looking for answers

[august101]

Hey guys. Whats popping. Im here because im not sure whats happening between myself and my ex gf. Im pretty sure this is one of those threads you can relate to. I did a lot of reading bout it, maybe too much even. So here we go.

 

Met her in school, first relationship for both us of. We never knew it would’ve developed to what it did. We fell in love deeply, became the bestest of friends and the closest you could imagine 2 people getting. We would talk all the time, everyday, about anything and everything. Would see each other everyday and spend all our school time together. Was a bit of a fairy tail, having the person you love dearly and being with them all the time. Was very special. School had to end though, and we grew apart, never saw each other as much and she said she didn’t want the relationship anymore.

 

I didn’t know what I did now, so I did what I knew what to do at that time. Cried, begged, chased and after sometime I stopped. Wished her the best because she started university and we went our separate ways. We never really talked after that, she messaged me 2 months after, said she was sorry for breaking my heart and all that, I just wished her the best and that was it because I was understanding more as I was healing. Not all relationships last, for whatever reason she didn’t want it no more and I was starting to feel ok because that’s just how relationships are.

 

She’d hit me up again after a week asking how I was, told her im fine hope she was as well. Then she would message again about nonsense, showing me pics of gifts I got her and stuff. She called me a day, we talked for about an hour, dropping all kindve lines, how people get back together later on in life, she doesn’t know about us and the future and things like that. We kept talking on and off for 3 weeks, I was still emotionally vulnerable so I asked her if we could ever start over. She said she doesn’t know, it really didn’t make sense talking anymore so we stopped talking. Then I would get messages for Christmas , new year.

 

That was last year. Now this year, man oh man. Messages every month, sometimes angry messages but I paid no attention to it. She always kept in contact, asking stuff or asking my friends about me. Asking them about the girls I be hanging out with and getting jealous and things like that. I was still hurting and reconciliation was always on my mind but I didn’t know what was on hers. She called me 3 months ago, unexpectedly, we talked about a lot of things, from the break up to everything. Was good. We talked a lot for 3 months. she told my friends she missed me, and would keep in contact often. I Tried to meet up with her, twice actually but she never followed through. Again she would throw around words, shed like to see me, wants to , she’ll come see me soon, same talk about people getting together later on in life when they broke up and stuff. After those 3 months I knew we were not gonna talk as much, and I didn’t know where things were headed. I called her up, she didn’t say much so I figured out we weren’t gonna be the way we were those past few months. So AGAIN, wished her the best and that was it.

 

After 2 weeks, she contacts me again wanting to know how I was doing. Then again she would message, strike up a short convo we’d talk a bit and that was it. