Hyperfocal Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 In OLD, I have two ladies speaking to me, both are of Chinese origin. I don't speak Chinese, and have limited Chinese cultural awareness really. Any experiences with just the language barrier part? Where they are sharp, educated, witty, but not English? Does it become a bore after a while? At my work we have a lot of foreign people, I do really well there with them in a work environment. Any other advice on these?
carhill Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 In a similar situation I found the language barrier to be both a challenge, with attendant hindrances to clarity, but also fostering more openness to other forms of communication than strictly words. In my case, I made an effort to learn some of the language as well as using a professional interpreter for in-country encounters. I was lucky to have a wonderful older female interpreter whom I used on a couple trips. Language can be as much or as little of a barrier as you, or they, choose. It all depends what the parties want.
Author Hyperfocal Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 but also fostering more openness to other forms of communication than strictly words.Thx. In the one date I had with one of them, I felt very confident, at ease... True. I'd say both of them speak English, just limited, not eloquent. One is in grad school, here, so that is a clue. I guess when you feel like sharing a complex feeling, does it get across? Does humor work as well with lang barrier? As for me I am excited in a positive way, as I much rather lack full language proficiency than say date a woman with another issue, dull, insensitive, etc. So you dated one with zero common language? Really? Interpreter? wow.
carhill Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 That sounds a lot like the lawyer I dated in Ukraine. At first she wasn't confident in her limited English but with encouragement we lost the interpreter and communication improved over time. When I saw her a few years later when she visited my wife and I, her English was nearly fluent and she thanked me for my role in getting the ball rolling. She worked for the WHO so having English skills really helped. The two most critical areas I found were, as you noted, complex feelings, as well as humor, both of which are important to intimacy. The language barrier made those areas challenges. I learned to communicate with expression, touch, tone of voice and also having patience, as did the ladies. Fortunately, they had great patience with my often bumbling or non-existent command of their language. IMO, patience and everything attendant to it is really helpful. No rush and don't take things seriously. Make it fun.
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