Losing Men to Other Women

[Ironcouch888]

Losing men to other women: what is wrong with me?

 

The Question: has anyone noticed that they lose a man that they are interested in to other women?

 

 

 

You see the guy first, he's into you and you think you are creating a friendship. then all of a sudden he loses interest or so it seems and is with the other girl or someone else.

Are you not interesting? Are you boring?

 

Background, my best friend who is male introduced me to a guy friend of his (gorgeous). We became friends, going out to eat, and other things, again thought working up to friends and getting to know one another.

 

My other best friends sister slept with him, and my other best friend moved to Atlanta and he moved near by she slept with him and got pregnant. I didn't even know they were interested in him. even though he was gorgeous and a body like a god.

 

This is not the first time. What am I doing wrong, I see it in the present day.

Again, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

 

These females are aggressive I can't do that, I'm a lady and have class.

[basil67]

It's quite simple actually. The problem is that you're wanting to be friends.

 

For a man to want to be your boyfriend, he needs to see you as sexually desirable. This doesn't mean that you should throw yourself at him, but it does mean that you need to up the ante from just being friends.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Losing men to other women: what is wrong with me?

 

The Question: has anyone noticed that they lose a man that they are interested in to other women?

 

You see the guy first, he's into you and you think you are creating a friendship. then all of a sudden he loses interest or so it seems and is with the other girl or someone else.

Are you not interesting? Are you boring?

 

Background, my best friend who is male introduced me to a guy friend of his (gorgeous). We became friends, going out to eat, and other things, again thought working up to friends and getting to know one another.

 

My other best friends sister slept with him, and my other best friend moved to Atlanta and he moved near by she slept with him and got pregnant. I didn't even know they were interested in him. even though he was gorgeous and a body like a god.

 

This is not the first time. What am I doing wrong, I see it in the present day.

Again, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

 

These females are aggressive I can't do that, I'm a lady and have class.

 

Your "friends" are aggressive, that is, SEXUALLY open. Really attractive guys (and girls) know that they are attractive and could easily find the next fling, so if you play coy in any way, you lose to the next person fooled by looks only.

[angel.eyes]

What exactly are you upset about? Getting pregnant after a one night stand with a guy who sleeps around with everyone? A promiscuous guy who obviously doesn't use protection if he's getting his flings pregnant? Let's see--pregnancy, STI risk,... Sorry, but I'm not seeing how any of this would be any kind of prize.

[ChickiePops]

It's quite simple actually. The problem is that you're wanting to be friends.

 

For a man to want to be your boyfriend, he needs to see you as sexually desirable. This doesn't mean that you should throw yourself at him, but it does mean that you need to up the ante from just being friends.

 

This.

 

Also..you essentially just called your 'best friends' trashy by saying that you're not like them because you're classy..and they slept with a guy you were interested in (did they KNOW you were interested?).

 

Are you sure these girls are your friends?

[katiegrl]

 

We became friends, going out to eat, and other things, again thought working up to friends and getting to know one another.

 

 

That's all well and good but what is lacking in this scenario is sexual chemistry.

 

When it's "there" it doesn't need to be forced, meaning you don't need to a damn thing except be yourself, which if you're 'feeling it' means flirting and showing interest (romantic, NOT friendship).

 

With these other women, he mostly did feel sexual chemistry with them ... and vice versa, which they demonstrated via flirting or whatevs.

 

So don't beat yourself up... you didn't do anything "wrong" per se... there just wasn't any sexual chemistry going on.... and with these other women, there was.

[basil67]

Out of curiousity, are you talking about the guy who was flirting with you while he was married and has just become single?

 

.

[normal person]

You see the guy first, he's into you and you think you are creating a friendship. then all of a sudden he loses interest or so it seems and is with the other girl or someone else.

Are you not interesting? Are you boring?

 

Background, my best friend who is male introduced me to a guy friend of his (gorgeous). We became friends, going out to eat, and other things, again thought working up to friends and getting to know one another.

My other best friends sister slept with him, and my other best friend moved to Atlanta and he moved near by she slept with him and got pregnant. I didn't even know they were interested in him. even though he was gorgeous and a body like a god.

 

This is not the first time. What am I doing wrong, I see it in the present day.

Again, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

 

These females are aggressive I can't do that, I'm a lady and have class.

 

You're friend-zoning yourself. You assume you have to be friends before anything more develops. Wrong. When people are attracted to each other, they don't have a mandated period of time beforehand where they just act totally platonic -- they have a sexual tension. By trying to be friends or whatever, you've removed that and therefore taken a seemingly non-sexual path with these guys. Your friends who maintain the sexual tension are the ones who aren't friend-zoned.