PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 We've been dating on and off for 3 years. Every time I move on and start feeling better he contacts me claiming he misses me. It's always him to initiate. We were together 2 weeks ago and he just told me he loved me last week. I was playing around w my phone trying to see if I can make a heart sign (I can't it's and old android) to his old number. He's changed his number like at least times so I thought the number didn't work. He calls me and asks who it is, we go back and forth. I finally tell him my name and he says "wrong number" and hangs up on me. I will never ever ever take him back or help him ever again. I finally erased all our pics the whole bit. Deleted everything. I was the only one helping him when he was in jail. The only one! I just don't understand why he always pops up claiming he misses me like that only to disappear and now this. Well I also emailed the detectives and told them everything. Where he lives, what he does, who he does it with... I don't care anymore. He deserves to rot in jail with no one this time. I wanted to tell him so bad what I did but it's probably best to forget everything now and finally finally move on for good this time. 2
Zahara Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 He comes back because he knows you're always available to provide him with benefits when he needs it - sex, companionship, fun, etc. All he has to do is feed you words and you're on it. Plus you've taught him that you're okay with being treated as an option. 2
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 He comes back because he knows you're always available to provide him with benefits when he needs it - sex, companionship, fun, etc. All he has to do is feed you words and you're on it. Plus you've taught him that you're okay with being treated as an option. I get that too but in my mind I was proving that I was faithful and unlike the rest who would walk away and already be with someone else. I can't just bounce around like that and if I love someone it takes me a long long time. So I'm just stuck. But after this I'm done!! 1
Zahara Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 I get that too but in my mind I was proving that I was faithful and unlike the rest who would walk away and already be with someone else. I can't just bounce around like that and if I love someone it takes me a long long time. So I'm just stuck. But after this I'm done!! No, to someone like him you were proving your lack of self-respect and your inability to have boundaries. Staying in a relationship that's been countless times broken isn't about love. It's a toxic attachment. 2
stillafool Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Well I also emailed the detectives and told them everything. Where he lives, what he does, who he does it with... I don't care anymore. He deserves to rot in jail with no one this time. I wanted to tell him so bad what I did but it's probably best to forget everything now and finally finally move on for good this time. You really have no one to blame for your situation but yourself for getting involved with an 'on and off for 3 yr criminal bf'. While I agree his behavior is terrible; I hate a snitch.
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 No, to someone like him you were proving your lack of self-respect and your inability to have boundaries. Staying in a relationship that's been countless times broken isn't about love. It's a toxic attachment. I know but I was also following suit. He was always so worried about me being faithful when I didn't believe in cheating whatsoever. It takes time to trust and believe someone. It also takes time for love to grow.
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 You really have no one to blame for your situation but yourself for getting involved with an 'on and off for 3 yr criminal bf'. While I agree his behavior is terrible; I hate a snitch. Oh well I couldn't take it anymore and he's a scumbag. He thinks it's endearing to be considered "dangerous" and people like him think nothing of hurting innocent hard working people. And I hate evil heartless people who hurt other people.
Zahara Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I know but I was also following suit. He was always so worried about me being faithful when I didn't believe in cheating whatsoever. It takes time to trust and believe someone. It also takes time for love to grow. 3 years of on and off has nothing to do with trusting or believing. It's what breaks trust and belief. And love does not grow within an unhealthy relationship. Take off your rose colored glasses. You chose to drag yourself through this because you were afraid to let him go. Trust, belief and love does not breed in a volatile relationship. Focus on moving on. Work on your self-esteem. Make better choices. Stay NC. 2
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 No, to someone like him you were proving your lack of self-respect and your inability to have boundaries. Staying in a relationship that's been countless times broken isn't about love. It's a toxic attachment. And that is also wrong. I put down boundaries all the time and he know what I stood for and expected. I would always leave and he would process it and find me to let me know. I think having no self respect or boundaries is going from person to person and having casual sex with whoever. People you don't even know. It takes a long time to get to know someone and really know someone.
stillafool Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Oh well I couldn't take it anymore and he's a scumbag. He thinks it's endearing to be considered "dangerous" and people like him think nothing of hurting innocent hard working people. And I hate evil heartless people who hurt other people. Yet you wanted him for 3 years. 1
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 3 years of on and off has nothing to do with trusting or believing. It's what breaks trust and belief. And love does not grow within an unhealthy relationship. Take off your rose colored glasses. You chose to drag yourself through this because you were afraid to let him go. Trust, belief and love does not breed in a volatile relationship. Focus on moving on. Work on your self-esteem. Make better choices. Stay NC.[/quote Thank you, that's exactly what I am doing. It's amazing how NC lessens the pain as the days go by.
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 Yet you wanted him for 3 years. I really did! It was fun at times he made me laugh and smile and I felt alive and could be myself with him. It was exciting. I felt that we had a special connection that every time we separated it was still there. I thought about him day and night and I didn't want nobody but him. And then there was how I would express standards and break it off and he would come back and try. Like when I changed my number and he showed up at my house. I said "I did that to straighten you out, did it work?" and he said, "Am i here?" Things like that. Why would you walk away when you have so much invested and things seem like their moving upward?" It's like a trap when you're invested it hurts to leave and it hurts to stay. But as time goes by the pain lessons.
aloneinaz Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I don't know here. Being vindictive by calling the police on him now that you believe it's over shows you have a double standard. You call him a scumbag and he deserves to rot in jail yet you were ok with his morals/values when you were together? It can open a whole new can of worms you won't like, especially with a criminal. It's the same thing when a women/man knowingly gets involved with a married person. They then get vindictive and tell the married person's spouse when they get rejected and stay with their husband/wife. I think you'd of been much better off simply ignoring his contact and moving on w/your life. 2
stillafool Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 I really did! It was fun at times he made me laugh and smile and I felt alive and could be myself with him. It was exciting. I felt that we had a special connection that every time we separated it was still there. I thought about him day and night and I didn't want nobody but him. And then there was how I would express standards and break it off and he would come back and try. Like when I changed my number and he showed up at my house. I said "I did that to straighten you out, did it work?" and he said, "Am i here?" Things like that. Why would you walk away when you have so much invested and things seem like their moving upward?" It's like a trap when you're invested it hurts to leave and it hurts to stay. But as time goes by the pain lessons. So you were okay with his criminal activity as long as he was with you. Now that he doesn't want you you'd rather see him in jail than with another woman. 1
Author PrincessWarrior1 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Posted October 16, 2016 (edited) So you were okay with his criminal activity as long as he was with you. Now that he doesn't want you you'd rather see him in jail than with another woman. No no I was definitely not okay with it and I let him know that I wasn't. That's why I kept leaving him because I was stressed out with his chaos and bull****. I'm an example of a life turned around. I was in jail and it straightened me out. I can see how people can get comfortable. So I thought by identifying with him and not judging him that I could get through and be an example of what life feels and looks like when you don't break the law and live simple and stress free. I started my life over 10 years ago. If you have depression or bipolar and you need medication. Then you have to address your illness the right way and not make it worse by self medicating with illegal drugs and drinking in excess. It's funny when you're on your medication and living right you don't need to drink and do drugs. Yeah once in a while it gets stressful but you deal with it the right way and it passes. Edited October 16, 2016 by PrincessWarrior1 1
Recommended Posts