Jacob1 Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I don't expect sympathy here but I left my wife some months ago for the younger woman, 19 to be precice. I cheated on my wife on and off for 3 years with tne same woman buy the reality is different when she moved in. She's demanding, insecure totally on my case. She wants marriage and a family almost immediatelly. I never had children with my wife, we were together for over 20 years. She wanted kids but I didn't at the time, now she can't. I was considering having children with the new woman but I just don't know, it's the pressure. My wife is devastated. I want her back but dont know what to do. I miss her warmth, patience and kindness but I'm torn. I have great sex with the new woman but will it pass. Am I making the right choice?
dreamingoftigers Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I don't expect sympathy here but I left my wife some months ago for the younger woman, 19 to be precice. I cheated on my wife on and off for 3 years with tne same woman buy the reality is different when she moved in. She's demanding, insecure totally on my case. She wants marriage and a family almost immediatelly. I never had children with my wife, we were together for over 20 years. She wanted kids but I didn't at the time, now she can't. I was considering having children with the new woman but I just don't know, it's the pressure. My wife is devastated. I want her back but dont know what to do. I miss her warmth, patience and kindness but I'm torn. I have great sex with the new woman but will it pass. Am I making the right choice? Didn't you already make a thread and everyone pretty much said they hoped that your wife moved on? I hope she did or does. You just keep on with that "great sex." It cost enough, right? 6
Satu Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 (edited) As things stand, I don't see you as a positive presence in either of these women's lives. Do you? What do you feel you have to offer? Fidelity seems to be off the menu. Marriage seems to be off the menu. Children seem to be off the menu. So what is on the menu? Edited October 16, 2016 by Satu 5
Blanco Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I don't expect sympathy here but I left my wife some months ago for the younger woman, 19 to be precice. I cheated on my wife on and off for 3 years with tne same woman buy the reality is different when she moved in. She's demanding, insecure totally on my case. She wants marriage and a family almost immediatelly. I never had children with my wife, we were together for over 20 years. She wanted kids but I didn't at the time, now she can't. I was considering having children with the new woman but I just don't know, it's the pressure. My wife is devastated. I want her back but dont know what to do. I miss her warmth, patience and kindness but I'm torn. I have great sex with the new woman but will it pass. Am I making the right choice? To be frank, who cares what's right for you? You've spent years doing what was best for you with no real consideration if that was what was also best for your wife. And you only want her back now because you realized that the grass isn't always greener and that most 19-year-olds are morons. Be a man and give your wife a chance at happiness, something I doubt she would ever be able to find with you again. 6
ExpatInItaly Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 You cheated for 3 years with this 19-year-old - meaning she was just 16 when you two started messing around? Am I understanding this correctly? 3
Kelley Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 You chose a 19 year old kid over your wife. Sure the sex is great at the start of any relationship, but it takes a lot more than that to keep a relationship going! The 19 year old is a kid in my eyes, will be infatuated, wanting a kid to keep you. Don't get her pregnant and wreck her life when you leave her! Your wife is hopefully moving on, and is well rid of you. You have been selfish for years, try thinking of your wife for a change, leave her alone to move on with her life. 2
Satu Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 She won't be 19 forever. She will grow into a more empowered individual, more trusting of her own perceptions, clearer about her own needs and wants. I don't see that working out very well for you, OP. She wants marriage and children. She won't wait forever. And she shouldn't. 1
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Who says it's your choice? Your wife is the one who gets to choose. 2
aloneinaz Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I hope this guy made this story up. If not, WOW.. simply wow.... 2
dreamingoftigers Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 OP, I'm not sure you'll find much help from people to manipulate your wife, whom you don't visibly care about, back into a relationship with you. Why would we wish such harm on your wife? You wish to go back to her because your current lust-target isn't exactly what you wanted. Not because you gave any (visible) regard for your wife or her feelings. Given the fact that I also have a self-absorbed husband who just couldn't grasp that cheating is destroying not just our marriage, but my life.... My advice to you is to learn to govern your own happiness and find a moral center. You clearly lack both traits. I am not kidding. Seriously Google "building morals, creating a moral code to live by" etc. And "internal locus of control." And start taking care of yourself inna meaningful way. Then start thinking of what others must experience and how you can be someone that CONTRIBUTES into their lives, not so you can 'gain' or what you can 'get from them.' But how you can actually contribute in a meaningful way to another's well-being. These are often extremely difficult concepts for 'takers' such as yourself. 1
Author Jacob1 Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 Ok I know it sounds bad but I am so confused. I told my wife that I hadn't loved her for years. I am a fool a stupid fool. I just fantasised about an alternative life for years but I made a mistake. I feel depressed, not expressing myself well. I don't know how to function properly. I feel disgusted with myself and can't approach her because of the brutal way I went about things. She is not 19, she is 19:years younger than me. I was loyal and devoted to my wife for 23 years it's the last 3 that I went into crisis but I don't know how to start the conversation. I feel dreadful. Yes I admit the mistress made me feel alive and everything but she's not a patch on my lovely wife but I'm stuck in a rut of dispare. God what have I done.
