Redguitar35 Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 (edited) I feel like my life is driving into a ditch in a lot of ways. My boss is a moron who can't even write an email in proper English, despite having a PhD. I'm grossly underpaid for I do day to day. Half the time I've got all these school assignments to read and write and not enough time to do them. The other half I'm bored and lonely alone in my house because no one wants a relationship with me. I'm 30 and I've never had a relationship last longer than 3 months, seven years ago. I can't get past three dates with anyone I meet online. I'm not likely to become more marketable or attractive to women in the coming years. There's a lot of nights when I go to bed and fall asleep hoping a little bit that I won't wake up in the morning. There's no positive energy in my life right now, and I don't know what to do. Edited October 12, 2016 by Redguitar35
Recon33 Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 A few simple things you could do to elevate your mood are eating better, exercising, not drinking alcohol, and meditating. For me, I find that when I do these things I can think more clearly and it makes tackling whatever issues or things I want to improve in my life and moving forward a lot easier.
Buddhist Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 Okay let me address a few points here. 1. Your boss will always be a moron. No matter where you go or what you do this will always be the case. There is some cosmic force at play in this. Ask anyone, the number of moron's in highly paid positions is over-represented universally. So we can put that one to bed. It's just one of those things about life to accept. 2. Positive energy in your life is wholly you dependant. I know it seems logical to say that well my life is in the crapper so how can I have positive energy. But this another one of those universal laws, you have to create it yourself before it becomes a fixture in your external circumstances. The lifestyle basics already mentioned are a good start, another one is fixing up the way you view and think about life. There are mountains of books on that subject, so go find one that speaks to you personally, read and apply it. 3. People entering your life for relationships (the kind that don't suck your soul should dry, that is) never happen until point 2 has been addressed, practised and applied for some time. Better get working on point 2. 3
Fair Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 It sounds like you might be suffering from depression. It wouldn't hurt to see a doctor. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 I concur with seeing a doctor. This should be step one. There are other steps you can take though to improve your situation. 1. read some books on charisma, practice 2. apply for new jobs 3. go out and do something you find worth while. Could be joining a club, volunteering etc. Just do something that is not work that you enjoy 4. eat properly 5. educate yourself and learn about new things 6. set yourself "goals" outside of work and dating, run 5 miles or learn a new language, be able to get your legs around your head, learn to bake a superb lemon drizzle cake... anything that is just for you. Leave dating alone for a bit until you feel better in yourself. It is not up to random strangers to make you feel good. Your happiness should come from you. Once you start feeling happier better things will come to you. Two reasons for this. You are more likely to be receptive to them and open to seeing them. Also you will be more likely to chase down the things you want rather than sitting at home getting fed up because you don't have them.
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 12, 2016 Author Posted October 12, 2016 Leave dating alone for a bit until you feel better in yourself. It is not up to random strangers to make you feel good. Your happiness should come from you. Once you start feeling happier better things will come to you. Two reasons for this. You are more likely to be receptive to them and open to seeing them. Also you will be more likely to chase down the things you want rather than sitting at home getting fed up because you don't have them. I sure wish that were true, but someone to cure my loneliness would make things so much better. I'm tired of doing things all by myself. That gets boring after you have been doing it for years. Being lonely is the worst feeling in the world. I feel overwhelmed by it. And when I try to bring people into my life who could make me less lonely, I just get indifference from them. 1
Vado Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 I sure wish that were true, but someone to cure my loneliness would make things so much better. I'm tired of doing things all by myself. That gets boring after you have been doing it for years. Being lonely is the worst feeling in the world. I feel overwhelmed by it. And when I try to bring people into my life who could make me less lonely, I just get indifference from them. Help other people. The best way to feel better is helping others. Even animals. I once saved a dog's life and it made me feel a lot better. Don't expect something in return immidiately, because than it's a trade. Good luck. 1
