell you what to do. i can only say that if you forget her and move on you will save yourself any potential heartache. the loneliness you feel now will be nothing compared to the rejection you may feel later on if she decides to walk out on you. i say your already making progress with NC, stick with it, and whatever you do DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SEE HER IN PERSON. Or better yet...don't date at all. That way you never get heartbroken. WHAT??? People aren't perfect...especially in relationships. You have to work on them. You have to learn to forgive. You have to accept the fact that sometimes you give someone a shot...and they break your heart. If you play it safe all the time, nothing good will ever happen to you.
ggallin13 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Just know that she gives you the upper hand each and every time she calls. Everytime you refuse to answer, your hand improves. Let her send you a letter, or something that requires a little work on her end. She's psycho, the fact that she's calling you 20 times a day. How disrespectful does she have to get? Don't throw away your progress... Dude, you are a genius. I agree totally.
Author betnow Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 do any females in here have any ideas on what could possibly shake her up, something i could say or write, or leave her thinking. or does everyone think nc is still the best route.
Author betnow Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 I TOOK THE JUMP. i called. she was surprised you can hear it in her voice. i told her to call me when she gets out of work, and she said ok. bad move maybe, i know. but time will tell. 12 days down the drain.....possibly.
sanne Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 DOH! well can't say we didn't warn you. hope it all goes well man. sidenote, i think you really have to make all of these mistakes to truly learn from them. so if this turns out badly, you'll know next time what not to do.
westernxer Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by sanne ...i think you really have to make all of these mistakes to truly learn from them. so if this turns out badly, you'll know next time what not to do. True, true.
markraine Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 Most people need to burn their hands to figure out not to touch the stove when its hot. A parent lecturing them usually just ain't cutting it, except for a very very exceptional and unadventurous minority. I think we all have to take our bumps and bruises, its what makes us tough, strengthens us, otherwise we'd be a bunch of toothpick-spined wussies Once you go through the pain, you learn to not do what caused it in the future, but you also become stronger and more resilient, its a key part of life, learning to roll with the punches, even if you straightup walk into a Mike Tyson left hook every now and then Next time you'll know not to walk in that direction, keep your guard up, or at least go in swinging and get some yourself =P
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