Opinion: Proof that they didn't care that much.......or is it a rebound????

[markraine]

When you have been together with someone for a long time and breakup, if they move on to another person within say a month......is that a sign that they probably never really cared much, or is it a rebound. How do you differentiate between the two? Anyone have experiences to share?????????

[westernxer]

Doesn't really matter, since they're not with you.

[smile95]

We tend to think they did not care, but they did at one time. Maybe not now. Sometimes people jump into something quick becasue they cannot be alone. They loved you at one time and do not discredit that.

[Drivetildriven]

You need to get out there too, even if you're not ready. Just get back on the horse. If nothing else it might maker her jealous and when a man can do that to the woman who broke up with him, its a good thing. Might even make her think twice.

[westernxer]

Originally posted by beth5201

They loved you at one time and do not discredit that.

 

My only question is why would this matter if the relationship is dissolved?

 

Maybe this is just an example of how men and women are wired differently. Or maybe I'm just a guy who doesn't like to live in the past.

[smile95]

They loved you at one time and do not discredit that.

 

 

 

My only question is why would this matter if the relationship is dissolved?

 

Maybe this is just an example of how men and women are wired differently. Or maybe I'm just a guy who doesn't like to live in the past.

 

I just meant just becasue they do not love you now does not mean they never did.

[westernxer]

I hear what you're saying, Beth. I just don't think it's a consolation to know that they once loved you. That's just my manner of thinking, but I think most guys would agree with me.

[sanne]

yea i would with western on this one. i think for guys, the hardest part about breaking up is accepting that it is over. once we accept that its over, we're pretty good at moving on completely.

 

i know personally i couldn't give a rat's ass what my ex is up to or who she is screwing and what not, or if she ever loved me. that's why i have absolutely no urge to go online, contact her, or do anything where i would have some sort of contact with her. i just don't wanna know what she's up to whatsover.

[pippen_2k]

Ditto to that!

 

Thats the last thing I would want to know!

 

If she is with someone else now, I hope she keeps it to herself, cause I definatley dont wanna know.. I dont even wanna see her just incase she is strutting around with someone else.

 

And how she felt about me whilst we were goin out? no interest....

[Kat]

I agree with what the other says. It shouldn't matter.

 

Don't worry, hopefully they will find someone so you dont' have to put up with them anymore

[sanne]

here's the thing, when your truly ready to move on none of these issues will matter. it took me almost a month to get to this point, and i still have a long ways to go. but one of the things that stuck with me was the following quote, "you can never go home". for me this quote rings in my head whenever i think about my ex, i can never go back to what I had because that chapter is over in my life. moving forward is the only thing i can do now. sure i can sit and mope about my ex, but life is short and why should i waste my life on someone that was awful to me. the best advice i can give is to get drunk and go hangout with your buddies, it does wonders in terms of forgetting about your ex. the most important thing to understand is that NC is a day-to-day thing, sooner or later you won't even think about it and that's when you'll realize that all your hard work has payed off.

 

the only thing i miss at this point is the sex, it's tempted me to almost invite my ex over for a few nights of passion, but deep down i know better.

[mazza32cott]

I understand what you are going through.

 

I don't think the guys think so different. I am over my ex and I too couldn't give a rats arse who he is with but the key is I AM OVER HIM. You are still getting to that point.

 

The difference between us and the guys I think is that we care how people feel and will give each other some comfort and they dont care about how their mates feel and just say get over it. lol ha ha ha tru support at its best.

 

As for sex, there are plenty of men willing to provide you with that resource. Why not go out and get a bit of variety while you are getting over it. I'm in a funny mood but it seems right to me.

 

Maz

[mazza32cott]

Sorry forgot to answer your question. I am sure he did care and love you at one time. Unfortunately for you, you are feeling sad but he has moved on. It's only natural to feel this way becuase you were with him for so long. They say about this rebound stuff but I am not so sure about that. There is also the saying the quickest way to get over one is to find another. Keep your chin up.

 

Maz