kiddy Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Hey all I will try to keep this as brief as possible. I'm 30 yrs old, I've been going out with my girlfriend (25 yrs old) for 3 years, we live together. Things are fine, we don't fight, we hang out a lot, she is so kind, patient, loving and caring. However... For the past 2 years I have been working with this girl "Lara". When I first met her, I made a mental note to stay away, she's a stunning and sharp business woman. Other than thinking of those initial thoughts, I switched off completely, but I did have to work with her on a day basis. After 3 months of working together on a daily basis, we started to get closer. I didn't put in any effort, it just happened. We talked more about relationships, life etc. We went out for drinks. Whenever people saw us talking, they thought something was up based on how we looked at each other. Once again there was no intention here to esculate things, they just happened. It was pretty obvious where this was heading. 2 years down the road... After trying to block each other from all social media. Not talking to each other for months at a time. She moved country for a period. She left her job for another industry. We still come back to square one, which is this seemingly unstoppable connection. I'm stuck with a big decision I have to make. 1. Do I stay with my current girlfriend? I really couldn't think of any flaw about her other than I lack mental stimulation with her. She's the sweetest, kindest, loving. She is smart, but our interests are just not aligned. Am I just being a selfish ? Am I taking things for granted, and don't know what an amazing girlfriend I have? 2. Do I break things off with my girlfriend and start something with Lara? I would have to break every rule in my book to make this happen. I've never wanted to leave one relationship for another girl, I wanted to make sure I had a break alone. But man do we click, we have strong connection. I thought it was just a phase, but its been 2 years. or...3. Do I break things off with my girlfriend, and just take time for my own. Which I honestly doubt will happen as I would fall towards one of the two options above. ...help?! I would love to know what kind of logic you would use to work through this super tough decision. P.S. The past week I've moved out of home to a hotel for the week to take time out to think, I've seen two counsellors, and still I'm lost.
BAcK Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Hey all I will try to keep this as brief as possible. I'm 30 yrs old, I've been going out with my girlfriend (25 yrs old) for 3 years, we live together. Things are fine, we don't fight, we hang out a lot, she is so kind, patient, loving and caring. However... For the past 2 years I have been working with this girl "Lara". When I first met her, I made a mental note to stay away, she's a stunning and sharp business woman. Other than thinking of those initial thoughts, I switched off completely, but I did have to work with her on a day basis. After 3 months of working together on a daily basis, we started to get closer. I didn't put in any effort, it just happened. We talked more about relationships, life etc. We went out for drinks. Whenever people saw us talking, they thought something was up based on how we looked at each other. Once again there was no intention here to esculate things, they just happened. It was pretty obvious where this was heading. 2 years down the road... After trying to block each other from all social media. Not talking to each other for months at a time. She moved country for a period. She left her job for another industry. We still come back to square one, which is this seemingly unstoppable connection. I'm stuck with a big decision I have to make. 1. Do I stay with my current girlfriend? I really couldn't think of any flaw about her other than I lack mental stimulation with her. She's the sweetest, kindest, loving. She is smart, but our interests are just not aligned. Am I just being a selfish ? Am I taking things for granted, and don't know what an amazing girlfriend I have? 2. Do I break things off with my girlfriend and start something with Lara? I would have to break every rule in my book to make this happen. I've never wanted to leave one relationship for another girl, I wanted to make sure I had a break alone. But man do we click, we have strong connection. I thought it was just a phase, but its been 2 years. or...3. Do I break things off with my girlfriend, and just take time for my own. Which I honestly doubt will happen as I would fall towards one of the two options above. ...help?! I would love to know what kind of logic you would use to work through this super tough decision. P.S. The past week I've moved out of home to a hotel for the week to take time out to think, I've seen two counsellors, and still I'm lost. Stick with your current gf mate. There is no logic, no science, no second thoughts. You have an amazing gf and u know it. Don't lose her.
Toodaloo Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 or...3. Do I break things off with my girlfriend, and just take time for my own. Which I honestly doubt will happen as I would fall towards one of the two options above. This one. Its going to take time. A week is not long enough.
aloneinaz Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Think this through carefully. Recognize the impact it would have on your current GF if you suddenly end it with her. It will rip her world apart. You will hurt her in a big way and RISK losing her forever. Many folks in her position will accept the news and NEVER speak to the dumper again. Make sure you understand that. My gut reaction is you've had a "thing" for this other gal for years. What if you start dating her and the only thing you have in common is the "stimulation" she provides? What if you're not compatible on other levels where you were with your current GF. The fact that you're considering this decision tells you you're probably not with the right woman who will make you happy long term. People who are happy and in love with their current partner don't consider what you're doing. Everyone has folks around them that they'd like to date if they were single. They just wouldn't consider ending a relationship with their current love to do it, as they are happy and content with them.
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