Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 So 2 weeks ago I was on a 3rd "get-together/hang out" "date" with a girl on my birthday- she drove 30-45 min OUT of her way to the bar I was at with another friend. She then hung out for an hour or two came back with me (sigh to my parents house lol) to my place. We then sat outside (with occassionally my mother) for like another 2-3 hours. When I walked her to her car... I kissed her (first kiss) and she kissed back.. like a 2 minute kiss session and she then went home... she then cold shouldered me the rest of the week- and stood me up on a date that weekend! lol I talked to her the following monday to ask- hey i called you whats up? I got lame excuses... so I waited another 2 weeks - when our final class exam was finished- her and I walked out to our cars... I asked her if she'd like to see a movie this saturday night. Her: "ummm.. yeah.. ok Sure!" Me: "I'll call you twice just in case ;)" her: "haha ok" "haha ok have a good night" and we parted. Well tonight I called about 8:30... and lo and behld no call back! I'm not freaking out or anything - I just wanted to give this cute girl a chance and see if her lame excuses were actually factual excuses. If she doesnt call back - no harm done to me, I hang out with my friends and do whatever... And I know its only 3 hours since I called her... I'm giving her till 6pm tomorrow before I call once more- and then if no call back THEN.... I'm calling a 3rd time to tell her shes a flaky beotch, I didnt appreciate it, and to have a great life. just for your entertainment/pleasure/gossip/info ... lol we'll see how this progresses tomorrow evening.
ggallin13 Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Don't call her, man. Ever, ever again. I know it's tough, because she's hot and you kissed her already, but judging from the comments you made to her you have already lost your edge as a BF. You need to exude confidence,, so when you asked her out and she said ok you ask when to pick her up and do that. If she blows you off she's bitch and you're better off. But telling her you'll call her TWICE etc. makes you look weak and desperate, and trust me, hot women get that coming at them all the time. Forget her. The only chance you have now is if she wonders why YOU didn't call and sees you as a challenge. BUt it's probably too late. Of course, it doesn't sound like you care all that much, so more power to you! But you'll look pretty weak and lame if you call her again. Good luck!
Author Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by ggallin13 Don't call her, man. Ever, ever again. I know it's tough, because she's hot and you kissed her already, but judging from the comments you made to her you have already lost your edge as a BF. You need to exude confidence,, so when you asked her out and she said ok you ask when to pick her up and do that. If she blows you off she's bitch and you're better off. But telling her you'll call her TWICE etc. makes you look weak and desperate, and trust me, hot women get that coming at them all the time. Forget her. The only chance you have now is if she wonders why YOU didn't call and sees you as a challenge. BUt it's probably too late. Of course, it doesn't sound like you care all that much, so more power to you! But you'll look pretty weak and lame if you call her again. Good luck! You're more thank likely right - On the other hand the whole "The Rules" thing = rules someone made and I'm one to go about stretching rules (usually until I get fired if its work related)... so I gotta do the same here... This is just drinks and a movie too... if anything its practice ... I dont mind dating for practice. Or practicing dating lol. In any case I'll call her one time tomorrow otherwise I never have to see this chick again anyhow (no more classes with her). lame and weak.. ouch.. this is what us guys are reduced to now.... when we give someone the benefit of the doubt... we're lame and weak.. that very well could be. But until I find it in myself to tell the girl I wanna date, "You're gonna come pick me up, we're gonna go run my errands, then we're gonna **** in the fitting room at (name some trendy guy clothing store), then i'm dropping you off by 10pm so I can go out and hang with my friends, and not speak to you again cause I dont give two ****s about you"... I'll be lame and weak.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 No big loss to you. I don't what is inside her head but you don't need it. Maybe she just is not interestes in you or she is doing the rules. Either way you don't it. Any woman that follows that rules book you need to stay away from. Ever since that book came out women have been acting weird with men.
