I want my boyfriend back. How do things look for me? Give me some options/advice!!!

[smartypants]

Me and my boyfriend (now ex) have been on and off for 10 months. When we are together we are all over each other, but when we argue, it's terrible. I always try to approach our arguments in a mature manner, but he usually has a nonchalant attitude toward everything. Everytime in the past that we have broken up he has always emerged about a week after the break-up, usually when I would blow him off and not speak to him. This time, however, I was bawling, calling him all the time and beggin to get back together. The first time I called he was nice. The second and third time, he was extremely rude. He degraded me very badly.

I am confused. How could he have loved me and talk to me this way? Why did we work things out those other times? I want to call him so bad, but in some way, I think that he is feeding off of my behavior right now. He has even blocked me from instant messenger, even though when I was online, I wouldn't bother him. I want my boyfriend back...but he has seemingly moved on. I keep having these mixed emotions like 'did I drive him away,' but "I was right to get mad', or 'that was petty: I should have let it go." He told me I would be happy with someone else, but I could NEVER have said that to him and meant it.

He said that he would call me after things have cooled down, but I don;t think that he will and if he does, what will I say. I know that I was the best girlfriend that he's had. Even if I can't get him back, I want him to eventually wake up one day and realize what he had. I did everything for him and was very forgiving whenever he hurt me. Doesn't that count for something. Help!

[westernxer]

Not good.

 

The past is the past, and it counts for nothing. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't, but you have to move on.

 

No use forcing it, because he doesn't seem to realize how good he had it. By the way, we all say that, just to make ourselves feel better. Doesn't change anything, though, because we have to change ourselves, provided we want to.

 

It's the only way...

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

By the way, we all say that, just to make ourselves feel better. Doesn't change anything, though,

 

I agree we all need a justification. Often it's true, too - but then, it's his loss, isn't it?

 

You won't know for certain if he'll come back until he does! and if he doesn't, remember that you can't change the past. In a similar vein, you don't want to look back 5 years from now and see how much time you wasted, waiting for him to come back.

 

I know, there are certain relationships which are "fiery" - when it's good, you're on cloud nine, and when it's not, it really is the pits!! I think it happens when you both do share a connection on some level, but the base of the relationship hasn't developed enough, to fall back on during bad times.

 

IMO, ten months isn't as difficult as 10 years (except maybe more frustrating, because you couldn't take it where you wanted to!) Give it a month - or two - and you'll see that it gets better.

[Heavy Artillery]

Let him go. There are so much more important things to beat yourself up over.

[RecordProducer]

He loves you when you're all over each other. But when it's terrible, it's you who makes it terrible, because you get mad and then don't speak to him. He's been nonchalant about it for a long time, but his patience has reach the maximum. He can't put up with your temper anymore.

 

As much as you think you had a right to get mad, he doesn't see it that way. He wants a calm, relaxed girl who will love him, not be angry at him. I've done the same mistakes and they've cost me a lot.

 

If you were the one who broke up, you should call him and talk to him (in person). Let him know that you made a mistake and want to try and work things out between the two of you. Be sweet and from now on think twice before getting angry. Some people are able to take a lot, but once they make up their minds to quit the sh*t they don't look back. Hopefully he will give you another chance. Don't blow it this time! Good luck!