When your partners mother hates you...

[arla]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 4.5 months. We see each other a few times a week and I have met his mother twice. She hates me, even before she met me.

 

My BF has been divorced for about a year and a half (separated for a year before that). His mom and his ex are close and still in contact. She thinks that they will get back together (no chance). His ex talks to his mom regularly and plays the victim angle and says how much she wants him back. She doesn't actually, she just doesn't want to lose his family as a support since she has none.

 

The other issue is age. I'm 23 and he's 32. It works great for us and we are very happy. His mother thinks I am too young and I'm going to **** around with him, hurt him, won't be serious etc. She has said she'll never let me mother his children (he has none yet) and I'd be a terrible mother because I'm young.

 

She views me as the younger woman her son is seeing, eventually he'll get bored and move on.

 

He invited me to their cottage for holidays. He hasn't brought another woman home like that since his ex. I'm going to go and he wants me to go. He assures me that his mother will get over it when she gets to know me and sees that I'm not going anywhere. His mother said if he invites me she will invite his ex (who would probably show up).

 

I don't want her to hate me and I don't want to forever have a MIL despise me. How the heck do I go about this to try and get on her good side?

[JewelD]

You've only been together 4.5 months and you're thinking marriage?

 

Unless he hates his mother, this is a battle you will lose. But she might be right about the age gap. Two different places in life and he might just be having a good time with you.

 

His ex still being in the picture should also concern you though. Whose to say they won't get back together eventually? Some men really do love pleasing their mothers and they believe momma knows best. If his ex was truly over him, she wouldn't be an honorary member of the family, especially since they don't have kids.

 

You're not going to get on her good side. She might tolerate you if you had kids with him, but she's probably never going to like you. I wouldn't even want to spend time with his family being treated like that. You're clearly unwelcome and he's trying to force you on his mother.

 

Run for the hills. Find a younger man whose family actually welcomes you without you having to jump through hoops.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

Well my MiL hated me for a long time. I didn't give damn what she thought of me. I'm with her daughter, not her. She came to my house one day a long time ago. We're talkin over 13 years ago. Probably longer then that. But she came over to yell at me for "corrupting" her daughter. I flipped her off and slammed the door in her face.

 

Now I say hi, and drop my kids off over at her house and we are fine. I don't like her, she probably doesn't like me, but it doesn't matter. It has never had a negative impact on my relationship and our marriage. So it's a non issue to me.

 

The only issue is if you got a mamma's boy who can't stand up against her. You will know after this holiday if that is indeed the case. If he shows any pansy mamma's boy signs, run for the hills. He would rather make her happy then you. Hopefully he is a real man and not some pansy mamma's boy. You will know soon enough. If he's a real man, it shouldn't make a negative impact on your relationship with him unless you somehow allow it to.

[arla]

I'm not thinking about marriage. I don't know where you got that from. I am thinking long term so that I don't waste time but I'm not assuming we'll get married at this point.

 

We are different ages, but we aren't that far apart in life. Neither of us have kids, we are both through schooling, working, we live on our own, etc. I'm not, and never have been, into drinking, parties, etc. There are definitely times when the age gap is noticed, but not negatively.

 

He doesn't want his ex in the picture at all. She hangs around because his mother allows it and she has no family of her own, they disowned her. I hate it, I'll admit that. He avoids her as much as he can and leavesif she is around.

 

It's not ideal and I wouldn't want to continuously be around her if she keeps acting that way. I'd like to at least try, our relationship is going well and I want to try.

 

They wouldn't get back together. They had a nasty separation and she changed what she wanted in life. He wants nothing to do with her. Yes, anything can happen, but that goes for any situation.

 

He has stood up for me before when he heard his mother saying some rude things to me. He basically said that I'm not going anywhere and she cannot talk to me like that of she expects him to come around. He said he was a momma's boy growing up, but their relationship lost some respect during his divorce.

[JewelD]

I'm not thinking about marriage. I don't know where you got that from. I am thinking long term so that I don't waste time but I'm not assuming we'll get married at this point.

 

We are different ages, but we aren't that far apart in life. Neither of us have kids, we are both through schooling, working, we live on our own, etc. I'm not, and never have been, into drinking, parties, etc. There are definitely times when the age gap is noticed, but not negatively.

 

He doesn't want his ex in the picture at all. She hangs around because his mother allows it and she has no family of her own, they disowned her. I hate it, I'll admit that. He avoids her as much as he can and leavesif she is around.

