JohnEarly Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Hello fellas, I really need a friendly advice here. My 2 year girlfriend just went to college, an Arts college (do not worry about the distance, I went to college to and its actually like 20 mins away, no problemo). She just starting going out with a group, mostly males, she said she isn't coping well with the females there. I've been noticing there's like 1 or 2 guys that are constantly liking her posts on Facebook/Instagram, and they're one of these she hangs out with. I do know she loves me, but damn, one of them is like, from a succesful band, is vegan (just like she is), it kinda looks like me, all that bs that makes girls like her interested on somebody. I just feel threatened as hell, because I really think this guy is getting interested on her, and something tells me I'll end up f*cked I've just started showing that this crap affects me, I just told her something sarcastic like "damn this guy really likes you" and went kinda ignoring because didnt felt like talking. She just keep telling me to trust her and that she loves me, but I mean... If the interest on this guy just borns, all that bs just goes away real quick. Am I being insecure and beta as hell by being so concerned about this? Or what the hell should i actually do?? Lets avoid the "break up" thing please. Thank you.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Break-up.....just kidding. Yeah, you are being insecure, but we all are insecure in some way. Not sure what that has to do with being alpha or beta. Designations that seem confusing to me and arbitrary. Those things that may attract her to someone is not BS, they're called 'common interests.' They are very important. For now, you should trust your gf. As long as you two see each other regularly and you're not intentionally pushing her away by being jealous and passive-aggresive, you should know your gf well enough to be ok.... I was married to a woman who had a very difficult time making female friends, well, friends at all. Her gravity towards guys is understandable. Keep it as usual and don't show your insecurity more than you have to. 1
doyathinkso Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 You have now graduated to being just her old boyfriend from high school. College starts a new chapter in life. You are in the chapter she just left behind. Don't sweat it. That's life. She's gonna be running around getting a whole lot of strange for the next few years. That's what college is really all about. She is now in your past. Look to the future. There is way way better waiting for you up ahead. 1
Author JohnEarly Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 Break-up.....just kidding. Yeah, you are being insecure, but we all are insecure in some way. Not sure what that has to do with being alpha or beta. Designations that seem confusing to me and arbitrary. Those things that may attract her to someone is not BS, they're called 'common interests.' They are very important. For now, you should trust your gf. As long as you two see each other regularly and you're not intentionally pushing her away by being jealous and passive-aggresive, you should know your gf well enough to be ok.... I was married to a woman who had a very difficult time making female friends, well, friends at all. Her gravity towards guys is understandable. Keep it as usual and don't show your insecurity more than you have to. Thank you for the answer, I understood and your point really clarified a little. I'm just afraid that those common interests end up creating some romance between them :/ My girlfriend is also like that, she really struggles with friendships... Thank you once again
doyathinkso Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Go ahead. Stay in denial as long as you like. She is not your girlfriend anymore. She's just standing in front of the buffet wondering where to begin.
LD1990 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 You're not insecure, your gut's telling you that this ain't gonna end well, and it's right. The cold reality is that your girlfriend is going to break up with you, cheat on you, or both. That may sound harsh or like I'm jumping to conclusions, but this scenario has played out thousands of times before. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Thank you for the answer, I understood and your point really clarified a little. I'm just afraid that those common interests end up creating some romance between them :/ My girlfriend is also like that, she really struggles with friendships... Thank you once again Look, there are no guarantees, but until there is a reason to doubt, don't add fuel and light the match. Your doubts and irregularity is going to make things worse, not better. If you really love her and she loves you, it can work out. I have friends who were in your situation and b/c they were committed, it worked out.
Space Ritual Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Hello fellas, I really need a friendly advice here. My 2 year girlfriend just went to college, an Arts college (do not worry about the distance, I went to college to and its actually like 20 mins away, no problemo). She just starting going out with a group, mostly males, she said she isn't coping well with the females there. I've been noticing there's like 1 or 2 guys that are constantly liking her posts on Facebook/Instagram, and they're one of these she hangs out with. I do know she loves me, but damn, one of them is like, from a succesful band, is vegan (just like she is), it kinda looks like me, all that bs that makes girls like her interested on somebody. I just feel threatened as hell, because I really think this guy is getting interested on her, and something tells me I'll end up f*cked I've just started showing that this crap affects me, I just told her something sarcastic like "damn this guy really likes you" and went kinda ignoring because didnt felt like talking. She just keep telling me to trust her and that she loves me, but I mean... If the interest on this guy just borns, all that bs just goes away real quick. Am I being insecure and beta as hell by being so concerned about this? Or what the hell should i actually do?? Lets avoid the "break up" thing please. Thank you. Hey John, There was a similar thread a day or too ago from another guy that kind of has a similar problem. I will say the same thing to you I said to him. You have 2 choices, either accept it or find a new girlfriend. There really isn't going to be any way around it that you probably won't feel threatened. I will say to you however that from my experience when someone keeps reiterating that you just need to trust them, that I would probably be thinking really hard about whether or not to. It is just how I am, as when I have been told that t certain points in my life the exact opposite resulted form the trust, in that I was betrayed. Relationships these days have a much more difficult dynamic to them as opposed tow hen I was college age in that their seems to be much more avenues to go down that can eventually lead to succumbing to temptation. If you are writing in at this point, so early in the college year, I expect your trust will be rapidly eroded. So in light of that, I would be looking for an exit. Good Luck. 1
Space Ritual Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 You're not insecure, your gut's telling you that this ain't gonna end well, and it's right. The cold reality is that your girlfriend is going to break up with you, cheat on you, or both. That may sound harsh or like I'm jumping to conclusions, but this scenario has played out thousands of times before. Agreed, it sure has, and sadly it seems all too predictable. 2
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