tacoman Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 G/f of 5 years broke up with me 3 months ago. Within 2 weeks had a new beau. Anyway, since the break up, she has really made no attempt to contact me what so ever, until i got to a point where she thought i might "hate" her and she came running over to clear the air a bit. I watched her play at a show at the park with my mother and a mutual friend. I didnt realise the new guy was there. But he was. Well 2 days later we missed a call, but it was from her house. She has not really made one attempt to contact me before, let alone the telephone. No message left. So i called back like 3 hours later and left a message with her sister who said she was out. I hear nothing back and give it another day after. Then i email and just say whats up? who called? All i got back was her saying "I didnt call, so i was confused when i got your message, but anyway..." then made a quick line about something dumb. This has me so confused, because other than when i saw her play the other day, i had NC for about a month. It is boggling my mind, because something big would be going on for a phone call. Here is what i have it down to: EXGF-says she didnt call? so i would have to believe her i guess. Her mom - if it was her mom she would have said in her email or her mom would have just called back. Her 2 sisters - it would not be them guranteed. Her New guy - This is my strongest bet, because we REALLY dont like each other for obvious reasons. I did nothing wrong by watching her play infront of 300 people. I watched, politely said she sounded great and left. But my assumption is that he called to say something ? i dont know, my friends think that is unlikely, but what else could it be? I responded to her email kind of sarcastically, because i was ticked, because that is unfair to get a call from her house and all i get is "it wasnt me". That doesnt make any sense. He is the only one she would not tell me who called or be ashamed about it. IN the email i said something like: "its weird that it wasnt you, hopefully it wasnt someone else in your house because that would show zero respect for you and my family. Luckily me and you have a lot more class than that, so it must have been a telephone malfunction." then a little paragraph on whatever. But is what i wrote above really harsh? i dont know, i was frustrated, because i do want her back.
Treasa Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I don't know what was so disrespectful about someone calling your house and not leaving a message. People are entitled to do that, you know. Maybe if it was at 3am, but you didn't say it was, so I'm assuming it wasn't. Leave it. She has a boyfriend, she isn't exactly reaching out to you, and sending an email like that shows that you are WAY too preoccupied with her. Just ignore it and go on with your life.
Author tacoman Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 I just found it disrespectful in the sense that she says to give her space and a clean break for now. Then when i leave her alone, i get mysterious calls to my house to set me back. And then not to give an explanation and say she didnt call or who exactly did, thats just a game and isnt letting me heal the proper way. I am moving past it, but that crap is a setback no matter what, unless you have no heart. The one thing that does tick me off is everyone trying to find all these miraculous ways to surpress their feelings inside and not actually dealing with them or going through the motions. Surpression and distractions have horrible effects on the long term make up of your brain and general personal psychology. Surpression usually makes things linger longer or leaves you less healed than if you go through the pain and analyse it and your thoughts. Moving on is the key, but trying your hardest to act like things dont bother you or creating distractions for your thoughts and pains doesnt work any better. Its hard when you were together for 5 years and talking about getting married, etc. then blam. Plus her saying if its meant to work out it will, her mom saying stuff like that, her saying she believes in second chances, etc........easy ways to let me down, maybe, i dont know, but it screws with your head when your holding out hope no matter what you try and do to move forward.
ggallin13 Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by tacoman The one thing that does tick me off is everyone trying to find all these miraculous ways to surpress their feelings inside and not actually dealing with them or going through the motions. Surpression and distractions have horrible effects on the long term make up of your brain and general personal psychology. Surpression usually makes things linger longer or leaves you less healed than if you go through the pain and analyse it and your thoughts. Moving on is the key, but trying your hardest to act like things dont bother you or creating distractions for your thoughts and pains doesnt work any better. That is true to a point, but she dumped you, so these feelings you have are misplaced. She already has another boyfriend. You have to supress your feelings on some level, or you'll become a stalker, right? And, you can let things bother you, just don't ACT on those feelings. Nothing good can come of it. Ever. Maybe she is playing mind games with you, maybe she isn't, but you shouldn't care. And in time, you won't. She is obviously moving on, you should, too. All that talk about second chances or whatever is just a way to keep you strung along in case this guy doesn't work out--which he probably won't. But that doesn't mean you have a shot. And, why would you want her back? After five years with you she can leave and get with another guy in two weeks? What makes you think if you get back with her she won't do it again? And again? And, as far as the phone call goes, maybe someone at the house hit your number on the speed dial by mistake? Or dialed your number by mistake? That happens all the time. I do it, my friends do it. "Oops, I was trying to call Jamie! Sorry!" But when whoever heard your message they went, "Whoops" and just hung up and dialed the right number. Occam's Razor.
Author tacoman Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 I will sound like a freak, but i dated her for 5 years. Their phone doesnt have speed dial. And my sister was running in the house to get the call. It rang 3 times and then when the machine picked up it disconnected and we missed the call. But her number and name was up on our call display.
westernxer Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Change your number, that way you won't have to worry about this anymore.
mazza32cott Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 westernxr. You are a man of many words. People do have feelings you know. Life is not so black and white lol.
theone44 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by tacoman G/f of 5 years broke up with me 3 months ago. Within 2 weeks had a new beau. Anyway, since the break up, she has really made no attempt to contact me what so ever, until i got to a point where she thought i might "hate" her and she came running over to clear the air a bit. I watched her play at a show at the park with my mother and a mutual friend. I didnt realise the new guy was there. But he was. Well 2 days later we missed a call, but it was from her house. She has not really made one attempt to contact me before, let alone the telephone. No message left. So i called back like 3 hours later and left a message with her sister who said she was out. I hear nothing back and give it another day after. Then i email and just say whats up? who called? All i got back was her saying "I didnt call, so i was confused when i got your message, but anyway..." then made a quick line about something dumb. This has me so confused, because other than when i saw her play the other day, i had NC for about a month. It is boggling my mind, because something big would be going on for a phone call. Here is what i have it down to: EXGF-says she didnt call? so i would have to believe her i guess. Her mom - if it was her mom she would have said in her email or her mom would have just called back. Her 2 sisters - it would not be them guranteed. Her New guy - This is my strongest bet, because we REALLY dont like each other for obvious reasons. I did nothing wrong by watching her play infront of 300 people. I watched, politely said she sounded great and left. But my assumption is that he called to say something ? i dont know, my friends think that is unlikely, but what else could it be? I responded to her email kind of sarcastically, because i was ticked, because that is unfair to get a call from her house and all i get is "it wasnt me". That doesnt make any sense. He is the only one she would not tell me who called or be ashamed about it. IN the email i said something like: "its weird that it wasnt you, hopefully it wasnt someone else in your house because that would show zero respect for you and my family. Luckily me and you have a lot more class than that, so it must have been a telephone malfunction." then a little paragraph on whatever. But is what i wrote above really harsh? i dont know, i was frustrated, because i do want her back.
VirginiaBob Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I have an idea. 1. Get the call record from the phone company to verify that it was from her number. 2. Camp out in a strange looking van for the next 2 weeks outside her house. 3. If the cops come after you, just show them the phone record, they'll understand.
theone44 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I have an idea. 1. Get the call record from the phone company to verify that it was from her number. 2. Camp out in a strange looking van for the next 2 weeks outside her house. 3. If the cops come after you, just show them the phone record, they'll understand. Good point "Uncle Bob"...
theone44 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by tacoman G/f of 5 years broke up with me 3 months ago. Within 2 weeks had a new beau. Anyway, since the break up, she has really made no attempt to contact me what so ever, until i got to a point where she thought i might "hate" her and she came running over to clear the air a bit. I watched her play at a show at the park with my mother and a mutual friend. I didnt realise the new guy was there. But he was. Well 2 days later we missed a call, but it was from her house. She has not really made one attempt to contact me before, let alone the telephone. No message left. So i called back like 3 hours later and left a message with her sister who said she was out. I hear nothing back and give it another day after. Then i email and just say whats up? who called? All i got back was her saying "I didnt call, so i was confused when i got your message, but anyway..." then made a quick line about something dumb. This has me so confused, because other than when i saw her play the other day, i had NC for about a month. It is boggling my mind, because something big would be going on for a phone call. Here is what i have it down to: EXGF-says she didnt call? so i would have to believe her i guess. Her mom - if it was her mom she would have said in her email or her mom would have just called back. Her 2 sisters - it would not be them guranteed. Her New guy - This is my strongest bet, because we REALLY dont like each other for obvious reasons. I did nothing wrong by watching her play infront of 300 people. I watched, politely said she sounded great and left. But my assumption is that he called to say something ? i dont know, my friends think that is unlikely, but what else could it be? I responded to her email kind of sarcastically, because i was ticked, because that is unfair to get a call from her house and all i get is "it wasnt me". That doesnt make any sense. He is the only one she would not tell me who called or be ashamed about it. IN the email i said something like: "its weird that it wasnt you, hopefully it wasnt someone else in your house because that would show zero respect for you and my family. Luckily me and you have a lot more class than that, so it must have been a telephone malfunction." then a little paragraph on whatever. But is what i wrote above really harsh? i dont know, i was frustrated, because i do want her back. She calling,cuz she want to hear your voice. Of course she going to deny it. most women do it. My ex did the same thing. i got several mysterious call from her,but the phone will only ring one or twice.