 

It's not ideal and I wouldn't want to continuously be around her if she keeps acting that way. I'd like to at least try, our relationship is going well and I want to try.

 

They wouldn't get back together. They had a nasty separation and she changed what she wanted in life. He wants nothing to do with her. Yes, anything can happen, but that goes for any situation.

 

He has stood up for me before when he heard his mother saying some rude things to me. He basically said that I'm not going anywhere and she cannot talk to me like that of she expects him to come around. He said he was a momma's boy growing up, but their relationship lost some respect during his divorce.

 

Well you haven't been together a year so this is a time that you should be getting to know him to think about if he's someone you would want to be with. You mentioned not wanting to have a mother-in-law who would despise you and that you want to get on her good side but maybe you should be certain that you want to be a part of this family first.

 

The whole story just sounds fishy. They supposedly had a nasty separation and yet shes still welcome in the family home and he has surely spent time with her since the separation whether he's telling you that or not.

 

You cannot make someone like you. And at 4.5 months, I wouldn't even waste my time trying. Your boyfriend stands up for you and yet he wants you to come to stay with them knowing how his mother feels about you. He might be a little angry with her, but he's probably still a mama's boy at heart which is why he is hoping forcing you upon his mother will make her accept you at some point.

 

I personally would not bring a significant other around people who did not like them. He's doing it because he seeks his mother's approval and it's possible the relationship won't go any further if you don't get it.

 

You could try sucking up to her and buying her gifts but as long as his ex is still in the picture and she's got history on you, I doubt anything you do is going to work.

[CC12]

How do you know that she hated you before she even met you? How do you know that she thinks you're too young and that you'll just mess with his heart and/or be a terrible mother to his future children? Has she personally told you these things? Or did your boyfriend tell you she said that?

 

If he was the one who told you those things, I have to wonder about his intention in telling you that. What was the point? Why would he want you to know about these hurtful things people were saying about you? If he really believed that his mother would come around once she got to know you, why wouldn't he just let her get to know you and see what happens?

 

And if his mother told you these things directly to you, why would he want to bring you around her at all? Why would he want to expose you to someone who says such vile things to you?

 

Either way you look at it, at best your boyfriend is handling this really badly, and at worst, he is thriving on the drama he is creating between women in his life.

 

His ex talks to his mom regularly and plays the victim angle and says how much she wants him back. She doesn't actually, she just doesn't want to lose his family as a support since she has none.

 

Be really, really careful about the way you talk and think about his ex. Remember, you don't know her, you don't know what she actually says and whether she really plays victim, and you don't know what she actually wants from his family. You only know what your boyfriend tells you, and he is clearly a person who either likes to stir drama, or he's just monumentally bad at relationships in general, whether familial or romantic.

 

If you just want to get along with his mother, don't go to the holiday cottage. It's too soon. In the future, pretend she's never said anything bad about you. Pretend she's just your new boyfriend's mother who you've never met, and you're trying to impress her. Invite her to your house for lunch, or take her out to dinner. You can take the high road at every opportunity and never engage in gossip or drama. If the ex ever comes up in conversation, smile and nod, and change the subject.

[Poe77]

Honestly ive been were you are minus the meddling ex "thank god" but my BFs mother hated me from the moment she laid eyes on me..Seriously if looks could kill I would have incinerated instantly at her front door..I think she hated me before we even got together cause I took her stable income away from her..Literally she lost her house when me and him moved in together shes very irresponsible with money..the women's got like over 10 evictions in her name threw out the years that just insane to me.

 

Anyways ive had to kick her out of our house once and confront her face to face cause her and the rest of his loser family was trying to freeload on us!..Unlike you tho my BF wont always stand up for me with out coxing were working on that I think its years of programing to be honest and the fact he hates conflict..

 

But yeah ive actually seen her texts saying how "the hate is mutual"..since then shes kinda mellowed but you can never totally feel comfortable around a family like that shes the ring leader and believe me the rest of his huge family is just as bat **** crazy. Despite this me and her son get along awesome love each other as bf/gf and best friends..so I tolerate her im respectful to her as long as she is to us she knows my limits now and not to cross them.

 

End of the day its just not worth it OP dont play their games..you have to just draw your line in the sand and not let them cross it. IF you go to the cottage for the holidays and shes there I would quietly turn around and go home you dont have to deal with that kinda of drama and you know the EX isn't going to be nice about things it will be her chance to shine..

 

Just keep your distance from her and the ex and focus on the two of you maybe in time when you guys are together longer you can suggest a move? get away from them all together that's what were going to be doing soon as we can..

[Gloria25]

I side with your bf's mum...

 

I'm 40.

 

With age come wisdom, knowledge, and experience. That means that I don't have to "get to know" someone to identify red flags that are "on the face". In other words, seen this scenario play out already, several times over.

 

I would explain why, but hey, I'm sure that with people who are in their twenty years younger than me got it all figured out.

[cocorico]

My XH's mother initially had issues with me. Like you, I was younger (by 11 years) and he was D, though the xW hadn't stayed close to his family.

 

She worried that I was too "radical" and that I'd be a bad influence in her son but his father and I got on really well (even though we argued about close on everything) and perhaps that just added to her wariness (xFIL used to flirt outrageously with waitresses, etc and had been unfaithful to her at some point in their past.

 

The turning point seemed to be when I fell pregnant. Suddenly I was amsacred vessel carrying their grandchild and later when we split up, they very much supported me and stayed close to me - perhaps, again, because of the grandkids, IDK. We stayed close until his father died, and his mother's dementia was so pronounced she no longer recognised anyone.

[arla]

I am thinking about and learning if he is someone I want to spend my life with. But doesn't that include knowing his family? That's part of him, and his life, and would be part of mine as well. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

Their separation was nasty between the two of them but didn't extend out to the family. After marriage she decided she didn't want kids and never did, he really wants them. She became very cold and distant. He cheated one time, and that created more problems. He doesn't talk about her a lot and isnt always trash talking her. He says things for how hey were, good or bad, and moves on.

 

His mom got close with her because she's just like that. She "takes in" anyone (but me I guess). She still talks to a couple of his other exes from time to time. My BF never told him mom why they really divorced, just that they grew apart and he cheated. He said that's none of her business and he doesn't want to trash talk her to everyone.

 

I do kind of worry that if his mom won't approve he won't want to continue the relationship. He says he wants me to meet her again because she will get over her hang ups once she knows me and that he wants the rest of his family to meet me and they only get together on holidays really. We'll have been together for 6-7 months at Christmas and to me that seems like a normal time to meet family. I don't want his entire family to hate me.

 

 

I know how she feels about me because she has told me, to my face, twice. My BF doesn't really tell me what she says to him. She only says things when my BF is out of the room for a minute. She doesn't say anything when he's there. If he hears her say something he shuts it down immediately.

 

I don't think he is just trying to create drama. He stops it immediately. If his ex is there he leaves or won't go over. He didn't see them last Christmas because she was there. He wants nothing to do with her. He has said if she's there again this year he won't go, unless I want to. I wouldn't, I don't want to play into drama.

Edited October 22, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[arla]

I side with your bf's mum...

 

I'm 40.

 

With age come wisdom, knowledge, and experience. That means that I don't have to "get to know" someone to identify red flags that are "on the face". In other words, seen this scenario play out already, several times over.

 

I would explain why, but hey, I'm sure that with people who are in their twenty years younger than me got it all figured out.

 

If I'm being stupid and showing my inexperience I'd like to know... I don't want to get hurt because I wasn't reading into him enough.

[Whoknew30]

I am thinking about and learning if he is someone I want to spend my life with. But doesn't that include knowing his family? That's part of him, and his life, and would be part of mine as well. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

Their separation was nasty between the two of them but didn't extend out to the family. After marriage she decided she didn't want kids and never did, he really wants them. She became very cold and distant. He cheated one time, and that created more problems. He doesn't talk about her a lot and isnt always trash talking her. He says things for how hey were, good or bad, and moves on.

 

His mom got close with her because she's just like that. She "takes in" anyone (but me I guess). She still talks to a couple of his other exes from time to time. My BF never told him mom why they really divorced, just that they grew apart and he cheated. He said that's none of her business and he doesn't want to trash talk her to everyone.

 

I do kind of worry that if his mom won't approve he won't want to continue the relationship. He says he wants me to meet her again because she will get over her hang ups once she knows me and that he wants the rest of his family to meet me and they only get together on holidays really. We'll have been together for 6-7 months at Christmas and to me that seems like a normal time to meet family. I don't want his entire family to hate me.

