6 Year Break Up, ?

[Nerve]

So this is a pretty long one but I will try to cut it down. I was recently dumped by my girlfriend of 6 years (me 23, her 24). Honestly it came out of the blue for me, I know a lot of people say that but it seriously did. A bit of background we met when she went to University in the city that I am from. Met her out drinking and we hit it off immediately, spent that night with her and stayed up all night talking and we both agreed it felt like we had known each other forever. Situation changed in the last two years in that she moved to another city for a job once she finished University, she was about 1 hour 30 away at this point, and we saw each other 2-3 weekends a month . I struggled with it more than she did at first but I got through it and honestly we had 6 years of happiness, some arguments but nothing major. I finished University this year and have since been searching for work in the city that she moved to. I have now found a job there after she broke me off (Ironic right).

 

So now what I am struggling with, firstly when she broke it off she did it via text message out of no where. After 6 years this hurt immensely and felt like I had been side swiped with no warning. Additionally she did it at a time that was late in the evening so that I would not be able to make the drive to her place. The next day I asked her if I could drive down to talk about this face to face, she agreed however stated she had already made her mind up and nothing I could say would change that, which I accepted but found strange that after 6 years she would not even consider what I had to say. Once I got there to speak with her I was upset and did beg her for a chance (it sounds bad I know but I haven't even contacted her since so one instance of begging cant be too bad right?). She told me she had been feeling off for the last 3 months.

 

(Ok this part sounds a bit silly but I need to emphasize how shocking this was) I asked a series of questions trying to understand the last 3 months. Firstly why she could not tell me, she replied that it was her feelings and nothing that I could of done would changed those, therefore telling me was pointless. I then asked why 3 weeks prior she pushed me into booking and paying for a trip to Amsterdam for our anniversary, which was in 2 months time. Her reply to this was I thought I would feel better by then, which I find complete nonsense. Then I asked her why 2 DAYS before the break up when I asked her if we were all good she told me "Yeah its perfect I promise, I am just tired from work. Thanks for caring enough to ask that is really nice" and why the night before she broke up she sent me a random text that only contained a love heart? Her response was that she was in autopilot mode and just said/did what felt right. Finally I asked her why she intiated sex, whilst I was half asleep the week before the break up when I saw her if she has felt this way for a while. She replied I was just trying to be a good girlfriend, which again is BS. She went through a variety of different reasons for the break up, jumping from one to the other. The one that stood out was that we were 18/19 when we met and she wants to experience other things, from looking stuff up this seems to be a case of GIGS (Grass is greener syndrome) in that she just wants to play the field and see if there is anything better, further reinforced by the fact she said "I am not ruling us out in the future I still love you and care for you on some level". Sorry for this paragraph but I just need to lay out how nonsensical this whole thing is and I honestly do not believe this a 3 month decision.

 

So basically my situation now, I have not contacted her for a month (30 days tomorrow) and honestly I am not sure what my next step should be. I have been everywhere between a wreck to a determined person who is focusing on himself. I am making a lot of self improvement, working out more, started new hobbies, found a new job. I have looked up multiple different programs and self help coaches and my main issue is the conflicting advice. They all agree no contact is the way to go which amazingly I have achieved so far. However after this point half say that I should build a positive relationship again by contacting her and making positive interactions (not around the relationship but make it feel good to talk to me again). While the other half advocate never breaking no contact and letting her be the one to do so, let go of hope and begin to move on as much as possible. Both of these options bring negatives and positives and I am seriously confused which way to go. I know that love is a drug and I am probably addicted to her but on another level I feel like she is the one for me, I just wish I was the one for her and she could see that like she did for the last 6 years. The issue with contacting her and building positive interactions is am I really moving on at that point? I am scared that I will try for 3 months then get blown off again and be back to square one. On the other hand never breaking no contact is scary in that will I regret not at least trying at some point to see if this was fixable. Additionally she owes me £3000 that I used to pay off her debts about 2-3 year ago and has a brand new £750 TV in her flat that I bought under the premise that I would be living with her soon. This presents another issue of do I push for these things back? Will that make me appear petty and ruin any future chances? At the same time why should she be allowed to sit pretty with an easy life that I provided her when she treats me the way she has?

 

Sorry for this super long post but any and all advice is greatly appreciated as I am at a major cross roads and need to make a decision.

