LilyXO Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 Hey there, I met this guy a few months ago and we really hit it off. We were talking everyday and ultimately we dated for around a month and a half, maybe a little bit over that. It was overall a pretty intense relationship, we had 6 dates in the space of 3 weeks and were talking constantly. But then as things were progressing he ended it over the phone and his reasons were really vague and left me feeling awfully confused. He said things like "I don't really know what the problem is, I just don't think it will work out". And when I pressed him for a reason he insisted that he wasn't really sure what was wrong, just that he "didn't know what he wanted" and he was "confused". So in the end we agreed to be friends and stay in contact, even though I was upset it ended on overall pretty good terms. After that in the weeks following we spoke on the phone a couple of times, never about the relationship, just about life in general. Then a few weeks later I texted him and he didn't reply for a couple of days, so I was a bit silly and sent him a snarky text asking why he was ignoring me. He was a bit abrasive and told me to calm down, so a few days after that I sent him an apology which he accepted and insisted he wasn't mad. Fast forward 3 weeks or so of not talking and he's deleted me off of facebook! I really don't understand why he would have done that since everything was pretty friendly between us and we had said we'll hang out in future. I haven't posted anything on facebook that would prompt him to do this, so why would he unfriend me do you think? Is he completely over it and just trying to delete me out of his life or is it the other way around and in fact he's not over it? I don't even particularly care about being with him, I was just determined to be friendly and on good terms but this feels like a bit of a slap in the face. Any attempt at an explanation would be appreciated!
JewelD Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 Why do you need to be on good terms with this guy? You didn't meet with the intention of being friends, you dated and it didn't work out so that's the end of it. I think he offered to stay in touch just to be kind but probably didn't expect that you would have requirements for this friendship. Things weren't going well if you snapped on him. That's something a girlfriend would do and he already made it clear he does not want you to be his girlfriend. You don't have to be friends with a guy just because it didn't work out and he offers. If you had been longtime friends before the dating, then sure, but you guys just met. Accept it for what it is and just let him go. 2
stillafool Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 Hey there, I met this guy a few months ago and we really hit it off. We were talking everyday and ultimately we dated for around a month and a half, maybe a little bit over that. It was overall a pretty intense relationship, we had 6 dates in the space of 3 weeks and were talking constantly. But then as things were progressing he ended it over the phone and his reasons were really vague and left me feeling awfully confused. He said things like "I don't really know what the problem is, I just don't think it will work out". And when I pressed him for a reason he insisted that he wasn't really sure what was wrong, just that he "didn't know what he wanted" and he was "confused". So in the end we agreed to be friends and stay in contact, even though I was upset it ended on overall pretty good terms. After that in the weeks following we spoke on the phone a couple of times, never about the relationship, just about life in general. Then a few weeks later I texted him and he didn't reply for a couple of days, so I was a bit silly and sent him a snarky text asking why he was ignoring me. He was a bit abrasive and told me to calm down, so a few days after that I sent him an apology which he accepted and insisted he wasn't mad. Fast forward 3 weeks or so of not talking and he's deleted me off of facebook! I really don't understand why he would have done that since everything was pretty friendly between us and we had said we'll hang out in future. I haven't posted anything on facebook that would prompt him to do this, so why would he unfriend me do you think? Is he completely over it and just trying to delete me out of his life or is it the other way around and in fact he's not over it? I don't even particularly care about being with him, I was just determined to be friendly and on good terms but this feels like a bit of a slap in the face. Any attempt at an explanation would be appreciated! He has told you the truth from his end that he didn't think it would work out. He really didn't have a solid excuse that wouldn't hurt your feelings but you get his drift. He is no longer interested. That is why he deleted you from FB. There is no explanation except his feelings do not match yours and he suspects you still like him too much to be friends. I think you'd be wise not to question this anymore and just move on.
Author LilyXO Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 I see what you mean and I do think you're right. It's just confusing because he was the one to instigate the phone calls after the break up, and even during those conversations I was careful not to mention hanging out. Instead he said three times during one conversation that he wanted to go for a drink and catch up. So I just feel that there were a load of mixed messages. It's annoying to me that he would say these things if he was just trying to spare my feelings. If he had said he wasn't interested in being friends then it would have been a lot easier and I could have left the situation alone, I only snapped because what he was doing and what he was saying wasn't adding up. But like I said, you're probably right!
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I can understand you're confused as in your mind there wasn't anything wrong when you were dating but sadly he thought differently. Maybe he couldn't pin point exactly why he thought it wouldn't work out or maybe he was saying that to spare your feelings. If it's the latter, then they whole wanting to be friends initially was his way of trying to be kind but in fact it just caused you more confusion. I think you just need to let him go. You dated, it didn't work out. Life always has unanswered questions. Best to just accept it and move on. Easier said than done sometimes but you need to do it otherwise you'll be unhappy.
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