gozdetak Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Our 2 years relationship finished 3 days ago. In these 2 years we broke up several times. However, we started again and again. But it is like a vicious circle. I know that it is kind of weird but he never loves me, not more than a friend but we share so many things, and I have never love someone like that in my life. I was ready to do anything for him, and he really tried to love me but it never happened. And the reason why we broke up is this. He doesn't love me more than a friend, when he is with me he doesn't flirt with anybody, maybe he can find someone and love her but he wants to keep me in his life. When I was asking "you don't love me, you don't see other girls, maybe you can find a girl and be happy but why do you want to be with me?", he replied "I don't know" !. I have really tried to make him happy, but he CAN'T love me, I don't know why, he said it is not in my control, actually he is right. Anyway. I was really upset and I thought I could not continue to this relationship, because it is really hard for me. When I was falling in love with him everyday, he just sees me as a friend. Before there was hope, but now I know that it is almost impossible. 4 days ago I texted him that I cannot hold anymore and it is really painful for me. First, he said that don't leave me, I love you more than you expected. Can we just stay as friends, and so on. But I said I don't want to stay. (We talked very long). Finally, he respected my decision. Same day (after few hours) he texted "can I see you for the last time?". I said "why", and he replied "if we won't see each other again, I want to hug and kiss you", and I said "Okay". And the next day we met. It was really hard for me to see him. We talked and talked but there was no change. I said I am gonna change my number because we eventually talk and start again and I don't want this (btw he just use facebook and I don't use fb, and we don't have any social contact except whatsapp). He said "don't do this", but I changed my number. Now actually, I have his number but he doesn't have mine. I constantly think him, I want to write and I just want to talk. Nothing more. Because it is so hard to hold on. I miss him so much although it has been only 3 days. I don't know what to do. Should I text him or not? 4 days later his birthday, I don't know should I send a message or not..
cucumber95 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Text him, but only if you want to get back with him, it sounds like you love him, because you miss him. I would text him if I were you. Good luck
ChickiePops Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 No, you should not text him. He has already admitted that he doesn't love you and being his friend will only make it harder to get over him. Take some time to heal and then find someone who does want to be with you. 2
aloneinaz Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 No, don't text him again! Yes, change your phone number and delete his. Then, work on yourself esteem and self worth that are apparently broken. Why invest so much time with someone who's been upfront about not loving you "enough". Screw that. Find someone who will adore you and be grateful you're in their life. NEVER settle for a relationship like you just experienced. You should of left him long ago to search for someone else. Time to suck it up and vanish from this guys life. 2
Sweetgirl28 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 No, don't text him! It sounds like he is stringing you along with manipulative games. Don't fall for them. Also, please don't reach out to him on his birthday. He doesn't deserve that. Take time for yourself and you'll find someone better over time. 2
hippychick3 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 No! Please don't text him and do NOT wish him a happy birthday. You deserve someone who will love you back like you loved him. You would be selling yourself short and settling if you were still with him. You can and will find someone better. The only way to truly heal is to not have ANY contact with him for any reason. Good job changing your number. You're on the path to healing and any contact will be huge setback to your healing. It will get better in time. 1
Author gozdetak Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 I wrote a message but I couldn't touch the send button. I read these answers and I gave up to text him. Thank you for all your replies. I know that right thing is not to write him, but sometimes I just want to talk, because it is so hard to feel someone's absence in your life. I appreciated for your advices. I just want to forget this love. It really hurts..
DarrenB Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 I wrote a message but I couldn't touch the send button. I read these answers and I gave up to text him. Thank you for all your replies. I know that right thing is not to write him, but sometimes I just want to talk, because it is so hard to feel someone's absence in your life. I appreciated for your advices. I just want to forget this love. It really hurts.. Great call, good progress. The things of which we love and adore ourselves, tend to hurts us more than what we could have ever imagined. We don't really expect it, but you have to be ready nevertheless. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/556556-no-contact-support-thread-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex Feel free to post your thoughts of your ex (e.g feelings, lectures, daily thoughts and so forth), if you ever feel the need to. The whole point of this specific thread stated above is to vent your feelings out to your ex, anonymously and to not actually send it to them directly.
NopeNah Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 I wrote a message but I couldn't touch the send button. I read these answers and I gave up to text him. Thank you for all your replies. I know that right thing is not to write him, but sometimes I just want to talk, because it is so hard to feel someone's absence in your life. I appreciated for your advices. I just want to forget this love. It really hurts.. Just give it time. The 'want to' thoughts get further apart with time. The longer you stay in contact, even if it's friendly contact,the longer you stay 'stuck'. I'm dealing with this now. I've been in friendly limited contact for a couple of weeks now. I really wish she had started seeing someone so, I could just accept that we'll never be together 'like that' again. I'm the dumper in my scenario and it's still hard to finalize in my mind that we are not good together. Addiction is a mutha!