 

Thanks for your time.

Edited October 16, 2016 by Nerve
Missing info.

[lolablue17]

It's OVER! You have nothing to do about it.

 

Collect yourself and move on. Send her a text asking when and how is she giving you your money back. Direct, practical, productive. That's it.

[Nerve]

Thanks for the reply, that is one of the options I was considering. Like I said I am just worried that I will regret no at least trying with her? Just not sure I can look back in 5 years and be happy that I didn't try?

[ExpatInItaly]

Relationships that begin when we are teenagers rarely last forever. It's a sad but very normal life step. We grow and change and aren't ready to commit to one person for the rest of our lives.

 

I would consider this well and truly over. You're right that it probably wasn't a decision made within three months. This has probably been brewing longer than that, which she may have denied even to herself. I've been in her shoes, at her age, and I felt terrible knowing I was growing further and further apart from my ex-boyfriend. I tried to convince myself that perhaps it was just a phase or external factors. I also tried to put on a happy face and go through the motions of the relationship, trying to keep up a normal appearance. Why? I thought if I kept behaving normally then eventually I would feel the way I once had about him. Silly thinking process, yes. But I was younger and less experienced then.

 

I would proceed with no intentions of reconciliation. That's not to say it's impossible, but waiting X number of days isn't relevant, really. Trying to establish a positive relationship with her isn't going to help either. It would need to be the other way around. If it's not coming from her, on her own volition, it's quite futile. If she's not into you anymore, then getting a friendly message from you won't change that. If anything, she'll probably just feel relieved that you don't hate her for ending it. But it won't provoke a change of heart. She might, with time and space away from you, change her mind. It does happen occasionally, though usually after both parties have dated other people and got some more experience. I wouldn't move forward based on that hope, though. It will keep you stuck.

 

As far as the money, I wouldn't hold your breath. You can certainly attempt to collect it by reminding her it wasn't a gift and that you expect it back by X date, but I doubt you will see it. It's been 3 years since you gave it to her. Had you asked for it back prior to this?

[petroff]

I don't want you to be worried but I smell another guy in this. You see, it's difficult for somebody to break-up because of insecurity. You don't know what it's gonna be like without your partner. And she broke up out of blue and doesn't care anymore which might mean she already has somebody but she won't tell you because she's over with you and she doesn't have to tell you.

 

My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago also out of blue and week later she was already sleeping with her co-worker and meeting up with her previous ex-bf. The only thing you can do is to let go. Don't beg or anything. Have dignity and self respect.

[Nerve]

Thanks for all the advice. Yeah at the time of lending it was agreed she would pay it back when and as she could, as in £100 a month etc. This never came to be but we always agreed that money was still outstanding, but with me loving the girl I took it easy and thought we will sort it when we are both living more comfortably etc. See I understand that its usually the case with teenage to adult relationships, however throughout the relationship she was always the one bringing up commitment, marriage, children etc. Always stating "I dont know what I would do without you" even stating this within the last 3 months. See I saw it as shes thought about it the opposite way that she has thought about it less than 3 months as it really feels like a rushed decision. I am certain that she is aware she needs to pay the money back and I need collect valuable things, how should I go about that?

[ExpatInItaly]

]I don't want you to be worried but I smell another guy in this. [/b]You see, it's difficult for somebody to break-up because of insecurity. You don't know what it's gonna be like without your partner. And she broke up out of blue and doesn't care anymore which might mean she already has somebody but she won't tell you because she's over with you and she doesn't have to tell you.

 

My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago also out of blue and week later she was already sleeping with her co-worker and meeting up with her previous ex-bf. The only thing you can do is to let go. Don't beg or anything. Have dignity and self respect.

 

This is also quite possible.

 

I have seen this several times, when the person wasn't sure if the new crush would work out or not, so they stayed in their existing relationships until they got a clearer signal that the crush was also interested.

 

Most of the dumped parties never see this coming, and refuse to believe their exes were capable of it. But it can and does happen. I speak from experience too, having been the betrayed partner. I never would have imagined my ex (not the same one from my other post in this thread) being able to do something like that...until he did.

 

Sadly, this can also happen after years spent together. We might sense our partners aren't totally themselves, or they over-compensate out of guilt. Mine sure did! I never would have guessed until I got evidence I couldn't ignore.