Treasa Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 It doesn't matter if she called or why she called. If you respond by making a big deal of it, she'll know she still has you.
ggallin13 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa It doesn't matter if she called or why she called. If you respond by making a big deal of it, she'll know she still has you. Exactly. Why is it that people want to know if you still want them even though they don't want you? Sucks.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I think it's kind of funny that your are hounding your ex about whether or not she called because her called ID showed up on your phone. Obviously she called or her boyfriend. Either way neither one of them really seems to want to fess up to calling you. Secretly your ex probably feels kind of embarrased because it was obviously her. But that's besides the point. I'd totally stay away from your ex. NC and therapy and ride it out..........soon all this will be a forgotten memory. It really hurts when your ex finds somebody else to date so soon, but I'm sure she probably spends a lot of time with her new boyfriend talking about you anyway. Who could get out of a five year relationship and walk right into another one so fast? Feel sorry for her new boyfriend. Seriously, he's probably getting an earful from her about you. Sooner or later he'll probably realize that he's a rebound and he'll move on. I'd just stay away from your ex. You might even keep these two together if you keep sending them all these jealousy vibes. Just pretend like you're minding your own business and getting on with your life. That's the BEST you can do. Good luck.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I think it's kind of funny that your are hounding your ex about whether or not she called because her called ID showed up on your phone. Obviously she called or her boyfriend. Either way neither one of them really seems to want to fess up to calling you. Secretly your ex probably feels kind of embarrased because it was obviously her. But that's besides the point. I'd totally stay away from your ex. NC and therapy and ride it out..........soon all this will be a forgotten memory. It really hurts when your ex finds somebody else to date so soon, but I'm sure she probably spends a lot of time with her new boyfriend talking about you anyway. Who could get out of a five year relationship and walk right into another one so fast? Feel sorry for her new boyfriend. Seriously, he's probably getting an earful from her about you. Sooner or later he'll probably realize that he's a rebound and he'll move on. I'd just stay away from your ex. You might even keep these two together if you keep sending them all these jealousy vibes. Just pretend like you're minding your own business and getting on with your life. That's the BEST you can do. Good luck.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I think it's kind of funny that your are hounding your ex about whether or not she called because her called ID showed up on your phone. Obviously she called or her boyfriend. Either way neither one of them really seems to want to fess up to calling you. Secretly your ex probably feels kind of embarrased because it was obviously her. But that's besides the point. I'd totally stay away from your ex. NC and therapy and ride it out..........soon all this will be a forgotten memory. It really hurts when your ex finds somebody else to date so soon, but I'm sure she probably spends a lot of time with her new boyfriend talking about you anyway. Who could get out of a five year relationship and walk right into another one so fast? Feel sorry for her new boyfriend. Seriously, he's probably getting an earful from her about you. Sooner or later he'll probably realize that he's a rebound and he'll move on. I'd just stay away from your ex. You might even keep these two together if you keep sending them all these jealousy vibes. Just pretend like you're minding your own business and getting on with your life. That's the BEST you can do. Good luck.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I think it's kind of funny that your are hounding your ex about whether or not she called because her called ID showed up on your phone. Obviously she called or her boyfriend. Either way neither one of them really seems to want to fess up to calling you. Secretly your ex probably feels kind of embarrased because it was obviously her. But that's besides the point. I'd totally stay away from your ex. NC and therapy and ride it out..........soon all this will be a forgotten memory. It really hurts when your ex finds somebody else to date so soon, but I'm sure she probably spends a lot of time with her new boyfriend talking about you anyway. Who could get out of a five year relationship and walk right into another one so fast? Feel sorry for her new boyfriend. Seriously, he's probably getting an earful from her about you. Sooner or later he'll probably realize that he's a rebound and he'll move on. I'd just stay away from your ex. You might even keep these two together if you keep sending them all these jealousy vibes. Just pretend like you're minding your own business and getting on with your life. That's the BEST you can do. Good luck.
moon Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 I think it's kind of funny that your are hounding your ex about whether or not she called because her called ID showed up on your phone. Obviously she called or her boyfriend. Either way neither one of them really seems to want to fess up to calling you. Secretly your ex probably feels kind of embarrased because it was obviously her. But that's besides the point. I'd totally stay away from your ex. NC and therapy and ride it out..........soon all this will be a forgotten memory. It really hurts when your ex finds somebody else to date so soon, but I'm sure she probably spends a lot of time with her new boyfriend talking about you anyway. Who could get out of a five year relationship and walk right into another one so fast? Feel sorry for her new boyfriend. Seriously, he's probably getting an earful from her about you. Sooner or later he'll probably realize that he's a rebound and he'll move on. I'd just stay away from your ex. You might even keep these two together if you keep sending them all these jealousy vibes. Just pretend like you're minding your own business and getting on with your life. That's the BEST you can do. Good luck.
westernxer Posted July 11, 2005 Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by mazza32cott westernxr. You are a man of many words. People do have feelings you know. Life is not so black and white lol. Just be glad you can't hear my voice... Originally posted by VirginiaBob I have an idea. 1. Get the call record from the phone company to verify that it was from her number. 2. Camp out in a strange looking van for the next 2 weeks outside her house. 3. If the cops come after you, just show them the phone record, they'll understand. You're the king, VirginiaBob.
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