If the guy hasn't made the first move, does that mean he's shy or not interested?

[makeuploverxo]

There are a few guys that I am interested in and they haven't made the first move to ask me out. If they haven't made the move to ask me out, does this mean he's shy or not interested? Should I make the first move if they haven't made the first move or wait for them to make the first move?

[fenix]

There are a few guys that I am interested in and they haven't made the first move to ask me out on a date. If they haven't made the move to ask me out on a date, does this mean he's shy or not interested? Should I make the first move if they haven't made the first move or wait for them to make the first move?

 

Have you give any sing that you are interested? Some guys have panic to rejection and won't make the move if you don't hint them that they won't be rejected...

[Toodaloo]

There are ways of making a move but getting them to ask if they are interested. Trust me ALWAYS make men think it was their idea, they don't generally like to be chased.

 

So what so you do?

 

You orchestrate the conversation. You think of things that you want to do and mention that you would like to do them. If they say it sounds like fun you reply "are you asking me on a date". They will either say yes or no.

 

Yes - great set up time and day.

 

No - just smile and talk about something else and be completely normal.

 

Do not be disheartened if they say no. Rejection happens every day and it does not kill you. Its just one of those things.

 

If you hint and he doesn't ask then move on. No point getting your knickers in a twist about it all.

[JewelD]

Have you actually given him signs that you're interested? If you have and he still hasn't asked you out, he's most likely not interested. Some guys are shy, but if he doesn't have the balls to ask you out on a date when he knows you like him (assuming he is single and likes you, too), he's probably not a good dating prospect.

[Miss Peach]

I don't like passive men so IME it usually means a man isn't a good fit for me or not interested enough if I have given him interest.

 

How old are you two? If you both are young, he might not have gotten over his fears of rejection yet.

[Shining One]

An often overlooked possibility: He's unaware that you're interested. I was taken by surprise by a few of the women who approached me. With that being said, there's no harm in making the first move. A handful of women have approached me over the years. Nothing bad happened to any of them as a result.

[PaperCrane]

An often overlooked possibility: He's unaware that you're interested. I was taken by surprise by a few of the women who approached me. With that being said, there's no harm in making the first move. A handful of women have approached me over the years. Nothing bad happened to any of them as a result.

 

Men are not always having their radar up on signs. We're expected to decode signals like they're obvious, but it's often like trying to read an alien language. In this day and age, some men fee it's actually VERY dangerous to just kiss a girl, even on a date, she can file a sexual assault charge against you and everything turns to ****e pretty quickly. So they need blaring horns and sirens that it's okay for them to make a move before they will.

[smackie9]

Ask yourself this.....how do they act around you? does it LOOK like they are interested? or are you HOPING they are?

[BluEyeL]

Usually it means they are not interested. There could be exceptions, but those will be that: exceptions.

 

You can make the first move as long as you're OK with the real possibility of being rejected.

[makeuploverxo]

Have you give any sing that you are interested? Some guys have panic to rejection and won't make the move if you don't hint them that they won't be rejected...

 

 

Yes. I showed interest in him.

[makeuploverxo]

I don't like passive men so IME it usually means a man isn't a good fit for me or not interested enough if I have given him interest.

 

How old are you two? If you both are young, he might not have gotten over his fears of rejection yet.

 

We are both in our early 20's.

[makeuploverxo]

Ask yourself this.....how do they act around you? does it LOOK like they are interested? or are you HOPING they are?

 

There are some days where they look like they are interested but i'm not sure if they are.

[risjurad]

Have you actually given him signs that you're interested? If you have and he still hasn't asked you out, he's most likely not interested. Some guys are shy, but if he doesn't have the balls to ask you out on a date when he knows you like him (assuming he is single and likes you, too), he's probably not a good dating prospect.

AFAIK, there should be a decent chance that if he's shy, then he wouldn't catch any clues that he'd be interested in the OP.

 

 

I don't know if it's taboo or "downright unacceptable" for a lady to ask a guy out, but @OP.. if you think there might be SOMETHING, I don't see how that could hurt.

[Lovezen_30]

There are a few guys that I am interested in and they haven't made the first move to ask me out. If they haven't made the move to ask me out, does this mean he's shy or not interested? Should I make the first move if they haven't made the first move or wait for them to make the first move?

 

There are so many variables. This guy is a unique person with his own reasons for not asking you out. So there's no 'they' involved, no DIRECT answer we can give you.

 

However I just encountered your exact problem and I asked him out. He made his interest very clear after that and now I think he just wasn't sure enough about my interest to proceed, so I'm really glad I asked Time will tell, follow your gut and make the best choice for you.

[lolablue17]

My wife made the first moves, very aggresive moves, I might add. She was spreading many thick hints but I haven't noticed anything so she actually almost forced herself on me. I was shy + not very interested (not that I had something against her, she just didn't catch my attention).

 

We are married for more than 20 years now

[preraph]

Yes, he is either shy or disinterested. Either way, why bother? If he's too fearful and shy to ask someone out who likes him, he's not going to be much fun to have around, is he? Because that is cripplingly shy if he can't act on anything important, don't you think? If he's that shy, he isn't ready to date at all. If he's not interested, you certainly don't want to ask him out.

[palmsand]

If he doesn't make the first move, it's very possibly because he is shy and isn't confident enough that you feel the same way. I would make it clear, not too strongly however, that you are into him. If still nothing, he probably isn't interested.

 

This is contingent of course on you still wanting to be with him if he does turn out to be the shy type. But, once you know how you feel about each other, I bet he comes out of his shell and things could go great.

[Lansing]

Tricky to say. I have been attracted/interested in girls before but been hesitant to ask them out on a date thinking I didn't want to put them in an awkward position if they didn't think of me in that way and I knew them in real life. What I would try to do sometimes is just "hang out" with them and see if there were sparks one one one but not making it clear it was a date. I think you should make opportunities for him to ask you out. Like if he talks about something that interests you say "oh cool, I have wanted to do that. If you go again and want company let me know" that way you leave a door open.

[mortensorchid]

Some will argue that he is shy or unsure of himself if he (the man) does not make the first move. True? Well, yes he may be, but remember that he will be shy or unsure of himself in other situations down the road with you. Chances are he is not so shy or unsure of himself in other aspects of his life (ex. career choices, social life, etc.) but he is being with a woman or a certain woman. I've been with a few "shy guys" here and there, and I can tell you that they will wimp out on a lot of things in life and have treated me badly. Others may fall into the "shy guy" category, but now I see it as they're not being very interested in me. And that's fine, he's not interested, so it is, and I move on.

[devilish innocent]

I've had a few times when I've come straight out to let a guy know I was interested. Every time I thought I'd been dropping hints before that, and every time the guy told me he hadn't picked up on those hints. I've never regretted being direct with my interest in a guy. If he was interested too, then things could proceed. If he wasn't, then at least I didn't have to waste anymore of my time wondering about him.