[Nerve]

I don't want you to be worried but I smell another guy in this. You see, it's difficult for somebody to break-up because of insecurity. You don't know what it's gonna be like without your partner. And she broke up out of blue and doesn't care anymore which might mean she already has somebody but she won't tell you because she's over with you and she doesn't have to tell you.

 

My ex broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago also out of blue and week later she was already sleeping with her co-worker and meeting up with her previous ex-bf. The only thing you can do is to let go. Don't beg or anything. Have dignity and self respect.

See I also thought this, however when we spoke face to face she swore on her whole family (including a yet to be born niece) that there was no on else, or no one else in mind to move onto. I want to believe her due to the severity of that promise but at the same time the way she has acted makes me doubt her.

[ExpatInItaly]

Thanks for all the advice. Yeah at the time of lending it was agreed she would pay it back when and as she could, as in £100 a month etc. This never came to be but we always agreed that money was still outstanding, but with me loving the girl I took it easy and thought we will sort it when we are both living more comfortably etc. See I understand that its usually the case with teenage to adult relationships, however throughout the relationship she was always the one bringing up commitment, marriage, children etc. Always stating "I dont know what I would do without you" even stating this within the last 3 months. See I saw it as shes thought about it the opposite way that she has thought about it less than 3 months as it really feels like a rushed decision. I am certain that she is aware she needs to pay the money back and I need collect valuable things, how should I go about that?

 

See what I wrote in my other post about over-compensation. It happens a lot, crazy as it may seem. The dumpers are often trying to convince themselves that they're not falling out of love because they are afraid of what the

implications of that are.

 

But actions speak louder than words. Words are quite meaningless when they're not supported by consistent actions. I don't think this was a rushed decision on her end. It usually isn't, even if you didn't realize it.

 

As for getting your money back, I would send her a message telling her you would like to speak about repayment. Explain that since you are no longer a couple, that money needs to be repaid now. And not in installments. If you bought the TV, tell her you can arrange for someone to pick it up from her place (a mutual friend, perhaps?) She will probably not react well to this, but that isn't your problem anymore. Again, I doubt you will get the money but you can reclaim your TV.

[ExpatInItaly]

See I also thought this, however when we spoke face to face she swore on her whole family (including a yet to be born niece) that there was no on else, or no one else in mind to move onto. I want to believe her due to the severity of that promise but at the same time the way she has acted makes me doubt her.

 

That means nothing, OP. I hate to burst your bubble, but people will say just about anything to avoid painting themselves in a bad light. Even the people we once trusted most. My ex - who by all accounts was an honest and decent man - swore up and down there wasn't another woman. I already knew there was. I just hadn't yet presented the evidence to him. I gave him a chance to come clean and at least not lie to me, and he blew it.

 

There might not be another guy, she might have been totally honest about that. But her "swearing" on it doesn't mean squat. Also, even if there was someone else, it's probably best that you know as little as possible about it anyway.

[Nerve]

See what I wrote in my other post about over-compensation. It happens a lot, crazy as it may seem. The dumpers are often trying to convince themselves that they're not falling out of love because they are afraid of what the

implications of that are.

 

But actions speak louder than words. Words are quite meaningless when they're not supported by consistent actions. I don't think this was a rushed decision on her end. It usually isn't, even if you didn't realize it.

 

As for getting your money back, I would send her a message telling her you would like to speak about repayment. Explain that since you are no longer a couple, that money needs to be repaid now. And not in installments. If you bought the TV, tell her you can arrange for someone to pick it up from her place (a mutual friend, perhaps?) She will probably not react well to this, but that isn't your problem anymore. Again, I doubt you will get the money but you can reclaim your TV.

