Hyperfocal Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I have been OK'ish with online dating, getting dates, yea it works, sort of... Trying to optimize, anyone have any feelings about the photos / text? Some of the photos are currently used in the profile, not all. Which photos would you use/not use? Why? Same for the paragraph content. The PDF link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8ED-d7AJzeZclFzRUJsZEw3N3M/view?usp=sharing My area is kinda rural, I work and live in a university town. After a few months you kinda run out of options with this batch size. OKC did some statistical presentation, men with animals are allegedly getting far more responses, ha ha, ok He's my little lizard, might as well use him. Thanks!
Ami1uwant Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Not following your link.... post the paragraph on here.
Arieswoman Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Hyperfocal, I could open your link and the profile looks great ( love the lizard) - good luck !
angel.eyes Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Great profile! It's short and to the point, but filled with tons of information that gives the reader a good feel for you as a person. I love the range of photos. They depict you well and show you pursuing your passions. I guess you like pineapples! That being said, lose the photo with the lizard. Most women are going to be turned off by reptiles. Then you don't have a profile picture? Yes. While your other photos are good, none of them make a good profile picture. Have a friend take a few candids and select among those.
Author Hyperfocal Posted October 18, 2016 Author Posted October 18, 2016 OK, thanks! I have a lady I know, she knows her stuff... says I present as too logical, to INTJ, almost autistic in my profile. Yet in person she feels I am charming. Like even my username is "Tetris" = logical, ya know? Would sending this profile more in the emotional direction be right... "likes to cuddle," something about candles, that sort of thing? Maybe I should stick to who I am. While I am sensual, making an OLD display like that just doesn't feel natural to me, bedroom shot laying down, come on now, people do it, but it doesnt strike me as right. Reptiles: I think snakes, caracal tiger cats, Iguanas, and other large "Can hurt you" stuff is a bit out there. Idk about an innocent little dragon.
salparadise Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I agree that you come across as too something (INTJish). I think you should loosen up, inject some humor and personality into the writing. Be a bit more warm and fuzzy and lose some of the geek persona. Photo are ok but could definitely be improved upon. Lose the one standing on the bucket and replace the main shot. No lizard, relaxed, casual, smiling, comfortable looking. Bike shots are good, kitchen shot is good (shows you live in a real house), #6 is ok if that's your volunteer gig. Concentrate on creating a feeling enhanced by both the writing and photos, and dispense with the linear, rational, decision-making... the innocent little dragon being a good example. It's not the fact that it's harmless, it's that women tend not to relate to reptiles... or men who are all about little reptiles. It's visceral. They imagine waking up one night with that thing crawling around under the covers. "While I am sensual, making an OLD display like that just doesn't feel natural to me, bedroom shot laying down, come on now, people do it, but it doesnt strike me as right." Correct. Don't try and illustrate an idea literally. Just create the feeling. In the writing, don't merely describe by attaching an adjective... that's the equivalent of a photo on the bed to illustrate sensual. Demonstrate by creating the feeling. For example, don't say I have a great sense of humor. Say something funny. Women like long copy. Long copy sells in direct mail and web marketing. I'm not talking extremely long, but each of those essay headings could easily be a couple of paragraphs. Perhaps 800 words total as long as it's engaging, not repetitive or tedious. Don't avoid the questions –– when it asks for movies include something current. Most people would have to google to figure out what 20,000 Leagues was, and then it's just going to reinforce the nerdy-autism thing. Remember, women are the audience you're speaking to. Make it flow, be light and airy, humorous, ethereal. 1
Mystyry Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I opened your profile too and it looks very nice, well spelled and nicely articulated as a bonus. I'd say you should try and inject a couple of lines maybe even poking humor at yourself for matter-of-fact profile, if you also come across methodical in person to an extent. Don't try to change who you are too much on paper - after all you are trying to attracf the right person for YOU, not for an imaginary Don Juan personality 1
Author Hyperfocal Posted October 19, 2016 Author Posted October 19, 2016 I updated the link (same link) https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8ED-d7AJzeZclFzRUJsZEw3N3M/view to include photo #7, I had used it up till this week as the main photo. I appreciate your notes Sal, as I think you and I are wired kinda similar per your past posts. Lose the one standing on the bucket and replace the main shot Two women who I've been with have commented liking the butt in that photo. I was like 'Ok!' #6 is ok if that's your volunteer gig. #6, the cookout, is something I did at work, I had the feeling that group photos indicate normal social qualities, so I have two photos with other person(s) in them. Does that sound logical? when it asks for movies include something current. My social circle is folks more aspie than myself, really, movies and TV are not our thing. I went 2 yrs without TV at all, now I watch documentaries. That is a dating handicap, sure, but it's also who I am. Ditto for clubs, wineries, and horse races. I just don't dig those activities, most people seem to. Say something funny.Ahh, I have the Lisa Simpson comparison, and the pineapples line, is that enough? My humor is dry, and to the moment, usually not scripted = hard! maybe even poking humor at yourself for matter-of-fact profile, I'll try! Username: So I may change things up and change the username and photo(s) at same time. How about " Contagious optimism" or "Showers Daily" "Atypical" or just use my name. Any of those sound good? Whats funny about us INTJ's, is the social stuff I can assemble in my head, am sensitive to the nuances, but often incapable of putting it out there how in a typical manner. Thanks again!
Sunnymae Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I'm a woman, and I love bearded dragons, I would have text you just based on that. The bicycle thing is a turn off for me, I think this is more of a male thing, not to many women cycling from what I could tell. Plus it's a source of rejection for me since my last BF left me b/c I didn't ride in his bracket. Looks like you're a fun adventures person, looking for likewise significant other. I wonder if maybe you'd have better look in real life meet ups with people who have similar interest.
Sunnymae Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I updated the link (same link) https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8ED-d7AJzeZclFzRUJsZEw3N3M/view to include photo #7, I had used it up till this week as the main photo. I appreciate your notes Sal, as I think you and I are wired kinda similar per your past posts. Two women who I've been with have commented liking the butt in that photo. I was like 'Ok!' #6, the cookout, is something I did at work, I had the feeling that group photos indicate normal social qualities, so I have two photos with other person(s) in them. Does that sound logical? My social circle is folks more aspie than myself, really, movies and TV are not our thing. I went 2 yrs without TV at all, now I watch documentaries. That is a dating handicap, sure, but it's also who I am. Ditto for clubs, wineries, and horse races. I just don't dig those activities, most people seem to. Ahh, I have the Lisa Simpson comparison, and the pineapples line, is that enough? My humor is dry, and to the moment, usually not scripted = hard! I'll try! Username: So I may change things up and change the username and photo(s) at same time. How about " Contagious optimism" or "Showers Daily" "Atypical" or just use my name. Any of those sound good? Whats funny about us INTJ's, is the social stuff I can assemble in my head, am sensitive to the nuances, but often incapable of putting it out there how in a typical manner. Thanks again! BTW I like pic #7 the best
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