 

 

I know how she feels about me because she has told me, to my face, twice. My BF doesn't really tell me what she says to him. She only says things when my BF is out of the room for a minute. She doesn't say anything when he's there. If he hears her say something he shuts it down immediately.

 

I don't think he is just trying to create drama. He stops it immediately. If his ex is there he leaves or won't go over. He didn't see them last Christmas because she was there. He wants nothing to do with her. He has said if she's there again this year he won't go, unless I want to. I wouldn't, I don't want to play into drama.

 

 

Well let's be honest, your BF started family drama by being a cheater. His marriage ended bc of him. His mom sees this & feels bad for her exDIL. Maybe she doesn't want to get to know you bc she thinks she'll "take you in" & he'll do it again. The fact that you're not even thinking about that, shows your lack of experience due to age...that's what I'd be thinking.

 

As for you, you should be more worried that fact you're ok dating someone that has admitted to cheating on his wife bc their relationship got hard...what happens if your relationship hits a rough patch? You think having kids takes that out of someone, nope... makes a relationship even harder

 

After only 4 months & you're worried about his family but not his history of being unfaithful...sounds extremely nieve.

Edited October 22, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[arla]

Well let's be honest, your BF started family drama by being a cheater. His marriage ended bc of him. His mom sees this & feels bad for her exDIL. Maybe she doesn't want to get to know you bc she thinks she'll "take you in" & he'll do it again. The fact that you're not even thinking about that, shows your lack of experience due to age...that's what I'd be thinking.

 

As for you, you should be more worried that fact you're ok dating someone that has admitted to cheating on his wife bc their relationship got hard...what happens if your relationship hits a rough patch? You think having kids takes that out of someone, nope... makes a relationship even harder

 

After only 4 months & you're worried about his family but not his history of being unfaithful...sounds extremely nieve.

 

That could be why his mother acts the way she does, but I don't know. She acts like she really hates me. Wouldn't she be warning me that I'd get hurt instead of telling me noty to hurt her son? I am inexperienced and I want to listen to people more knowledgeable than I am...

 

He cheated once. And trust me, it was something that bothered me a lot until we really talked about it. I do still have my guard up. He cheated because she became so cold and distant, stopped sleeping at home or going home. He had a co-worker who was interested in him and flirted with him. They had sex once, after that he left that work place and hasn't talked to that woman since. He felt really badly about it and doesn't want to ever do it again.

 

I do worry about it, I don't want to be cheated on. But I think it really was a one-time mistake. Who knows if there will even be a long term to cheat if his mother doesn't come around.

[Gaeta]

He cheated one time, and that created more problems.

 

So you're getting yourself a cheater that has huge drama going with an ex wife of 2 years. That's what you want to sign for?

 

You're only 4 months in, time to terminate this.

 

And there is a good reason why a 32 yo is dating a 23 yo, it's because women his age are smarter, wiser, and more experienced and won't put up with his drama and his cheating. Only younger naive with no experience women like you will date him.

[JewelD]

No, you have already met his mother and she does not like you and instead of accepting that and making a decision you are trying to figure out ways to make her like you.

 

That's not how the game works at this stage. You don't start dating a guy and trying to change things about him that you don't like because he is who he is. You either accept it or you leave it alone. The same goes for his family and the important people in his life. You either accept the fact that they don't like you or you move on to someone else.

 

You certainly try to make it seem like their separation was mutual and that his ex had done some nasty things to him. No wonder it sounded strange, if that was the case, she would not be welcome in the family home. Him cheating on his wife wasn't a red flag to you? His mother telling you she doesn't like you isnt a red flag to you? The fact that your boyfriend actually knows his mother doesn't like you and still invites you to be around her isn't a red flag to you?

 

That's why I said his mother was probably right. It's a very large age Gap and being in your twenties does not mean drinking and partying all the time. You're not exactly a special snowflake for not doing it. You're at the age where you should be building your education and your career and figuring out what you want in life and what you want in a partner. He is at the age where he should have already built his career and is probably going to want to settle down in the near future. From the way you speak about him, he's also got 32 years of experience playing people. You don't seem to have much experience dating older men and that makes it much easier for him to run his 32 year old game on you.

 

That's why a lot of older men like younger women, not just because of their looks but because some of them are easily manipulated and they don't know any better.

 

How a man's parents feel about you when they meet you the first time is probably how they're always going to feel about you. Unless you give him a kidney or children and then they might tolerate you a little more but never truly like you.