Unfortunately I think I would have to go pick it up myself due to the different cities its unlikely I can find someone who can sort it out for me. I am understanding that I need to let this go and I dont mean to sound like I am disregarding the advice but I forgot one thing. When it happened and we spoke she said "You will always be my best friend and I do still love and care about you, I do not want to lose contact with you as I am not ruling us out in the future but I know that with other ex's you never keep contact (which is true) so I will leave it up to you if you want to keep contact and see where this goes" I just feel like shes breaking up with me but not at the same time and she has completely left the ball in my court to see where it goes etc? Again sorry I am just so confused

[ExpatInItaly]

Unfortunately I think I would have to go pick it up myself due to the different cities its unlikely I can find someone who can sort it out for me. I am understanding that I need to let this go and I dont mean to sound like I am disregarding the advice but I forgot one thing. When it happened and we spoke she said "You will always be my best friend and I do still love and care about you, I do not want to lose contact with you as I am not ruling us out in the future but I know that with other ex's you never keep contact (which is true) so I will leave it up to you if you want to keep contact and see where this goes" I just feel like shes breaking up with me but not at the same time and she has completely left the ball in my court to see where it goes etc? Again sorry I am just so confused

 

She means in terms of being friends.

 

She didn't leave the ball in your court regarding being a couple. She took the ball of that court already.

 

A lot dumpers promise to remain friends and always love the other person, but in my experience, it rarely actually works out that way. And that is usually for the best, believe me! The dumped party can more easily move on if friendship is off the table. For the dumper, being friends is generally an empty promise but also a much easier to one to make, since they usually already emotionally detached by the time they end things. It isn't so hard for them to remain friends, for that very reason.

 

Case in point: I ran into my ex while out my (then) new boyfriend. This ex was the one with whom I'd tried to "make" my feelings come back. I broke up with him in the summer of that year, and being a small town, my new boyfriend and I bumped into my ex and his date at a pub the following Fall. Introductions were made, a bit of small talk between the 4 of us. For me, this was no problem and there was no jealousy on my end. I was happy he'd met someone else, in fact. My romantic interest was long gone by then so I was totally fine meeting his new girl and seeing them together.

Edited October 16, 2016 by ExpatInItaly

[Nerve]

She means in terms of being friends.

 

She didn't leave the ball in your court regarding being a couple. She took the ball of that court already.

 

A lot dumpers promise to remain friends and always love the other person, but in my experience, it rarely actually works out that way. And that is usually for the best, believe me! The dumped party can more easily move on if friendship is off the table. For the dumper, being friends is generally an empty promise but also a much easier to one to make, since they usually already emotionally detached by the time they end things. It isn't so hard for them to remain friends, for that very reason.

 

Case in point: I ran into my ex while out my (then) new boyfriend. This ex was the one with whom I'd tried to "make" my feelings come back. I broke up with him in the summer of that year, and being a small town, my new boyfriend and I bumped into my ex and his date at a pub the following Fall. Introductions were made, a bit of small talk between the 4 of us. For me, this was no problem and there was no jealousy on my end. I was happy he'd met someone else, in fact. My romantic interest was long gone by then so I was totally fine meeting his new girl and seeing them together.

That's the thing I cant remain friends, I am well aware of this. I just cant help but think I have not even tried to fight for the girl. I know the best advice is to probably just not try and move on because its her decision. I am honestly just terrified I will look back in years to come and think why didnt I even try? I mean yeah moving on now will spare me the pain of a second rejection but is that worth a much longer period of regret? Also I should of been more clear when she was talking about the future she stated she wasnt ruling us getting back together out in future, this makes me feel like I am the second option or back up plan and also possibly a way to keep me sweet to prevent me pushing for money and belongings to be returned?

[petroff]

ExpatInItaly has got a point. She wouldn't want to put bad light on her face so don't expect her to tell you all the truth.

[ExpatInItaly]

That's the thing I cant remain friends, I am well aware of this. I just cant help but think I have not even tried to fight for the girl. I know the best advice is to probably just not try and move on because its her decision. I am honestly just terrified I will look back in years to come and think why didnt I even try? I mean yeah moving on now will spare me the pain of a second rejection but is that worth a much longer period of regret? Also I should of been more clear when she was talking about the future she stated she wasnt ruling us getting back together out in future, this makes me feel like I am the second option or back up plan and also possibly a way to keep me sweet to prevent me pushing for money and belongings to be returned?

 

Yes, exactly. I understood what you meant. Dumpers often say these things because A) They want to keep the door open in case their new interest doesn't work out, or B) It is their misguided attempt to soften the blow for the dumpee.

 

I know I foolishly said the same thing to my ex, for reason B. I saw how hurt he was and in an attempt to ease it, I told him that maybe someday we might have a chance. Were I more mature and aware of the false hope this gives someone, I never would have said it at all.