fromheart Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Ok I know it sounds bad but I am so confused. I told my wife that I hadn't loved her for years. I am a fool a stupid fool. I just fantasised about an alternative life for years but I made a mistake. I feel depressed, not expressing myself well. I don't know how to function properly. I feel disgusted with myself and can't approach her because of the brutal way I went about things. She is not 19, she is 19:years younger than me. I was loyal and devoted to my wife for 23 years it's the last 3 that I went into crisis but I don't know how to start the conversation. I feel dreadful. Yes I admit the mistress made me feel alive and everything but she's not a patch on my lovely wife but I'm stuck in a rut of dispare. God what have I done. You're not really in a position to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I'd advise stepping back from both women, for their sake as well as your own, and just work on yourself. Be honest with your wife about everything, respect whatever decision she makes. Start the self work now, don't delay. 4
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Ok I know it sounds bad but I am so confused. I told my wife that I hadn't loved her for years. I am a fool a stupid fool. I just fantasised about an alternative life for years but I made a mistake. I feel depressed, not expressing myself well. I don't know how to function properly. I feel disgusted with myself and can't approach her because of the brutal way I went about things. She is not 19, she is 19:years younger than me. I was loyal and devoted to my wife for 23 years it's the last 3 that I went into crisis but I don't know how to start the conversation. I feel dreadful. Yes I admit the mistress made me feel alive and everything but she's not a patch on my lovely wife but I'm stuck in a rut of dispare. God what have I done. Welcome to discovering that the grass is greener where you water it. You didn't "make a mistake." You made a deliberate series of choices to betray your wife. Now what kind of love is that? 1
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Ok I know it sounds bad but I am so confused. I told my wife that I hadn't loved her for years. I am a fool a stupid fool. I just fantasised about an alternative life for years but I made a mistake. I feel depressed, not expressing myself well. I don't know how to function properly. I feel disgusted with myself and can't approach her because of the brutal way I went about things. She is not 19, she is 19:years younger than me. I was loyal and devoted to my wife for 23 years it's the last 3 that I went into crisis but I don't know how to start the conversation. I feel dreadful. Yes I admit the mistress made me feel alive and everything but she's not a patch on my lovely wife but I'm stuck in a rut of dispare. God what have I done. It seems only that you used your mistress to get laid an escape your wife. Now, it seems that you want to use your wife to escape your mistress. Maybe stop getting your dick stuck in traps to begin with and you won't have this issue.
ChickiePops Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Ok I know it sounds bad but I am so confused. I told my wife that I hadn't loved her for years. I am a fool a stupid fool. I just fantasised about an alternative life for years but I made a mistake. I feel depressed, not expressing myself well. I don't know how to function properly. I feel disgusted with myself and can't approach her because of the brutal way I went about things. She is not 19, she is 19:years younger than me. I was loyal and devoted to my wife for 23 years it's the last 3 that I went into crisis but I don't know how to start the conversation. I feel dreadful. Yes I admit the mistress made me feel alive and everything but she's not a patch on my lovely wife but I'm stuck in a rut of dispare. God what have I done. You should be disgusted with yourself. Leave your soon to be ex-wife alone, you've done enough. 2
Noideanow Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Could it be you should not have a romantic relationship with any of them? maybe she just helped you get out of your marriage but you two are not truly compatible? 2
Redhead14 Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I don't expect sympathy here but I left my wife some months ago for the younger woman, 19 to be precice. I cheated on my wife on and off for 3 years with tne same woman buy the reality is different when she moved in. She's demanding, insecure totally on my case. She wants marriage and a family almost immediatelly. I never had children with my wife, we were together for over 20 years. She wanted kids but I didn't at the time, now she can't. I was considering having children with the new woman but I just don't know, it's the pressure. My wife is devastated. I want her back but dont know what to do. I miss her warmth, patience and kindness but I'm torn. I have great sex with the new woman but will it pass. Am I making the right choice? Well, put yourself in your ex-wife's shoes . . . she cheated on you for 3 years with a 19 year old guy. What would she have to do to get you back? Yeah, all she'd have to do is give you a BJ, right? Unless she is a damaged woman herself, she wouldn't give you a water bottle if you were on fire . . . 1
Recommended Posts