Author Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 :::tangent... with a purpose::: This is unrelated to this girl but its topically related, I work in retail and a customer had a problem (2 for 1 where you have to buy 2 of same product to get the discount.. 1 = original price) - and w/o me realizing the circumstances ... she gets up set at me. Theres a sign up. In the group of product the sign covers, there are 3 things the sign doesnt cover.... mixed in. So she of course wants the discount on the 1 product thats not actually covered on the sign. Now I understand that a small discount is no big deal.. but discounts on many transactions in many stores add up. The customer had the gall to say its not her responsibility to make sure the product under the sign is the right one... when the product is there she should get the discount. My manage of course kissed her ass in normal retail fashion... where as I'm holding my tongue thinking.. while true its not your responsibility. to make sure the right product is under the right sign... it is your ****ING RESPONSIBILITY to have COMMON ****ING SENSE about seeing the sign says one thing- the product you have says another... because you could have just put that there! but NO we cant do that ... just in case corporate gets a complaint from 1 customer. Despite all the good things customers normally say?! We cant stick up for ourselves when we could have been ripped off.. as long as the customer is happy. ::end tangent:: wow... 3 dont call her(s)... that quick... has it gotten so bad - that we cant even stick up for ourselves anymore? I shouldnt call? Not even send her a text that says thanx for being such a bitch.. or anything? What makes her so important she cant have common courtesy... what makes the girl/guy who does this to YOU... so important you dont let them know what they did was ****ty?
blue16 Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Don't call her. She ignored you for a couple weeks, blew off your call...and you're still chasing her? C'mon quit now while you're still somewhat ahead.
Swamp Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Dasani, Look, the problem with you is the amount of self-respect you have. You care about yourself, you protect your feelings. But trust me. The reason "The Rules" were invented was not arbitrarily. These rules were created because they come from an almost SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN thought process people have. You aren't attractive to her. You are into her without her having a wonder. You have no game. You have no skills in attracting here. Sure, it's all William Wallace of you and noble to act as if "stretching" the rules will get you somewhere. But it won't. EVER. You told her you'd call her twice? And the only comparison to someone who wouldn't call her twice is some dip**** that goes to the lockeroom and doesn't give 2 ****s about her? Uhhhh. #1, You don't give 2 ****s about her. You don't even know her. #2, Just because a guy is interesting/attractive to her does NOOOOOOOOOOOT mean he is a stereotypical jerk. It's funny. Put a guy who knows what he is doing in the attraction department up against this girl and he would be sleeping next to her now. Seriously man. Bend the rules all you want. Act as if you are some unique person amongst BILLIONS of people who is the first person to be a nice, but when it comes down to it? You FAILED TO BE ATTRACTICE. C'mon man. 1. You took her back to your parent's house 2. Your mother intruded upon your company 3. You told her you'd call her twice. This is your fault. She isn't a "beotch." She doesn't ****ing like you, and shouldn't. You didn't provide a reason to. Guys who act like they want to be a girl's knight in shining armor aren't always attractive. It's almost disrespectful to women to degrade them that way. What, no woman can care for herself? All women are on the 24 hour look out for some nice guy to save them? Women NEED love, and to be treated right? Please. Women are almost, if not more, mentally and emotionally strong than men are. Learn how to be attractive and quit blaming females because you sleep alone.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 The rules are not scientifically proven. That book was invented as a way for a woman to snag a man but it drives men up the wall. I find it ironic that the woman who wrote that book is divorced. The best advice for a man is to be themselves and never give up their dignity. Hold out for a woman that love you for who you are because when you do she will be a rare treasure. The other women you meet in the mantimes are just to play with. It is true though that many women mistake kindness for w eakness. My ex wife thought I was week and she found out just how week I was when she acheated on me and I left her ass and came out of the divorce unscathed. She didn't get any money, spousal support or anything. She got nada because I told her that if she tried to take me to the cleaners I would hire the best divorce lawyer in town. Strangely enough now she is begging me to take her back because I showed some backbone. If a woman doesn't repsect a man he doesn;t have a chance with her. Men need to have more balls and things would quickly change around.