[Gaeta]

He cheated because she became so cold and distant, stopped sleeping at home or going home. He had a co-worker who was interested in him and flirted with him. They had sex once, after that he left that work place and hasn't talked to that woman since. He felt really badly about it and doesn't want to ever do it again.

 

That's a lot of BS. If he was not happy in this relationship he had to leave it before jumping in bed with someone else. There is no excuse for cheating, not even a wife that doesn't sleep home. You know what that means right? When something goes wrong with you he'll cheat, yes he will.

[jen1447]

I don't want her to hate me and I don't want to forever have a MIL despise me. How the heck do I go about this to try and get on her good side?

 

You don't. She's made her position clear, so just accept that and move on. In my book that means avoid contact w her and no pretense of friendly overtures etc. Definitely don't go on any trips w her.

 

If you try to engage you're just playing into her trap ("Arla's desperate for my approval but I'll never give it bc she's horrible" etc. etc.) That leaves you permanently in the wind, so don't do that to yourself. She made the call on what she wants from you so let her have it.

 

btw you haven't seen disapproval until you've experienced it in the same sex relationship world. I've had a few moms seem like they literally wanted to kill me for corrupting their blameless daughters and turning them to women.

[Whoknew30]

You don't. She's made her position clear, so just accept that and move on. In my book that means avoid contact w her and no pretense of friendly overtures etc. Definitely don't go on any trips w her.

 

If you try to engage you're just playing into her trap ("Arla's desperate for my approval but I'll never give it bc she's horrible" etc. etc.) That leaves you permanently in the wind, so don't do that to yourself. She made the call on what she wants from you so let her have it.

 

btw you haven't seen disapproval until you've experienced it in the same sex relationship world. I've had a few moms seem like they literally wanted to kill me for corrupting their blameless daughters and turning them to women.

 

I'd agree if this was about the mom really not liking her...I don't think it has any to do with her. It's got to do with her bf...I'd bet anything the mom thinks this girl will be the next she's going to have to be helping bc of her son screwing her over.

 

This is happened to my mom with my dad's family. He was divorced 9 months, only had been dating my much younger mom for 6 months before she became pregnant & they got married. My mom thought they hated her & that wasn't the case, they were standoffish bc they didn't trust my dad's choices & thought he was going to be married another 5 times,so why bother getting to know her.

 

They stayed together but he put her through hell for years before he changed. Same with my brother before he got married, there were so many different girls that my 6 year old looked at one & said "there's no point for me to get to know you bc they'll be another girl next week"...same philosophy I believe that's going on here.

[jen1447]

^ Thing is it's not her job to figure out what her BF's mom "really means" or w/e. Whatever she says goes, and she made herself abundantly clear.

[Gaeta]

He invited me to their cottage for holidays. He hasn't brought another woman home like that since his ex. I'm going to go and he wants me to go.

 

Who owns that cottage?

 

I doubt he does. Family cottage usually belong to the parents till it is passed down to the children. If his mother (and father) owns that cottage do not show your face there.

 

I find it very immature and defiant of your boyfriend to force you on his mother and on her property.

[O'Malley]

There's nothing you can do to alter or fix this dynamic other than minimizing your contact with her and if you absolutely must be in her presence (family emergency) never be alone with her. This sort of behavior is deep seated, long term and tends to repeatedly play out with various partners of an adult child.

 

If you're otherwise content with your relationship get on with your life, but I certainly would not be visiting her home uninvited nor welcoming her into any home you might share in the future.

[Gloria25]

So you're getting yourself a cheater that has huge drama going with an ex wife of 2 years. That's what you want to sign for?

 

You're only 4 months in, time to terminate this.

 

And there is a good reason why a 32 yo is dating a 23 yo, it's because women his age are smarter, wiser, and more experienced and won't put up with his drama and his cheating. Only younger naive with no experience women like you will date him.

 

Thank you...

[arla]

You guys are right, I cannot change her or make her like me. She either will or won't. Barging in on her life or in her home isn't going to help at all. If - like others have said - she doesn't actually hate me just doesn't expect me to stay around, and eventually she wants to get to know me, she will open that door. If she doesn't, I have to accept that and if I can't deal with it then move on.

 

So you're getting yourself a cheater that has huge drama going with an ex wife of 2 years. That's what you want to sign for?

