Jammer25 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 So my girlfriend and I work at the same company, but in different departments. We attended a lecture series with other coworkers off-site, and during one of the breaks she was frustrated with a work project and wanted me to hold her. I was a bit wary or others seeing us, especially in that setting. (Potential work gossip, effect on team dynamics, etc. in mind for me.) I suggested instead trying to talk about happier things like our trip this coming weekend, but she was immediately angry at me. I do understand why. She just needed me to hold her then and I rebuffed, but I felt I did so for a legitimate reason. I wouldn't want gossip or talk to affect either of us at our jobs. Was I "in the wrong" here? I don't particularly feel like I need to "apologize" for what I did or said. However, I will do anything I can to relax her this weekend on our trip.
PogoStick Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I don't think you're wrong but without know all the details it's difficult to say definitively. It's generally unprofessional to bring your relationship to work. A single hug, no big deal. But how many couples do you see cuddling at work? There's your answer.
jen1447 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 Is this a secret romance or sth? Otherwise IMO it's fine (in a professional context) to show affection, as long as it's 'in the wings' so to speak, during down time, and it isn't extreme like you're shoving your tongue down her throat or grabbing her boobs or getting all huggy for like 5 minutes. (Tho there's a time and place for that at work too. )
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I don't think you were wrong but I do think she just needed a hug. So why not walk off to a quieter area for 5 minutes or explain that you do not want people gossiping about the pair of you and tonight she is going to get hugged a lot. A rub on the shoulder or touch on an arm could have reassured her. After all that is all she was asking for.
Miss Peach Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 If she insisted on the hug in the middle of everything then I agree with you. Even with people who are just touchy it tends to promote a lot of office gossip. You could have asked her to somewhere more private and give her a hug there. She's probably mostly looking for reassurance that you're cherishing her feelings and will be her knight in shining armor in the same way you want to feel respected. Women don't like feeling like their feelings are being dismissed - even if it seems illogical.
introverted1 Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I think your gf is being a bit unreasonable. You were at a work function, which generally is not the place for "being held." Also, unless you left something out, the issue was that she was frustrated with a work project. Frustrations at work are fairly commonplace... how did she cope before you and she started dating? 1
katiegrl Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 I think your gf is being a bit unreasonable. You were at a work function, which generally is not the place for "being held." Also, unless you left something out, the issue was that she was frustrated with a work project. Frustrations at work are fairly commonplace... how did she cope before you and she started dating? lol... I just love your posts introverted.... you and I must be kindred spirits or something, we agree on SO many things! Needless to say I completely agree with this^^. Some women really do take things to the extreme sometimes.... IMHO! 1
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