LurkerXX Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Well, I guess my main reason to write this is for just some support. It has been a couple months so the raw shock of it has worn off, and I have spent my time overthinking it. I was ghosted by someone who I was in a six month relationship with, not just a someone though. They were my friend and a family friend for over 10 years. I did know in my heart that this was something that could go up in smoke, as we are both rather long-term singles types who are both rather naive and inexperienced, for our age, in regards to relationships. I never thought he would just disappear on me though. And the rest of my family too. I was worried something may have happened, as he can go into non-communication(before we had ever went out, his dad had died and he did not let anyone know for a couple of months, even when we were putting together winter camping plans). I actually checked obituaries for his mom or a friend that was undergoing cancer treatment. Before it was a call every other day, often hour or two (long distance); then nothing. I tried contact occasionally once or twice a week for three weeks, and then paid him a visit, hoping he would level with me. He avoided me, so at that point, I left stud=ff at the doorstep, and went home. We loved a lot of the same things, outdoors, hiking and biking, wildlife watching, camping, and had a lot of fun together, and talked about all sorts of things. Sex was great too. I truely do not understand what the hell happened, and probably never will. I have been keeping busy, doing stuff with meet-ups and friends. I guess I am just looking for another outlet, some support, any ideas on how to let this go and move on.
aloneinaz Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Reading these threads can help you understand how common what you're going through is. Obviously, he didn't want to continue and didn't feel the need to explain himself. Your best option is to treat him like he's dead and move on with your life. I wouldn't bother wondering why this or that happened or what's going on in his life right now. It only keeps him in the front of your mind which isn't helping. Keep staying busy. Date when you're ready. Time passing w/absolute no contact, no searching social media for him and potentially meeting someone new will put him fully in the rear view mirror. 3
Author LurkerXX Posted October 13, 2016 Author Posted October 13, 2016 I did ask him to let me know if he didn't want to see me anymore, over a message, but no answer. Complete cold sholder. No drug or alcohol problems. The rest of his family was extremely conservative, which is different from me....so perhaps that. He was conservative, but not extreme. But that is par for the course and not unusual in a state that turns dark blue if looking at women only votes, and bright red if looking at male only votes. So maybe it was values. Maybe it was the long distance. Maybe there was something really bothering him but he was really good at compartamentalizing; he was always very enthusiastic with me and on the phone. So, it is something that I just have to accept; at least a part of me was angry enough, besides being hurt and sad, to know that this was a cruel way to end a relationship, so that has helped me move on a little.
Toodaloo Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Maybe it was the long distance. Long distance never works... Follow his lead and do not contact him. Ignore if/ when he contacts you. 1
Nadine123 Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Hi I was ghosted too by someone I really love, but I later on found out it was for someone else. I know how much it hurts, especially that we will never get an answer but what I can tell you is that he did you a favour, Imagine if you were with this person for years or even got married for him to go and do this to you. The fact that he didnt bother giving you an explanation shows that he doesnt really care about your feelings, and that is all you need to know. Stay strong and trust me, time does heal.
VeveCakes Posted October 13, 2016 Posted October 13, 2016 Another one who was ghosted...its so cruel. Just keep trying to do what you are doing...its definitely the hardest to let go without closure.
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