 

You're only 4 months in, time to terminate this.

 

And there is a good reason why a 32 yo is dating a 23 yo, it's because women his age are smarter, wiser, and more experienced and won't put up with his drama and his cheating. Only younger naive with no experience women like you will date him.

 

When we're together it feels amazing, and almost always perfect. When we are apart I start second guessing. We see each other every 2-3 days and spend most weekends together. We have sex every time we see each other and aside from a couple things it's really, really good and maybe it clouds my judgement. Taking everything else out of the equation, the sex and the connection between us is amazing. I haven't had that before and I don't want to throw it away. That's what I am signing up for, a great connection, we have a lot of fun together, we get along very well, we have common interests, we challenge each other, we push each other. He makes me feel so good. He made a mistake cheating, I don't think it's fair to forever call him a cheater when it was only one time.

 

That is something that I worry about. I have never dated an older man. I don't want him to be using me because of my naiveté. I have read a lot online about scenarios of younger women being totally played and manipulated. It doesn't feel the same, but I'm not on the outside looking in. The drama with his ex, he tries to stay out of. He doesn't have contact with her, if she's around he leaves or doesn't go.

 

That's a lot of BS. If he was not happy in this relationship he had to leave it before jumping in bed with someone else. There is no excuse for cheating, not even a wife that doesn't sleep home. You know what that means right? When something goes wrong with you he'll cheat, yes he will.

 

So people never just make a spur of the moment mistake? Doing something once can't guarantee it will happen again... To me, it seems like he did everything right... He told his ex, he stopped contacting the other woman, he switched job locations, he has been totally open to me and shows remorse.

 

Who owns that cottage?

 

I doubt he does. Family cottage usually belong to the parents till it is passed down to the children. If his mother (and father) owns that cottage do not show your face there.

 

I find it very immature and defiant of your boyfriend to force you on his mother and on her property.

 

The cottage belongs to his family, who legally owns it I don't know. It would either be his parents or grandfather (who is too old to go up). The whole family has use of it, but I would say it's his parents. I have been up once while his mother was there.

 

If she doesn't want me around, I don't want to intrude on her space. Forcing myself on her isn't going to help the situation. I thought that avoiding her wouldn't help either. I guess nothing will help.

 

The way he has explained it is that she doesn't like me because she thinks I won't stick around, so having me around will show her that I'm not going anywhere. It's his mother, he knows her best. But even if that were the case, she would just be standoff-ish or a bit cold, not straight up mean. I should probably tell him I'm not going to go if she doesn't want me there... Her home, her rules.

 

 

 

I wish I could know for sure if this relationship was a mistake or not. When I remove my emotions and how well we get along, and look at it like:

-cheated

-divorced, ex still around

-mother doesn't want me around

-possible momma's boy seeking her approval

-10 year age gap

-few weird sex things that make me question him and his divorce

-we see each other a lot, which a friend has said is manipulative

 

It doesn't look that great. But is that really how I should be looking at it?

[JewelD]

If it doesn't look good now it's certainly not going to start looking better just because you stick around for a while. I was just stop taking everything this man says is being 100% truthful. If you would lie to his wife, what makes you think he wouldn't lie to a 23 year old he's only been dating for a few months?

 

I'm sure there's plenty more to the story of him cheating that you're never going to find out unless you talk to his ex-wife or his mother but that's really not an option for you at this point.

 

And this is how women get sucked into crappy relationships. You know full well how he treated other women in his past and you're just hoping that you're going to be the magic one who changes his ways. It's probably not going to happen that way.

 

It's only been a few months, most guys are pretty decent for the first year or so. After that, you start to see who he really is. Tell him you want to be celibate for a month or two and see how often you hang out.

[Gaeta]

OF COURSE it's all amazing it's just been 4 months!!

 

Listen, if you don't want to let go of him here is your option.

 

* Do not impose yourself on his mother that will only fuel the discord

 

* If his mother thinks you won't last than the only thing that will prove her wrong is time.

 

* Keep dating him, do not participate in any event involving his mother. Respect her wish to not see you.

 

* If you are still with this man in 1 year than the mother will see you are not about to leave as she thought, then maybe she'll be willing to meet with you.

 

Between you and I, and all members of LS. Your relationship won't make it to its 7 month. Soon chemistry, butterflies and connection won't be enough to sustain this relationship filled with drama and lead by an immature 32 yo.