RyanBeynolds Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I'll try to keep this short but I'm known for rambling... Went on a first date last night. I'm in a graduate program, she is on the cheer team. Original plans were to go bowling, but when we got there the alley was rented out for a fraternity function. We went to a different place that had a bar and games (pool, shuffle board, etc.) I thought we would grab a drink and play but I guess she just wanted to talk. Everything was going well. She told me right off the bat that I already won some points because I went up to her door to get her instead of texting her that I was outside. Opened my car door for her too. I let her know some of my classmates were out at a bar, and since the plans to bowl were shot, we both agreed itd be fun to go meet them. When we got there, I felt it was kind of awkward because they werent saying much, but it got better. Maybe a little too better, because it seemed to me she showed an interest for my friend? I admit, I'd say he's more attractive than me, so I felt kind of down. All of my friends told me how much they liked her and how cool she was. At the end of the night, I dropped a friend off and took her home. No kissing or anything. It seems like every where we went, she knew some guy...because even at a stoplight she knew someone! I mentioned how she knew a lot of people and she just said how she's very social. So clearly today is the next morning and I don't think I'll message her until about Wednesday. I think she lied about having to work today because I remember her saying she was off when we talked last week. I'm pretty sure I like her but I'm just not sure what she thinks of me. Another thing that kind of disappointed me was that I don't remember her thanking me for the night. She did say she had fun though. I know it'd be impossible to tell from a few paragraphs, but your thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 You were being insecure and territorial and don't think for a second she didn't notice. Girls are very perceptive of peoples emotions and body language so it wouldn't surprise me she got turned off by your vibe. Sure ask her out again, but if she starts giving you excuses, like I'm busy, I'll get back to you, I'm working, etc.....you are done. 1
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 You were being insecure and territorial and don't think for a second she didn't notice. Girls are very perceptive of peoples emotions and body language so it wouldn't surprise me she got turned off by your vibe. Sure ask her out again, but if she starts giving you excuses, like I'm busy, I'll get back to you, I'm working, etc.....you are done. I agree I could have been, but I don't think I portrayed it at all. For instance, she went up and talked to a guy friend and I just turned and talked to my friends. When she saw the guy at the stoplight she said she knew, I rolled the window down for her. I never questioned her, whatsoever. The only time I felt bothered was at the pizza place after the bar, but we were all talking together. I'm almost 100% sure I didn't send off any signals of insecurity
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Trust me on this one.....the spit second you think it, your face shows the reaction. Anywho a kiss comes from a one on one romantic dates....you two were just hanging out. That being said maybe rethink what your possible second date will be. Remember she is more interested in talking, so a quiet dinner somewhere might do the trick. 1
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 Trust me on this one.....the spit second you think it, your face shows the reaction. Anywho a kiss comes from a one on one romantic dates....you two were just hanging out. That being said maybe rethink what your possible second date will be. Remember she is more interested in talking, so a quiet dinner somewhere might do the trick. I agree with everything you said. Thanks for replying. I learned a lot about her even though this was more of a hangout date. I mentioned I was thinking of taking her on a tour which she said would be fun but I said it'd be a bad first date since we wouldn't be able to do much talking and she agreed. She mentioned she was a thrill seeker so hopefully that can help me find something awesome to do. Going to the bar with my friends wasn't initially the plan, but it seemed to work out still. We have a mutual friend that's a classmate of mine, and she has been telling me everything that my date has been saying and what not. So hopefully I'll find out some info in class! As far as texting goes, do you think holding off is a better idea? Of course I WANT to talk to her. I'm thinking about texting her after my test on Tuesday because I'll have a lot of free time and we could plan something.
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I never understood why people "hold off" on the communication....how about CALLING her and ask to meet up for a quick coffee date tomorrow. Remember her comment about texting....she appreciates a man being a gentleman, call her! Make the effort.
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 I never understood why people "hold off" on the communication....how about CALLING her and ask to meet up for a quick coffee date tomorrow. Remember her comment about texting....she appreciates a man being a gentleman, call her! Make the effort. I agree, I just felt it's too soon to be calling. She also has a widely varying work schedule. I know she said she gets them on Sundays though. I guess I should stick to what works, though. Many girls have said they like me because I'm unique, and I've heard no one really talks on the phone anymore. I love it though so I guess I should use it to my advantage I'm thinking as of now about inviting her to this Halloween party that's happening over the weekend. Our mutual friend will be there so I think that'd be a good thing. Or perhaps the football game as well. (They are on the same day). She said she can't wait for Halloween and it's her favorite holiday
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I totally get texting is just the way it is. Hopefully she will be down for the party. Best of luck. 1
Space Ritual Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I'm thinking as of now about inviting her to this Halloween party that's happening over the weekend. Our mutual friend will be there so I think that'd be a good thing. Or perhaps the football game as well. (They are on the same day). She said she can't wait for Halloween and it's her favorite holiday I have a different take, so take it for what it is... Dinner, No Halloween Party. Save the party for another time. I am going to just throw this out there. Although you may feel more comfortable in a group setting, I think getting better acquainted with someone you fancy especially on a second date would serve you much better over a dinner just between the two of you. It does not have to be anything fancy, but taking someone to dinner shows a level of interest that really cannot be misinterpreted. Plus if you don't have a poker face, a second date at a Halloween party where alcohol is served liberally and you have a date who is super social may not prevent you from having an insecure moment. Group settings are ok if you are just trying to get laid, but if you like her, then you may want to rethink that, as if that is indeed the case you would perhaps want her undivided attention? Just thought, but I would ixnay the party. If you have any insecurity about her it will show itself n a group setting as you already know. Good Luck.
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 Well, I texted earlier today and didn't receive a reply. Bummed, but not too bummed. Noticed some red flags about her. I hope our mutual friend lets me know if she heard anything!
Space Ritual Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 Well, I texted earlier today and didn't receive a reply. Bummed, but not too bummed. Noticed some red flags about her. I hope our mutual friend lets me know if she heard anything! Sorry to hear that but if she is already giving you the cold shoulder and you saw red flags its better to leave the ball in her court. If she wants to see you she'll let you know. While you are at it, go out and have some fun. At your age there are girls a plenty that would love to date a grad student. I was already in my mid 30's when I went to grad school so I kind of missed that whole experience. 1
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 18, 2016 Author Posted October 18, 2016 Hey you all, My classmate came up to me asking how it went. I told her I wasn't very interested anymore. Her response?... "Yeah I was wondering how you guys would work out" "uhhh... What do you mean? " " she's crazy" Well why didn't you tell me that before!? Geez. Haha. Just wanted to give the conclusion to the thread since most posters seem to vanish. At least I had a fun night and got some more dating experience, and now know I can spot red flags :-) Thanks for the help everyone
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