ShadowReaper Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 (edited) Okay, this is quite a long story, so I must apologise now. I'll give you a quick run down of me and her and why the relationship was toxic, but the best I've ever had. I regret my past a lot, I used to be a massive fighter. Extremely family and friends orientated, while being very sadistic, and in many ways, masochistic, I have always hated these traits, but she loved them. I used to fight for very little reason, and as a result, I was very scarred. I met her through my best-friend, who was dating her at the time, and as such, I had no interest in her at all, as I was dating her best-friend, but me and her was never properly introduced. They split up at the same time we split up, and me and my friend fell out. I chose to speak to her as there was nothing holding us back anymore, and she very quickly took a massive liking to me, but I was oblivious. This was 3 years ago. Eventually, we hooked up, and I realised that me and her had a massive amount in common and as such, she fell in love with me, but mine was still only liking her. Very soon into our relationship, we slept together, and took each others virginity, which we both remembered very vividly and it basically held us together, we had sex almost 6 times a week, for the next 3 years. I had a massive amount of trouble opening up about my emotions, and letting people in. I eventually gave in, when we were laying together in a field, and I told her that I loved her. This moment made her cry for almost the entire week, and she was so happy for the rest of the relationship, this was about 3 months in, because I realised how much she meant to me and let her into my heart. I had always been cold to her before that. We had quite a few issues where I begun talking to other women, but before I did anything stupid, she stopped me, and set me on the right path. We were each others first love, and it was clear, and we worked, despite me being highly sadistic, and her being highly masochistic. She remembers this, but ultimately forgave me. We had a very, very mutually abusive relationship however. We both used emotional abuse tricks on eachother, but we always fought through them and ended up stronger. We have broken up multiple times, I have instantly gone no contact and she has always come back, but before she came back, she had always spoken to her ex, and then got straight back with me. She knew I hated him, and she'd use it as a way to annoy me, or to rebound quickly. We were strong until a few weeks ago. She became a tiny bit distant, and asked to meet me for a "chat," but refused to come to my house, so we met up in an alleyway, where we usually meet if we had a bone to pick and neither of our houses were free, and as soon as I got there, she complained about something, but I asked if she simply wanted to come back to mine as I want hugs and cuddles, she just smiled and agreed and came with me. We laid there for hours, hugging and kissing, until she kept begging for sex, so we had it and she kept saying "I love you," and told me that she never wants to let me go. I walked her home and she was smiling like she has never smiled before. A day later, she tells me she is committing suicide, so I go into a panic mode, and find her standing on a street corner. I hugged her and talked her down from it, and she tells me that the kid has done something to me,(i'd rather not go into.) so I just shrug and tell its all okay, and then she tells me she wants a break of one week, so I just agree, and say, "whatever it takes to help you get better." She refused to take my side, despite him doing something to her boyfriend, who she supposedly loves. She broke down as I was walking away from her, and she tells me that everything is over, I'm obviously hurt and try and find out why, but she leaves like that. In the morning, I wake up and find myself blocked on absolutely everything of hers, and then, 10 days later, she has put on Facebook that she is now in a Relationship with her ex. This happened on the September 22nd, and she put on Facebook on October 2nd. Of course, I tried to speak to her at the College on the Monday, she agreed to meet me, and then didn't show up. Didn't unblock me or anything. I saw her on the Friday at her work, and I stupidly, and obviously pleaded for her to come back, but she told me she might like someone else, which was on the 30th of September, which was when I decided to simply walk away after speaking to her on Friday, walk away and give up, cold turkey. Then on the Sunday, (the 2nd) she put on Facebook she is dating this other guy. He is the complete opposite to me, absolutely spineless and completely incompatible with her, he is immature and hasn't grown up. She has shown she's quite fickle or that she has GIGS. (Grass is Greener Syndrome.) I miss her immensely as those 3 years were the best of my life, but I am moving on effectively, I want her back, but i'm just a little confused about the situation, and want an outside opinion on whether or not it is a rebound, or if it is GIGS. Sure, i'd love to get back with her, but I shouldn't get my hopes too high. Any further questions I will answer ASAP. Edited October 13, 2016 by ShadowReaper
ExpatInItaly Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Healthy, sustainable and long-lasting relationships don't look like this, OP. Emotional abuse and multiple break-ups are signs of serious dysfunction, not love or strength. If you want more of the same immature drama, sit back and see what she does. She obviously still likes her ex in some way to be doing this. It won't change because neither of you seems to understand basic respect and for some reason think toxic behaviour makes you stronger. Obviously, that's not true or you would still be together. If, however, you decide you would prefer a happy life, you need to move on. She isn't ready for a mature, adult relationship.
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