Im in a situation

[Mr_Sadz]

I know im Young. Im 19 and My ex-girlfriend is even younger. We have been together for almost 2 years. A week ago, she told me she needs time apart. Time to be alone. She is in a situation in life where she does not know if she can handle a boyfriend. She wants time apart to see if she misses me, and if she does we should be together. But besides that she also told me that she loves me and cares about me. But she is not In love. She does not feel the feeling of falling in love. As of now I am thinking that this is the end and that we are through. But it's hard to live this way because I can not be sure before she tells me that we are though. So I need advice on how I might handle this situation

 

Thanks in advance

David

[Kelley]

All you can do is respect her decision, give her the space she has asked for. Don't contact her, let her work out what she wants. In the meantime, you get on with your life, go out with friends, start a new hobby etc. I know it's painful but the worst thing you can do is chase after her, send her messages, call etc. She has asked for space give it to her. Take care.

[petroff]

This is bullsh*t. Whenever she tells you stuff like "I don't know if I can handle a boyfriend" "I love you and care, but I need some space now.." And other crap like this, be alerted that she's no more interested, but just uses these words to end your relationship smoothly.

 

You never know with women. My ex for almost two weeks 1 week before breakup told me how much she loved me and couldn't imagine life without me and week later she broke up, and few days ago she was already sleeping with her co-worker. Let it go, don't be clingy and don't make yourself look pathetic and weak..She's not worth it, trust me. There are plenty more fish in the sea.You will be fine.

[marky00]

This is bullsh*t. Whenever she tells you stuff like "I don't know if I can handle a boyfriend" "I love you and care, but I need some space now.." And other crap like this, be alerted that she's no more interested, but just uses these words to end your relationship smoothly.

 

You never know with women. My ex for almost two weeks 1 week before breakup told me how much she loved me and couldn't imagine life without me and week later she broke up, and few days ago she was already sleeping with her co-worker. Let it go, don't be clingy and don't make yourself look pathetic and weak..She's not worth it, trust me. There are plenty more fish in the sea.You will be fine.

 

This is true. Why do dumpers (especially female dumpers) do this?

 

 

Its like they know they are ending it and probably realise they weren't a saint in the relationship and try and get some karma points before checking out.

 

 

Its the ultimate in selfish behaviour. Not only do they get to choose when it ends, they get to relieve some of their guilt as well by making it look like they cared.

[cucumber95]

Same happend to me, my ex-girlfriend told me week before breaking up that she loves me, that she is happy with me and when she would go to uni then we would move out together, etc... and week later broke up with me over text.

 

Go no contact, this is best what you can do. But don't take her back if she dated someone over this break time

 

Also note that she is young and not quite mature, same as my girlfriend she was 17.

 

Good luck

[Mr_Sadz]

Thanks for the support guys. As an update:

She and I both go to the same collage, and we both have important roles in the same club. We can't really cut contact 100% and we need to stay friends because of this.

We are almost through the first week of our "break" and I'm scared that I forget that we are breaking up and keep clinging to the hope of us getting back together, and not moving on. Every time we had to talk I acted cool, and so far I managed to get through. I need to know if it is best to just continue here on out as if we are breaking up, or should I wait until we officially break up. She said that she though about this break for 3 month. She also said that she wants a family when she is ready. She said in 4 years as an example. It is messing with my mind and I don't know that I believe

[petroff]

I suppose female dumpers look for another men "for fun" and go literally crazy because suddenly they feel free and that they can do anything without taking responsibility. But after a while comes remorse, guilt and they look at themselves and ask "what in the world I have done" but then it's usually too late to get back with a dumpee.

 

The best thing you can do is to avoid contact. Of course, you miss her, but I've got a good news for you: You don't actually miss her but her image from the past. It's all in your brain. These feelings will fade eventually.

[cucumber95]

petroff is right, the girl you love doesn't exist anymore, that girl loved you and was so much different than what she is now. good luck, it gets better