mortensorchid Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 I said I would never internet date again after the pyscho who would not stop calling / texting me for being stood up after he stood me up the day before. And I followed through with it. I am not on any dating websites or apps, I am working all the time like a slave at 3 jobs. I am not as active in my social life because work is taking so much time and energy from me (I work at a group home for the developmentally disabled most weekdays and every other weekend Saturday and Sunday, substitute teach on my afternoons / days off from the home, and drive for Lyft here and there). And ... I never meet anyone. It can truly be said that the internet is one of the few places we have anymore to meet people, but I stay busy at earning money and doing things. And take away that factor? I am surrounded by mostly women at either job. I learned once and for all that coworkers are not friends, so of course I can never have that factor come into it as a means to meet people. I'm ... Alone. And I guess that's okay. This seems to be my place in life. I've never had close girlfriends as in a group I was with, I drift between many groups and I know everyone. Someone I went to college with said I am not one of those people to her - she said I would never marry and/or have kids. I'm starting to believe that's true but I don't want it to be. I just want to be with someone, is that so hard to ask for? Apparently it really is.
Lansing Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 I know the feeling. My friend keeps telling me to do internet dating again (I tried it 5+ years ago) and I just don't think it is worth it. I would rather meet someone in real life. The last people I have dated I have met in real life but I don't meet people through work or other social setting. Usually I meet people through volunteering. The last girl I asked out rejected me (I was more just curious to hang out with her/even be friends) and kind of mad me re-evaluate where I am at since she had seemed very friendly during our interactions. Anyway, I know you message it probably more a way to vent and get it out there but I would recommend volunteering or doing some kind of hobby/class outside of work.
Author mortensorchid Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 I know the feeling. My friend keeps telling me to do internet dating again (I tried it 5+ years ago) and I just don't think it is worth it. I would rather meet someone in real life. The last people I have dated I have met in real life but I don't meet people through work or other social setting. Usually I meet people through volunteering. The last girl I asked out rejected me (I was more just curious to hang out with her/even be friends) and kind of mad me re-evaluate where I am at since she had seemed very friendly during our interactions. Anyway, I know you message it probably more a way to vent and get it out there but I would recommend volunteering or doing some kind of hobby/class outside of work. I do a lot of that - Active with an adult literacy organization, theater company and martial arts. No luck with any of those avenues. Old people, gays and kids. But it looks good on my resume. I just keep moving forward.
preraph Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 When i was in my 20s I had times I just thought I'd be miserable unless I met a man who loved me enough back. But as I got older, I stopped caring very much. I've seen my friends with too many jerks and putting up with too much and not having control over their own schedules. It will either happen for you or it won't. But don't settle unless you just want kids that bad to have a lackluster marriage for it that will probably end in divorce. You might meet just the right guy sometime. You can never tell.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 My life is pretty similar. Mostly work with a little fun here and there, recently moved so no close friends nearby, nothing in sight on the horizon romantically. I'm getting better at making the best of it as it is, but of course I have my moments. I just want to be with someone, is that so hard to ask for? Apparently it really is. It's not hard to find someone to be with, but for some, it's harder to find someone you really want to be with. I'm open to romantic love and hope for it, but learning to accept the fact that it might not happen for me. I do think it's important to focus your thoughts toward what you want, rather than what you don't want or are afraid of. Visualizing and focusing on your desires helps manifest them into being. Find fun, excitement, eagerness, and joy in your life wherever they exist. You might have to start with the smallest things to celebrate at first, the very basics of what is good in your life. I have found that whatever I focus on and think about, good or bad, tends to amplify.
Space Ritual Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 You know, Being alone for awhile is not always a bad thing. After my engagement went tits up I dated women that I normally would not even try to ask out solely because i was trying to convince myself that my fiance's infidelity was not my fault. So I really went in with both feet and ended up damaging my psyche far worse than the initial infidelity had. I bounced around from woman to woman on a short term basis in some effort to regain something I had lost. I tried O.L.D. in it's infancy and I was catfished before i even knew what it meant. So anything further in that vein was ruled out. As I got older I started to date younger and younger to the point where I had ZERO in common with anyone I dated other than their physical appearance. So all of those episodes were short lived. I guess what I am trying to say is that when we put so much pressure on ourselves to not be alone we have a knack to pair up with people that are really bad for us. It literally took 20 years and screwing around with a lot of Ho's to figure it out. I am alone now and have been for a little over a year. My last GF was 24 years my junior, and while the sex was great, that really was the only thing that was great about it. and that too was short lived. Even though you may lament being alone periodically, please don't let it get to you. I should have sought out quality over quantity, and I didn't. I only have myself to blame. Don't sell yourself short. Usually the good ones come along after literally all the others have been exhausted.
PogoStick Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 If your complaint is that there are no men in your typical day then the obvious solution is to get a new hobby or two that includes them. Volleyball in the winter. Softball or soccer once it warms up. Hiking or biking groups. There's a board game group here that meets weekly at a bar. Some pretty attractive couples have shown up. 75% of players are men, and not ALL of them are total nerds. Guys would be very happy if you showed up.
BluEyeL Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 There are a lot of people who met and got married through OLD, so it does work. I think it's worth it. Key to a good partnership is kindness. Look for a kind man, not a good looking one or one who gives you crazy butterflies at the first date. Nerds may actually be fine. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2016 Posted October 14, 2016 If you enjoy eating bananas would you stop after having a bad one? Probably not. You would throw the bad banana away then go get another one. Don't blame the banana tree just because you picked a bad one from its branches...
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