tito1501 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 When me and my girlfriend are together it is all great (we live together). But everytime she is away I start demanding attention from her. For example, now she is working in a fair in another country (for 5 days) .. and if I send her a message and do not get a reply within lets say 30 minutes, I start to feel uncomfortable. I start thinking like: why dont she reply? Is it that difficult to check the phone every half an hour or every hour? Dont she know ai am here by myself? I will see some friends today but I feel so ****. I am tired of this feeling. I sent her a message one hour ago and no reply. I mean, I just know that it is possible to send a message if you want to. How can I overcome this? I need to.
Bito Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Why do you need her attention constently? No person can be available at all times. Are you scared she's being unfaithful? I would address your own insecurities instead of blaming her for not responding fast enough. You will be by yourself sometimes, nothing wrong with that.
basil67 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 You overcome it by reminding yourself that you're being too needy. Make an agreement a reasonable amount of contact while she's gone and stick to it. If you don't send random texts, you won't get upset if she doesn't respond. For example, when my husband is away, he will call me of an early evening before he goes out for dinner. If I miss the call, I know he I'll try again later that night or the next evening depending on how busy he is.
BaileyB Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Find something to do to keep yourself busy and take your mind off your girlfriend. She will be home soon, but you need to learn to manage your anxiety while she is away.
preraph Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I'm glad you understand that this is your problem and shouldn't be hers. It's insecurity. It probably has nothing to do with her but just comes from your childhood and what you came to expect from people or fear from people. If you really want to do something about it and take that load off yourself of always feeling like that, get into therapy with a psychologist for awhile and see where it came from and then you can start working on it. Good luck!
thecrucible Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Hey, I know how you feel. I think it's more loneliness than neediness because of the fact you're aware of it (really needy people don't tend to be as self-aware). The key is to keep busy and if you don't have enough going on to do that at the moment, then start building on it. I used to feel lonely (especially at night). Now I've started a few volunteering activities through the week I really appreciate my evenings to myself. You could organise one activity for an evening during the days she is away working - like a gig or comedy night or something with friends. That way you can look forward to doing that and it might help a bit.
caringsister Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 You said she is working in a fair. "Working" My daughter does work with fairs. It is go go go. No time for texting. I don't hear a peep starting a couple days before the fair, nothing during the fair and then about four days afterward she gets in touch. Relax and chill out. Hang out with friends, keep yourself busy and no doubt you'll hear from her when she has a chance.
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