Gaeta Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 I feel like my life is driving into a ditch in a lot of ways. My boss is a moron who can't even write an email in proper English, despite having a PhD. I'm grossly underpaid for I do day to day. Half the time I've got all these school assignments to read and write and not enough time to do them. The other half I'm bored and lonely alone in my house because no one wants a relationship with me. I'm 30 and I've never had a relationship last longer than 3 months, seven years ago. I can't get past three dates with anyone I meet online. I'm not likely to become more marketable or attractive to women in the coming years. There's a lot of nights when I go to bed and fall asleep hoping a little bit that I won't wake up in the morning. There's no positive energy in my life right now, and I don't know what to do. Who would want to enter the life of a man that hates his job, complains of being underpaid and does nothing about it? is neglecting his school work? and that suffers from loneliness? No one can cure you from loneliness, only yourself. I know all about being alone, I was single for 10 years, yet I have never felt lonely once. Why? because I went after a challenging job, gave myself personal goals (fitness), made a point of nurturing all my relationships with family, friends, colleagues. I was whole on my own, when I started dating that was attractive to men. When women meet you they have to feel *this guy is pretty cool* not *this man is gonna suck the life out of me*
Redhead14 Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 I feel like my life is driving into a ditch in a lot of ways. My boss is a moron who can't even write an email in proper English, despite having a PhD. I'm grossly underpaid for I do day to day. Half the time I've got all these school assignments to read and write and not enough time to do them. The other half I'm bored and lonely alone in my house because no one wants a relationship with me. I'm 30 and I've never had a relationship last longer than 3 months, seven years ago. I can't get past three dates with anyone I meet online. I'm not likely to become more marketable or attractive to women in the coming years. There's a lot of nights when I go to bed and fall asleep hoping a little bit that I won't wake up in the morning. There's no positive energy in my life right now, and I don't know what to do. There's no positive energy in my life right now, and I don't know what to do -- Positive energy comes from within. Positive energy is what you create for yourself in spite of difficulties. Take this apart and prioritize everything. Focus on the things you can control/work on and accept the things you cannot change, i.e. your boss is one thing you cannot change. You're unhappy with your job, that is something you can change. Half the time I've got all these school assignments to read and write and not enough time to do them. The other half I'm bored -- If you've got that much school work, there shouldn't be room for boredom. You are unhappy with your dating life . . . take that out of the equation for a while and just get out there and socialize. Take the pressure off yourself to have a relationship. Find social activities. Try anything and everything new. Find something you can have a passion for. I can't get past three dates with anyone I meet online. -- There are people out there who aren't even getting one . . . I'm not likely to become more marketable or attractive to women in the coming years --- Oh, really? You're working on your education and getting a degree, are you not? That is something women will appreciate. Get out of this pattern of negative thinking and become proactive.
Toodaloo Posted October 12, 2016 Posted October 12, 2016 I sure wish that were true, but someone to cure my loneliness would make things so much better. I'm tired of doing things all by myself. That gets boring after you have been doing it for years. Being lonely is the worst feeling in the world. I feel overwhelmed by it. And when I try to bring people into my life who could make me less lonely, I just get indifference from them. Because they do not want to be responsible for your emotions and you are making them so. You know that someone to cure your loneliness is looking straight back at you when you look in the mirror. You are passing the buck here. Stop and take responsibility and do something about it yourself and you will feel a whole lot better.
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 17, 2016 Author Posted October 17, 2016 (edited) Okay let me address a few points here. Positive energy in your life is wholly you dependant. I know it seems logical to say that well my life is in the crapper so how can I have positive energy. But this another one of those universal laws, you have to create it yourself before it becomes a fixture in your external circumstances. The lifestyle basics already mentioned are a good start, another one is fixing up the way you view and think about life. There are mountains of books on that subject, so go find one that speaks to you personally, read and apply it. That doesnt make much sense to me. I don't really believe the idea that just thinking positive will create positive results. Life isn't that simple. I think it's a condescending thing to say, that if you look on the bright side things will turn around. That sounds like magical thinking to me. Edited October 17, 2016 by Redguitar35
Buddhist Posted October 17, 2016 Posted October 17, 2016 (edited) That doesnt make much sense to me. I don't really believe the idea that just thinking positive will create positive results. Life isn't that simple. I think it's a condescending thing to say, that if you look on the bright side things will turn around. That sounds like magical thinking to me. Have you ever seriously put it to the test? It's one thing to say well I don't think it will work. It's another to sincerely and honestly test the maxim. I don't mean think positive for 3 whole days look around and say well my life hasn't become sunshine and lollipops so this is BS. I mean for 30 days totally change your outlook on life. I know it works because I have been in far worse places than you are right now, and it has always served me to follow this principle. I don't recommend things to others I haven't tested myself and found them to work. It works because when your outlook is different so is your action and your energy and that influences the people around you. Nothing magical about that. The alternative is you sit around and wait for your life to somehow change without any effort from you. Now that sounds like magical thinking to me. Edited October 17, 2016 by Buddhist
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