Author Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by Swamp Dasani, Look, the problem with you is the amount of self-respect you have. You care about yourself, you protect your feelings. I dont see a lot of problems with my self respect. I like who I am. I'm college educated, I have a great familiy, I goto and show up for work on time, and to hell if someone is going to walk all over me! But trust me. The reason "The Rules" were invented was not arbitrarily. These rules were created because they come from an almost SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN thought process people have. You aren't attractive to her. You are into her without her having a wonder. You have no game. You have no skills in attracting here. While you're right, shes not interested in one way or another- you cant knwo shes NOT interested until she doesnt call. When she didnt two weeks ago, I talked to her after- not asking "boo hoo why didn you call me?" I told her, "I called you this weekend - I received no answer... what happend?" Then she gave lame excuses (like I dont know how to work my phone). Well in the ensuing 2 weeks, we were talking in class like everything was fine, I wasnt going to cry over spilt milk- it sucked she didnt call me back but hey, I'm not gonna let that affect my life much if at all. And I didnt- when she stood me up that first time- I took someone else to the event I had tix for.. and had a great time, I have plans with that person this week. I knew it could have be that she was using me- she was almost failing at the class and I was one of 3 people w/ an A. But ya know I had to take the chance. If I didnt't then I might be "lame and weak" for not doing it. You told her you'd call her twice? And the only comparison to someone who wouldn't call her twice is some dip**** that goes to the lockeroom and doesn't give 2 ****s about her? Uhhhh. #1, You don't give 2 ****s about her. You don't even know her. #2, Just because a guy is interesting/attractive to her does NOOOOOOOOOOOT mean he is a stereotypical jerk. It's funny. Put a guy who knows what he is doing in the attraction department up against this girl and he would be sleeping next to her now. C'mon man. 1. You took her back to your parent's house 2. Your mother intruded upon your company 3. You told her you'd call her twice. This is your fault. She isn't a "beotch." She doesn't ****ing like you, and shouldn't. You didn't provide a reason to. Its not as if I dont give 2 ****s about her... its that I have other things going on to give two ****s about anyone who would do this to me. I don't know her that well- thats what hanging out and such are for.... If she doesnt call me back then I was thinking I'd call her back- apparently to some people on here, I shouldnt call her back and I'm taking that into consideration... she doesnt deserve it. You all are probably right. As for interesting/funny... you dont know who I am in RL... and making her laugh was not a hard thing to do at all. I just gave the example of being the "alpha-male stereotypical jerk" because THAT is who The Rules pretty much WANTS you to be. I mean according to The Rules you arent allowed to act interested in the girl until like 2 months into dating the person. The rules- remember is still out to make money- they dont care if you actually get dates- theres not scientifically proven anything in that crap. You cannot use a single forumla to win over the opposite sex. Period. I know taking her to my house isnt the best action a guy can do to "win over" a girl... the cirumstances that night... I'm still wondering why she volunteered to come over- when she knew I lived at home too. And everythign although a bit odd stillw ent wel enough that we kissed when she left. I didnt try to overly impress her and I showed her what a small slice of my life was like.... because ya know I dont live by myself right now, I'm in college! She lives at home w/ her parents too. And my mother- while I wish it didnt happen... can intrude upon any place in her own house. Doesnt mean I'll even take someone back to wher eI live again though haha. And yeah I told her I'd call her twice- Ce La Vie. Had no clue - INFORMing someone that you may call twice was worse than actually calling twice. Because remember I still havent called a second time. Guys who act like they want to be a girl's knight in shining armor aren't always attractive. It's almost disrespectful to women to degrade them that way. What, no woman can care for herself? All women are on the 24 hour look out for some nice guy to save them? Women NEED love, and to be treated right? Please. Women are almost, if not more, mentally and emotionally strong than men are. Learn how to be attractive and quit blaming females because you sleep alone. How is being polite, or trying again... acting like a knight in shining armor? I wasn't trying to solve her problems, I wasn't trying to impress her with a hundred dollar meal, and buy her gifts! I asked her out for drinks and a movie on a saturday night! I dont degrade who she is as a woman, but I'm more than happy to degrade the person who is disrespectful enough to tell a person "yes" and then not call. And yeah there are a lot of women are mentally and emotionally stronger than some men- I get along great with women who are as strong as I am, mentally and emotionally. Your sleeping alone comments jsut prove you're more locker-room type that I was speaking about earlier.... I make no excuse for wanting to be interested in a girl, but that doesnt mean I have to rush to sleep with her! (now I'm not stupid... when I see an attractive girl- and I have fun with the attractive girl on a few dates... I imagine what they'd be like in bed... sure... everyone does that at some point- but I wasnt there yet.) Last, Sleeping alone is not difficult. Its the lame asses who fele like they HAVE to sleep with someone... they really need some help.
crazy_grl Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by Dasani has it gotten so bad - that we cant even stick up for ourselves anymore? I shouldnt call? Not even send her a text that says thanx for being such a bitch.. or anything? What makes her so important she cant have common courtesy... what makes the girl/guy who does this to YOU... so important you dont let them know what they did was ****ty? Just because she doesn't have common courtesy doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you send her a text or a message calling her a b!tch, you'll just show that you weren't worth her giving you a call back in the first place. Depending on how you said it, I don't think saying you were going to call twice is that bad. From some guys, I think it'd sound pathetic, but I can picture some guys saying it so that it sounds witty and funny. It depends on you. I don't think you should call her back if you already left her a message. If she's going to call you, she will. Calling again won't get her to call you back. It will make you look a bit desperate though. I understand what you're saying about giving her a chance, but you've already given her one by calling once. If she doesn't call back, just move on and forget about her. That's what people were talking about when they said to have self respect. It's respeccting yourself enough to say, "If this girl doesn't want me enough to return my call, then I'm not going to spend any more of my time on her." And that includes additional calls or messages to tell her what a b!tch she is. And forget The Rules. They're bulls***. This isn't about them. It's about respecting yourself. You sound like a good guy, and I think you do have confidence and self respect. Otherwise you wouldn't stand up to the people here like you're doing. However, I don't think you realize that you're giving her additional chances to disrespect you without needing to. Then when she disrepects you more, it gets you upset and you maybe start to act like a jerk. Don't give women more chances than you need to. If they're interested, they'll make some effort on their own to be with you. Making excuses and exceptions for them is only disrespecting yourself.
Neptune Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 I think the only thing that matters is you did the best you could. At least you made an effort. So you never have to lay awake in bed at night and wonder what if. So, the situation bombed out. Such is the majority of dating and as always, hindsight is 20/20. You are learning along the way.
Author Dasani Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 well.. i wasnt going to really call her a b\tch lol... that was frustration at that point. I ave decided not to give her another call. If all of you are saying so... while I dont count that as overwhelming numbers or anything some of you had good suggestions backing up why. Normally I call once and dont leave a message and then the next day call and leave a message. This time I guess I was like, it didn't work the first way the first time, lemme try a diff way (message on 1st call). And no call back yet... so... no re-call to her. And yes crzy- that wa show I mentioned it back to her.. when I said I'd call twice it was in a humorous mood- i was paraphrasing up there. But guess the humor wasn't enough lol neptune- yeah but the kiss was now... two weeks ago >=\ lol so i didnt come away with anything much except for a memory. oh well... again... ce la vie.
crazy_grl Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by Dasani well.. i wasnt going to really call her a b\tch lol... that was frustration at that point. heh. That's good. You mentioned it a couple times, so I thought you were really thinking of doing it. I ave decided not to give her another call. If all of you are saying so... while I dont count that as overwhelming numbers or anything some of you had good suggestions backing up why. Normally I call once and dont leave a message and then the next day call and leave a message. This time I guess I was like, it didn't work the first way the first time, lemme try a diff way (message on 1st call). I think one call with a message is good. The problem with leaving no message is that you don't know for sure if they know you called or not because people's phones will tell them and some won't. When she gets your message, if she's into you, she'll give you a call. If not, oh well. No point in putting in more effort. Hopefully it goes better for you next time.
ggallin13 Posted July 10, 2005 Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by Dasani lame and weak.. ouch.. this is what us guys are reduced to now.... when we give someone the benefit of the doubt... we're lame and weak.. that very well could be. But until I find it in myself to tell the girl I wanna date, "You're gonna come pick me up, we're gonna go run my errands, then we're gonna **** in the fitting room at (name some trendy guy clothing store), then i'm dropping you off by 10pm so I can go out and hang with my friends, and not speak to you again cause I dont give two ****s about you"... I'll be lame and weak. I don't know what "rules" you are referring to, but it is a fact that people value what they work for more than what they get for free. Fawning all over someone who has already blown you off is lame and weak. Sorry. She has already dropped common courtesy toward you, why does she deserve even more consideration? I am not talking about mistreating women, or making them do exactly what you want to do all the time; rather it is about setting limits and asking to be treated with dignity and respect. Treat women with respect and be a gentleman all the time, but don't put up with any BS and always play it cool and women will find you attractive. Start fawning all over them and getting clingy and letting them treat you howeveer they want because you want to date them and you'll be broke, have lots of women as "friends" who couldn't care less about you and you'll go crazy eventually.
Author Dasani Posted July 10, 2005 Author Posted July 10, 2005 thanx all... I didnt call her the 2nd time, and I'm glad for it, nor did I recieve a call back- instead I had made plans with one of my friends and went out.
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