thisisconfusing Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 About two months ago I went out on a tinder date with this guy. Before the date I knew for a fact I wanted a one night stand and a one night stand is what I got. But something shocking happened. He texted me every other day after the night. He would send "Have a great day" texts and invited me out again. I liked him then and I like him now but i wasnt ready. So i told him that i would prefer to leave it at a one night stand and he asked if i would prefer a friends with benefits. I just said no I dont want anything. Now two months later im thinking about him. I text him and he responds. he invites me out for that same weekend and it was fun and clearly the attraction is there. The following week he goes on vacation and he texts me saying to have a good day. the weekend after that i invite him out because i was going to be in his area. Long story short, he hasnt really been initiating contact unless I do after the last time we hung out. I am pretty aloof. In my mind I know im interested but my actual actions come off as if im not. I dont know if theres anything I should be saying to him. Or if I should just wait it out and see. I did ask him to have dinner and he said yes. I feel because I rejected him I should be making the effort now. Advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
smackie9 Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 You are in the drivers seat because you were the one that told him no.....now he is waiting for YOU to initiate the FWB. So yes you are right you have to be the one to make the effort. He isn't going to waste his time making a move when he was told no. Just let him know. Guys do not take subtle hints, and are not mind readers......you need to be direct with your communication. Makes life so much easier. Trust me on this, there have been many threads guys asking us what we think the girl he is asking about is thinking.
Author thisisconfusing Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 You are in the drivers seat because you were the one that told him no.....now he is waiting for YOU to initiate the FWB. So yes you are right you have to be the one to make the effort. He isn't going to waste his time making a move when he was told no. Just let him know. Guys do not take subtle hints, and are not mind readers......you need to be direct with your communication. Makes life so much easier. Trust me on this, there have been many threads guys asking us what we think the girl he is asking about is thinking. Well I dont want a FWB. I dont think he wanted that initially. He just assumed I did. So I should take the same approach?
babylonsfire Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 Well I dont want a FWB. I dont think he wanted that initially. He just assumed I did. So I should take the same approach? Just tell him exactly what you want, be direct, no one likes guessing game; if hes interested, he'll let you know and great, have fun. If he's not, hopefully, he'll let you know, and move on.
Author thisisconfusing Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 Just tell him exactly what you want, be direct, no one likes guessing game; if hes interested, he'll let you know and great, have fun. If he's not, hopefully, he'll let you know, and move on. I wouldn't know what to say that wont be too much. I want to be honest but light.
LargoLagg Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 how about something like Hi ___________! When we met, I was interested in one thing, and I thought I'd be like that for a while, but to be honest, you've scratched that itch for me. Now I'm interested in a little more and I'd like to get to know you. Wanna go on a real date? If I was in his shoes, I'd know what that means.
Author thisisconfusing Posted October 19, 2016 Author Posted October 19, 2016 how about something like Hi ___________! When we met, I was interested in one thing, and I thought I'd be like that for a while, but to be honest, you've scratched that itch for me. Now I'm interested in a little more and I'd like to get to know you. Wanna go on a real date? If I was in his shoes, I'd know what that means. Well i basically told him flat out that I dont want a friends with benefits. And I didnt get a reply. Which was very telling. He clearly isnt interested. I wouldve appreciated some honesty. But moving on.
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