 

Fighting for her would make more sense if you had done something hurtful that brought about the end of the relationship. If you'd said nasty things or cheated or something, then it is logical that you could also attempt to repair it. If you'd been a slacker of a boyfriend and she'd warned you she was growing weary of it, then it may have been possible to make the appropriate changes to win her back. That's not the case here, though. It's not really possible to fight for someone who simply isn't into it anymore.

 

That's not to say you can't feel her out, but I don't think it's going to yield the result you're looking for. Only she knows what is in her heart and mind, though. I'm just speculating based on my personal previous experiences.

[Nerve]

Yes, exactly. I understood what you meant. Dumpers often say these things because A) They want to keep the door open in case their new interest doesn't work out, or B) It is their misguided attempt to soften the blow for the dumpee.

 

I know I foolishly said the same thing to my ex, for reason B. I saw how hurt he was and in an attempt to ease it, I told him that maybe someday we might have a chance. Were I more mature and aware of the false hope this gives someone, I never would have said it at all.

 

Fighting for her would make more sense if you had done something hurtful that brought about the end of the relationship. If you'd said nasty things or cheated or something, then it is logical that you could also attempt to repair it. If you'd been a slacker of a boyfriend and she'd warned you she was growing weary of it, then it may have been possible to make the appropriate changes to win her back. That's not the case here, though. It's not really possible to fight for someone who simply isn't into it anymore.

 

That's not to say you can't feel her out, but I don't think it's going to yield the result you're looking for. Only she knows what is in her heart and mind, though. I'm just speculating based on my personal previous experiences.

Thing is I am not sure if she did see me as a slacker of a boyfriend due it taking some time for myself to find work after University, however this was mainly because I was looking to move to the city she was in and obviously this narrowed down possibilities. Like I said I have since found work there, whether I am going to take it and move there is another issue. I do feel as though I allowed things to go stale towards the end now that I look back in hindsight, also my final year of studies were insane which lead to me falling out of exercising, I was in pretty great shape when we met then went somewhere between average and poor. Like I said my life has shifted back, in all honesty due to this. Its been a real wake up call and part of me wants her to see it and see if it is enough, but as you said it may not be right?

[ExpatInItaly]

If she felt you were slacking off in your attention and affection toward her, she probably would have told you as much. Or at least she likely would have cited it as a contributing factor to the end of the relationship. So I don't think that's the reason here.

 

It sounds to me likely she genuinely outgrew the relationship and is looking to explore and experience new things.

[Nerve]

It was not so much as me slacking in affection etc, I feel it may of been more she felt like I was slacking with myself. As in I was not pushing myself enough or striving for my life goals enough, if that makes any sense?

[ExpatInItaly]

It was not so much as me slacking in affection etc, I feel it may of been more she felt like I was slacking with myself. As in I was not pushing myself enough or striving for my life goals enough, if that makes any sense?

 

Yes, that makes sense.

 

But chances are that if this really bothered her to the point of wanting to break up, she'd have told you that. That likely would have come up at some point before she ended it.

[Nerve]

Yes, that makes sense.

 

But chances are that if this really bothered her to the point of wanting to break up, she'd have told you that. That likely would have come up at some point before she ended it.

See you would think so, the thing is one of her flaws is she really struggles with emotions and expressing those emotions. That is what makes me think it could be that and instead of actually dealing with or addressing the problem she has just gone for the nuclear option, may be wishful thinking on my part but her personality would lead to such a step.

[petroff]

Dude, just leave this..If she wants to get back with you she will contact you. You can't force her towards any decision, you can't influence her decision. You can't explain to her.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you seem to be bent on trying to regain control of this break-up by assuming it was about something you did or didn't do. I can understand that, it's a normal response to a sudden break-up. We twist ourselves into mental pretzels, searching for answers and assuming there must be something we can do to make it alright again.

 

Go ahead and give it a shot if you must. Just don't be too shocked if you get a neutral or negative response.

