Rogerp Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I had what I thought was a great date with a woman I really liked a few days ago. Though we didn't set any future plans, the vibe was definitely a good one. Seemed like she felt that way too. Later in the week, I texted her asking her out a second time. She replied only: "Hey, I am busy then." Now, I know things can get lost in translation by text. Should I take it to mean: --I'm not interested, and that's my way of saying it without really saying it Or --She really is just busy on the days that I asked, and it would be worth another attempt when everything clears up. This one is an example of where I don't know her well enough to infer what she's thinking and don't want to let the brevity of texting make me misread things. Thoughts?
Sendmewings Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 Usually if I'm interested I'll follow up with a time that I'm not busy. Was it a last minute plan on your part? It wouldn't hurt to ask when is a better time
jen1447 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I'd say she's not interested. Usually we'll either counter-offer or at least throw you a bone to encourage you if we are. 2
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 She is either rubbish at texting (not unusual these days despite the amount we do it) or she is not interested. So here is a novel idea. Phone her. Then you can hear the tone of her voice and gauge how quickly she she responds etc. Conversation will also flow better. Text and dating should not mix but people seem to prefer it... Drives me insane. 1
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 She blew you off............. If she was interested she would have asked how you were doing or what you were up to, etc....you know keep the convo going.
hippychick3 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 Very likely she blew you off since she didn't give you an alternate day. However, there is a slight possibility that she is a terrible texter or was super busy when she wrote that and didn't intend to blow you off. So, if you really like her enough I would just tell her to let you know if she'd be interested in going out again. Then leave the ball in her court. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 Why oh why doesn't anyone ever just pick up the wretched phone these days? Just because there is an app for everything doesn't mean that you can't just talk to your fellow human beings once in a while... Long gone are the days when people would speak to each other. Instead of asking that handsome man or pretty woman - excuse me can you show me the way to the post office now we use sat nav and waze. Instead of striking up a normal conversation "Do you know what that tune the radio just played is?" we now have spotify... I have yet to fins an iphone app that wraps its arms round you when you are crying, or cleans the toilet, or helps with the washing up, or holds your hand, or laughs with you, or that you can live with for longer than the next update in technology... Humans are not replaceable. Stop being text and be a person. A human being... 3
Redhead14 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I had what I thought was a great date with a woman I really liked a few days ago. Though we didn't set any future plans, the vibe was definitely a good one. Seemed like she felt that way too. Later in the week, I texted her asking her out a second time. She replied only: "Hey, I am busy then." Now, I know things can get lost in translation by text. Should I take it to mean: --I'm not interested, and that's my way of saying it without really saying it Or --She really is just busy on the days that I asked, and it would be worth another attempt when everything clears up. This one is an example of where I don't know her well enough to infer what she's thinking and don't want to let the brevity of texting make me misread things. Thoughts? If you felt that way by the end of the first date, you should have set up another one at the end of that date, #1. And, I'd say that most women prefer a man to call her for another date very soon after the first and not text her. I know that's what I preferred when I was dating. To me texting for a date is the same as a guy pulling up to my parents house to pick me up and honking his horn for me to run out the door . . . 1
Kelley Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I agree with Toodaloo why not call? Texting is so rubbish especially asking for a second date. Call, show the woman you are interested and making an effort! To be honest had I received the text I may have said I'm busy then
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I have to say it right now. Every guy texts. Every guy puts those little x's at the end of his texts (which personally I absolutely hate) The way you are acting right now you are just the same as every other guy. Stand out and pick up the wretched phone and call her if you want a second date. Stand out by thinking of something you think she will enjoy and tell her that you saw it and thought she would enjoy it and would she like to go... Quit being so passive and submissive. You want it, go get it! Do not be like every other guy she has spoken to... BE YOU!
hippychick3 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I have to say it right now. Every guy texts. Every guy puts those little x's at the end of his texts (which personally I absolutely hate) The way you are acting right now you are just the same as every other guy. Stand out and pick up the wretched phone and call her if you want a second date. Stand out by thinking of something you think she will enjoy and tell her that you saw it and thought she would enjoy it and would she like to go... Quit being so passive and submissive. You want it, go get it! Do not be like every other guy she has spoken to... BE YOU! This is very true. Remembering back to my dating days, it was the guy who called me that made the best impression. They seemed to be the ones I liked the most. I actually HATE talking on the phone and prefer texting but when a guy I was interested in called me, I really liked it and he stood out to me. My current bf hates talking on the phone more than I do, But he called me every single day those first few weeks of dating so we could really get to know each other. 1
Buddhist Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 You take it at face value until you receive confirmation otherwise. Why infer anything at all? It only has the potential to lead you astray and make assumptions that may not be true. It's not really a big deal if you ask her again and she comes back with....actually I'm not interested, is it? Could be a bigger deal if you assume she's not interested when she is and you lose the opportunity. Far too many people place their pride or rather ego before anything else and lose out as a result. So what if someone rejects you, no-one dies from that, no-one even suffers more than a momentary disappointment from that. 1
preraph Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 Jesus, just call her and have a back and forth conversation that you can resolve the matter in.
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