Smokeandmirrors4 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Hello all. Second post here. Separated, but husband still lives in the house (sleeps on another floor). Fairly amicable, but I am really looking forward to him moving out. Anyways was seeing a MM, however I ended that. I joined an OLD site and "met" someone about an hour away. We have texted often as we both work a lot of overnights, but no IRL meet yet. I work 80+ hours a week so it's been hard, but definitely was to happen in the next week or so. A few flags have gone up. One was a possible get together but his friend ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. Was in for over a week and he couldn't get together because he was keeping his friend company. I'm a nurse, and a week stay for a broken arm just doesn't happen if surgery is not required. Yesterday we texted first thing in the morning and he stopped communicating and texted me this morning saying sorry but a friend was ill and he spent the day with him yesterday. No biggie. We are getting to know one another. Constant texting isn't necessary. I texted him back joking that it must be dangerous to be friends with him (2 friends in 2 weeks that he has need to stay with). I'm not sure how he interpreted it (English is not his first language and just moved to this country 2 years ago), but he texted back ok. Bye. Never text me again. ?? Lol I asked him why. And told him it was nice to get to know him and to take care. Question is should I leave it alone, or try to clarify? I feel bad if he thinks I was trying to insult him, however another part of me says leave it alone as your intuition is usually correct. Sorry been out of this dating game for over 15 years and just want to make sure I'm likely right that something isn't quite right.
Bialy Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Does this guy know that you are married, not divorced, and living with your husband? Put that in your profile.
Author Smokeandmirrors4 Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 Thanks. He does actually. I'm very up front about it. There is 0 romantic relationship with my husband and there hasn't been for many years. I appreciate the help
Redhead14 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Hello all. Second post here. Separated, but husband still lives in the house (sleeps on another floor). Fairly amicable, but I am really looking forward to him moving out. Anyways was seeing a MM, however I ended that. I joined an OLD site and "met" someone about an hour away. We have texted often as we both work a lot of overnights, but no IRL meet yet. I work 80+ hours a week so it's been hard, but definitely was to happen in the next week or so. A few flags have gone up. One was a possible get together but his friend ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. Was in for over a week and he couldn't get together because he was keeping his friend company. I'm a nurse, and a week stay for a broken arm just doesn't happen if surgery is not required. Yesterday we texted first thing in the morning and he stopped communicating and texted me this morning saying sorry but a friend was ill and he spent the day with him yesterday. No biggie. We are getting to know one another. Constant texting isn't necessary. I texted him back joking that it must be dangerous to be friends with him (2 friends in 2 weeks that he has need to stay with). I'm not sure how he interpreted it (English is not his first language and just moved to this country 2 years ago), but he texted back ok. Bye. Never text me again. ?? Lol I asked him why. And told him it was nice to get to know him and to take care. Question is should I leave it alone, or try to clarify? I feel bad if he thinks I was trying to insult him, however another part of me says leave it alone as your intuition is usually correct. Sorry been out of this dating game for over 15 years and just want to make sure I'm likely right that something isn't quite right. I am not a nurse and the first thought I had was, "really, he's in the hospital for a week"? My daughter had a broken arm that required surgery and she was home in 1.5 days (0nly because of the discharge process). I would have called him out and said "Oh my goodness, he must have needed surgery. Did they have to put in pins. #510's are the most difficult." and let him hang himself . . . " Clarify what? You know he's BSing you . . he did it twice and the first time should have been enough. (English is not his first language and just moved to this country 2 years ago) -- Lies in English or any other language are still lies . . .
Author Smokeandmirrors4 Posted October 15, 2016 Author Posted October 15, 2016 I am not a nurse and the first thought I had was, "really, he's in the hospital for a week"? My daughter had a broken arm that required surgery and she was home in 1.5 days (0nly because of the discharge process). I would have called him out and said "Oh my goodness, he must have needed surgery. Did they have to put in pins. #510's are the most difficult." and let him hang himself . . . " Clarify what? You know he's BSing you . . he did it twice and the first time should have been enough. (English is not his first language and just moved to this country 2 years ago) -- Lies in English or any other language are still lies . . . Thanks, I figured as much 1
carhill Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 IMO, focus on some modicum of online pull and get to a personal meeting. Save the humor for the personal meeting. At that meeting, be sure to be transparent about your domestic situation. I'd suggest not expecting men to take you out on dates for first meetings. Light, inexpensive and split it. This guy is one of billions. No need to clarify anything. Plenty more out there. Erase his info and move on.
Redhead14 Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 You have been out of the dating world for a long time . . . somethings have changed, but if you are a strong, secure, independent, non-desperate woman, your gut hasn't Trust your gut and be focused and objective. You know BS when you smell it! When something smells really bad the first time, don't sniff it again to be sure :0
Space Ritual Posted October 15, 2016 Posted October 15, 2016 Hello all. Second post here. Separated, but husband still lives in the house (sleeps on another floor). Fairly amicable, but I am really looking forward to him moving out. Anyways was seeing a MM, however I ended that. I joined an OLD site and "met" someone about an hour away. We have texted often as we both work a lot of overnights, but no IRL meet yet. I work 80+ hours a week so it's been hard, but definitely was to happen in the next week or so. A few flags have gone up. One was a possible get together but his friend ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. Was in for over a week and he couldn't get together because he was keeping his friend company. I'm a nurse, and a week stay for a broken arm just doesn't happen if surgery is not required. Yesterday we texted first thing in the morning and he stopped communicating and texted me this morning saying sorry but a friend was ill and he spent the day with him yesterday. No biggie. We are getting to know one another. Constant texting isn't necessary. I texted him back joking that it must be dangerous to be friends with him (2 friends in 2 weeks that he has need to stay with). I'm not sure how he interpreted it (English is not his first language and just moved to this country 2 years ago), but he texted back ok. Bye. Never text me again. ?? Lol I asked him why. And told him it was nice to get to know him and to take care. Question is should I leave it alone, or try to clarify? I feel bad if he thinks I was trying to insult him, however another part of me says leave it alone as your intuition is usually correct. Sorry been out of this dating game for over 15 years and just want to make sure I'm likely right that something isn't quite right. Sounds fishy on his part. If you have not met him in person by the end of the month move on. He may have cold feet or he has some side trim he is seeing or for all you know that "sick friend " could be his wife... Incidentally did you let him know you had been seeing a married man previously? If so that may also not bode well for your dating pool if you are looking for something long term.. While it may seem perfectly normal to you, making any passing comment to a potential suitor about recently seeing someone who was currently married has the propensity to send said potential suitor running for the hills, or give them a skewed perception about you, in that they may take it to mean you are not a very safe person to be around. Perhaps not exactly something you want to float out there right off the bat. It could be a combination of many things, but again, if you haven't had face to face meeting by Halloween, move on.
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