[Nerve]

UPDATE

 

So I recently went for a job interview job that was in her city (which I was planning to move to anyway). I got offered the job and I (probably stupidly) decided to go see her as my emotions were running high from the stress of the interview and the joy of success. So during my no contact period I have been extremely active, gym 5 days a week, swimming, MMA and running. She immediately noticed a difference in me when she saw me. We started talking for the most part of the conversation it was pleasant with some laughing/joking. However I (again stupidly) asked her for the reason why she could not talk to me about our issues before executing our relationship, she said she was so sorry she did not and that she has no good excuse. I then told her about all of the success I was having in life in terms of fitness and career prospects, I told her I am a changed person and that the results are evidence of that, she retorted with these changes have only been present a month, this caught me off guard as if she did not care about me at all now why would she kick my accomplishments down? She then started to get upset/angry claiming that she was frustrated that it took this to make me into the person she knew I could be and always wanted me to be. Going onto ask why was she not enough when we were together to motivate me to lead this life? I told her that she was but I was complacent and I can understand her frustrations around my previous life style. This again led to confusion as I am/was not sure why she would be frustrated if she in fact had no feelings for me anymore? I may be wrong on all this and clinging but it felt like it pointed to if I prove that I am this changed person (which I really am and plan to continue to be) there may be something there? Again I do not want to live in hope for her and know I need to let go the NEED for her and see if I still WANT her when my self improvements continue.

 

It got to a point where she admitted that a big reason for the break up was my lack of ambition, she told me she discussed it with her mother after the breakup and she agreed that I lacked ambition and drive. Basically I am not sure if me going to see her caused more harm than good? I know it broke the no contact etc but she saw my new ambition and drive, she knows that I have just been given an amazing job where I am out shining her in my first year. She said she would love to stay in contact as friends, I told her I do not think that is a good idea as I still want more that that and do not want to be "friend zoned" to which she replied with a story about her brother and his now wife breaking up and staying in touch and now they are married. This again made me think why is she telling me this story unless she really does see a future? (I over analyse everything I know) My departure was amicable with a hug on the door step and her giving me a kiss on the cheek, where she said (in a joking manner) "You only came here to show off huh? Go out there and make me proud".

 

So yeah basically I know going to see her was stupid, it gave me answers but has also made me more confused about our future, she finally said she would love to keep in touch and she still is not ruling us out (I know I cant live on this). One final issue is that she mentioned the money that she owed me and I told her well ideally I would like it back in a lump sum as it was lent as a lump sum, she stated if I did that she would be forced to move out of her apartment when her lease expired and move into a 8 person house share which would cause her huge stress with work etc, however last night she posted pictures online of her out drinking etc. Basically do I stay the nice guy and support her while she is struggling financially at the risk of being stepped on, or do I take back the money and probably forever attach myself to negative connotations?

Edited October 23, 2016 by Nerve

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, stop trying so hard to be the nice guy.

 

Get your money back. Her financial stress is not your problem anymore. You aren't her boyfriend and it isn't your role to support her. She made that choice when she declined to pay you back and then ended the relationship.

 

Then, go No Contact. Real No Contact. As you can see, going to see her led to more confusion. Sure, she is frustrated that you only changed when she left you. That's normal. But unless and until she says she wants to try again, she is out testing waters as a single woman and there is no guarantee she won't meet someone else.

 

It's great that you are making positive changes. Do it for you. Avoid the temptation to run after her and try to show her. She now knows you're heading in a better direction; if she wants to give it a shot again, you will know. I can see why her comments are confusing to you, but you can only act based on the current status, which is that she doesn't want to be more than friends right now.

[Nerve]

Thing is I am not TRYING to be the nice guy, it is just my human natures. I hate to see people struggle and would not like to put that sort of strain on anyone. I get told I am too soft/nice for my own good and therefore allow people to walk all over me (as may be the case here).

 

I understand her frustration I really do but surely if you had 0 feelings for someone as she claims you would not get visibly upset over their self improvements, you would be indifferent?

 

Thing is these self improvements are for me, as if I was not actively pushing myself into these things I would of gone bat **** insane by now, no joke. Yeah you make a good point in acting on the current status but it hurts like hell when I see pictures of her out drinking/partying for two reasons. Firstly I see how good she looks and I let that get away, secondly she admits to owing me this money yet is spending money on alcohol rather than denting the debt. I forgot to mention that when I went to see her she was in her apartment with two layers of clothes on in order to keep warm as she could not afford to turn on her heating, she had no idea I was coming and therefore it could not be a pity act but kicking her while she is obviously down is not in my human nature.

 

Do you think she is taking me for a fool?