joel Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 ok with u guys do u usually make small talk about the course u both are taking togther and then maybe after a while of just being casual aquintances and nothing more-just the girl u see in class and , ask the girl you like out , or do u guys be freinds first with the girl and then ask her out. the last time i asked a gal out was the first method made small talk and guess what it blew in my face, i asked her out right after our class to go have a cup of coffee with me and she said no maybe anpother time, 3 days later she told everyone in my class-college i got these smirks and smiles -it was embarassing too considereing the college i go to is small. everyone nows everyone-pretty much. and guess what i didn't even say anyhthing sexual or unappropriate -jsut cas converstions about her courses she was taking my freind said i scared the girl off by going too fast and asking the girl out right away, as i should have gotten to now her more first as a person. any thoughts guys what do u guys do if u like a girl in one of ur classes. funny thing is the same girl had 1 class with me in the previous semester and also in other semesters too was always looking at me , she never went up to me and talked to me. i took the glances and looks as interested motions-yea but then why would she say NO then funny hey.
Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 in college classes- study time together is one way- the coffee thing is another. I'd say study time really- cause thats where you CAN go get coffee and you can always change subjects as your studying or after. The more direct way of asking out for coffee shows more balls in my opinion. at least you know right then and there they are/arent interested. as for direct eye contact... lol maybe i'm not paying attention in my real life.. but i have girls look over at me all the time- but usually just because they're looking around the room. I have one girl who I make eye contact ALL the time... and yet I sense no other interest at all. (ya need girls to ask you questions about what shes doing physically- besides eye contact lol)
SunnySG Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Asking a girl out doesn't have to be that difficult. I have nervously asked out a guy or two in my day, and the thing I always used to tell myself right before is this: "The worst thing that can happen is they'll say 'No'." Just keep repeating this to yourself, and you won't be disappointed. Well, I mean, you probably will be, but it won't be as bad - not that you should set yourself up for disappointement, but you should be prepared just in case. Anyways.... Here's what you should remember: 1 - Be confident. Even if you're shaking inside. You're fun. People like you. 2 - Approach and timing are everything. Is she in a good mood? What's her body language? Does she like to rush out of class (you don't want to chase her)? Is she surrounded by people (you don't want an audience)? Have you seen her outside of class (I didn't really pick up on too many details in your thread)? Here are some good date suggestions for the college crowd: 1 - Studying (been there, done that...kind of a cop out) 2 - Coffee Shop (safe, safe, safe) 3 - Movies (loved going to movies as a date) THEN you can get coffee and talk about the movie. 4 - Walk up to/around/through local scenic attraction - My campus had "The Bluffs" 5- Ice Cream (perfect time of year for this!) Quick, fun, get to know you but not a huge "committment" i.e - UnScary, friendly date The Players.. You (looking a notch better than your normal self) Her (cute as usual) The Approach... You - (Casually sauntering over) "Hey Becky." Her - "Hey Steve" or "What was your name again?" You - "Listen, I was hoping I could take you for ice cream later. Would you be up for that?" Her - (She tilts her head pondering the question - a smile lights up her face) "That sounds like fun." You - "Good. Let me take your number then we can set something up." Her - "Sure, it's blah blah blah...." You - "Great, well, I'll call you later."
Author joel Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 i think hte part i screwed up was i asked her out right like right after class-maybe she had something to do after class like work or something right. i didn't take that part into consideration. also i didn't go for her # and ask for sometime. yea rookie mistake. anywas i mean can u ask a girl u like anywhere like lets say i see a gal i am attracted to right- do u ask her out right away or do u small talk her first and this and that. ah being a guy sucks so much work and pursuing.
SunnySG Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Okay. I agree that being a guy must suck. But, unless you take risks, nothing will happen. Good or bad, right? As for whether or not you can just ask out a girl without idly chit chatting her.... Do you know this girl? Because even if you know her casually, I would say that you really don't have to make small talk first. However, if you just spot her in, say, a bar, then you should make an effort to get to know her first. After all, she could be a wacko. And you want her to know you're not a wacko either. As for the topics of this idle chit chat, the following works best for girls/woman: 1- Find something about her that you can compliment her on. But make it SINCERE & hopefully unique. If she has pretty blue eyes, chances are she's heard "You're eyes are so beautiful" ten thousand times. Right? So, go for something like... "That's a great necklace/earrings/bracelet." or "Your perfume smells really nice. Is that something you wear often?" Girls get primped up for other woman and of course men. Guys rarely comment on the less obvious efforts that we woman make. And when they do, it's the best feeling. But unless it's sincere, don't bother. 2- Observations about the location you both happen to be in. "Wow this bar is crowded/dead tonight. Is it always like this?" 3- Ask her about herself. "So, are you originally from here?" Where does she work? "What's it like to work there?" "So, seen any good movies lately?" "Anything exciting going on this weekend?" The trick is to ask questions that she can't just say Yes or No to. This is a general rule though for most every conversation between anyone you're trying to get to know. You have to ask Open Ended Questions or the the conversation DIES before it starts. Snore. So you're going to ask out a girl. You know her sort of, but you're attracted to her. Do you feel a connection with her? Do you get the sense she's connecting with you? - Leaning forward while talking to you, touching your arm, SMILING SMILING SMILING, blushing, giggling - those are all good signs. Signs that AREN'T good - looking over your shoulder or looking everywhere but at you while you're talking, nodding and agreeing with everything you say quickly and impatiently, she looks at you kindly with no flirtation. Okay. The same rules apply for girls you know well and girls you don't. We're all the same. Safe, fun, lighthearted first dates. And if she doesn't know you, the quick Ice Cream date works well because you can go out, grab a bite - if things are going well, go to the park, take a walk until you're done. But if you get there and it's just weird, well, how long did it really take? Half hour? And now you know, and you only spent $6.00. I can't tell you how many times I've been shot down by guys who weren't ready to date. You get over it and move on. You begin to know how to read people better before you put yourself out there. You're always going to feel vulnerable asking someone out - You win some and you loose some. Really, in the beginning it's like a damn game. Some girls play it, others don't. You need to watch out for the heavy hitters, too. Some girls make major sport of it.
justcallme23 Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 so i have this girl in my Psych class and i wana ask her out but i dont know anything about her so how do i approach her? i really like her so how do i make my first move? and another thing she is never alone i mean she is always with her lady ffriend. so if anyone can help me out that will be great.
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