Author gozdetak Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 Great call, good progress. The things of which we love and adore ourselves, tend to hurts us more than what we could have ever imagined. We don't really expect it, but you have to be ready nevertheless. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/556556-no-contact-support-thread-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex Feel free to post your thoughts of your ex (e.g feelings, lectures, daily thoughts and so forth), if you ever feel the need to. The whole point of this specific thread stated above is to vent your feelings out to your ex, anonymously and to not actually send it to them directly. Thank you for sharing this thread. I read some messages, and now I feel I am not the only one who have similar feelings. I know we forget so many things in our lives when the time passes, and I know it is gonna hurt less in future and hopefully one day never. I feel lucky that I've found this forum, you guys really help me. This love that I feel for him was very deep and it makes me weak, but your answers give me strength.
Author gozdetak Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 Just give it time. The 'want to' thoughts get further apart with time. The longer you stay in contact, even if it's friendly contact,the longer you stay 'stuck'. I'm dealing with this now. I've been in friendly limited contact for a couple of weeks now. I really wish she had started seeing someone so, I could just accept that we'll never be together 'like that' again. I'm the dumper in my scenario and it's still hard to finalize in my mind that we are not good together. Addiction is a mutha! Thank you for relpy. I experienced the same situation with him. It sucks. You cannot stay as friends, it is so difficult, especially, if the relationship was deep. We were texting each other as friends, but I think it is really not healthy for both. Because when you or him feel alone, you text him, or he textes you. And if you both feel alone, it is very dangerous. It can start again, it can finish again, and you can be more upset. It happened to us, and now I found no other solution except changing my number. All I have to do is to be patient..
whatnot Posted October 16, 2016 Posted October 16, 2016 Our 2 years relationship finished 3 days ago. In these 2 years we broke up several times. However, we started again and again. But it is like a vicious circle. I know that it is kind of weird but he never loves me, not more than a friend but we share so many things, and I have never love someone like that in my life. I was ready to do anything for him, and he really tried to love me but it never happened. And the reason why we broke up is this. He doesn't love me more than a friend, when he is with me he doesn't flirt with anybody, maybe he can find someone and love her but he wants to keep me in his life. When I was asking "you don't love me, you don't see other girls, maybe you can find a girl and be happy but why do you want to be with me?", he replied "I don't know" !. I have really tried to make him happy, but he CAN'T love me, I don't know why, he said it is not in my control, actually he is right. Anyway. I was really upset and I thought I could not continue to this relationship, because it is really hard for me. When I was falling in love with him everyday, he just sees me as a friend. Before there was hope, but now I know that it is almost impossible. 4 days ago I texted him that I cannot hold anymore and it is really painful for me. First, he said that don't leave me, I love you more than you expected. Can we just stay as friends, and so on. But I said I don't want to stay. (We talked very long). Finally, he respected my decision. Same day (after few hours) he texted "can I see you for the last time?". I said "why", and he replied "if we won't see each other again, I want to hug and kiss you", and I said "Okay". And the next day we met. It was really hard for me to see him. We talked and talked but there was no change. I said I am gonna change my number because we eventually talk and start again and I don't want this (btw he just use facebook and I don't use fb, and we don't have any social contact except whatsapp). He said "don't do this", but I changed my number. Now actually, I have his number but he doesn't have mine. I constantly think him, I want to write and I just want to talk. Nothing more. Because it is so hard to hold on. I miss him so much although it has been only 3 days. I don't know what to do. Should I text him or not? 4 days later his birthday, I don't know should I send a message or not..What am I missing that's so obvious to everyone else? I find no wrong doing on his part. He does want to be with her. Always has. See's her as a friend. From this writing....it's the female that's wanting what he ain't giving. And it sounds as if she's the one doing the breaking up because of that. My sister.....she married someone she "loved". It lasted 5 years. Divorced. Then a physician said to her one day (she respected this guy)....He told her...."Marry your best friend". 5 years later, she met her current husband. They've been married 25 years. They were friends at work. Over time, they're friendship expanded to doing things outside of work. this continued for a year before they even began to wonder when they were out..."Are we dating?" LOL 6 mos. later they were married. My only advice to the OP is....if you're miserable....dump his (you know what) again.
Recommended Posts