Too soon to say I love you?

[Redhead14]

The point is that she likes to celebrate her birthday. If he cares about her, he will support that. If he's really not feeling well on that day, he should say something like "I know you like to celebrate your birthday, but I am really not feeling up to going out today. You go with your friends and have a good time. Let's you and I do something fun on Xday. I should be feeling better by then".

[ChatroomHero]

Why is it meaningless??? I LOVE my birthday and LOVE celebrating it. I turned 34 on Monday and having a big bash tonight. I'd be upset if my bf didn't show up. Unless he was dying. It seems he has "a headache" and is making an excuse.

 

Because it's a selfish, I'm the center of attention day. It's fine to celebrate and enjoy, but to expect someone who is sick to feel miserable for nothing more than an ego stroke is pretty selfish.

 

It's really no more important for an adult than any other Saturday at the bar. It's not a special day, everyone has them every year. Like you said you turned 34 on Monday but you are not celebrating until another day, just a randomly picked day to celebrate. If your bf had the flu and you were upset because he didn't come, well that would kind of make you a turd.

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't see the big deal. If he's not feeling well, he's not feeling well.

 

Go out and have fun with your friends.

[Jj66]

Birthdays are more important to some than others. My gf threw a birthday party for me complete with invitations. I'd never had a birthday with invitations in my life. I don't consider birthdays a big deal but she did. I appreciated it as an act of love on her part.

[preraph]

If he was really invested, he'd have asked you out for your birthday (and then possibly had to cancel because of his sinus infection.) He apparently didn't ask you about your birthday because he doesn't care enough to bother thinking about those things. If he didn't know it was coming, then when he found out, he should have made a date. He's not your boyfriend. I'm fine with you calling him one if you're sleeping together, but I would call him "a boyfriend," even to his face, and date other guys as well.

[Simple Logic]

Did you include your BF in making your birthday plans? Sounds to me like he is an after thought.

[Jadedbyluv]

I guess I felt that he was using his sickness as more of an excuse not to come. He's backed out on a lot of plans with my friends when I've invited him out so I thought he would definitely have come out for this one since it was for my bday. After speaking with him, he said it was of a kinda loaded event and meeting everybody. Then went all to say while he thinks we do have something really great and he does have feelings for me, he's not relationship material. So yay, happy birthday to me!

[smackie9]

Screw the bowling, get all dolled up and go clubbing with the girlies.

 

Most of my birthday celebrations..... I left the old man at home and danced til dawn.

[basil67]

Have you ever had a sinus infection Jaded? I suspect you wouldn't be so hard on him if you had.

 

He's feeling awful and then has to go meet new people on top of it. Give him a break.

[Redhead14]

Have you ever had a sinus infection Jaded? I suspect you wouldn't be so hard on him if you had.

 

He's feeling awful and then has to go meet new people on top of it. Give him a break.

 

It appears that he has broken up with her . . . he told her he has feelings for her, but he's not "relationship material". Which has been evidenced in the OPs other threads.

[Jadedbyluv]

Have you ever had a sinus infection Jaded? I suspect you wouldn't be so hard on him if you had.

 

He's feeling awful and then has to go meet new people on top of it. Give him a break.

 

I've actually had sinus surgery twice so I'm well aware.

[dumbass2]

I guess I felt that he was using his sickness as more of an excuse not to come. He's backed out on a lot of plans with my friends when I've invited him out so I thought he would definitely have come out for this one since it was for my bday. After speaking with him, he said it was of a kinda loaded event and meeting everybody. Then went all to say while he thinks we do have something really great and he does have feelings for me, he's not relationship material. So yay, happy birthday to me!

 

That does sound like a break up to me or maybe that he felt he wasn't even in a serious relationship with you at all and you two were "just" dating and allowed to do whatever you want without all the commitments that come with an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

[preraph]

I guess I felt that he was using his sickness as more of an excuse not to come. He's backed out on a lot of plans with my friends when I've invited him out so I thought he would definitely have come out for this one since it was for my bday. After speaking with him, he said it was of a kinda loaded event and meeting everybody. Then went all to say while he thinks we do have something really great and he does have feelings for me, he's not relationship material. So yay, happy birthday to me!

 

Well, that sucks, and I'm sorry. Holidays and birthdays and the expectations they bring and decisions to be made (Do I have to buy a present (or take her out)? If I do, then that makes it look like I'm committed, but I'm not) are why these are times of more breakups.

 

I'm not sure I ever had a real boyfriend on my birthday. Seems like they usually broke it off before then, realizing they didn't feel comfortable buying a present and all that, being the boyfriend on the night of, etc.

 

And I actually ended up breaking up with someone on his birthday, but it was because the wife he was in the process of divorcing wanted to do something for his birthday. I was OUT. He did divorce her, but seriously, if someone still has their priorities on someone they're divorcing or already broken up with, something isn't right.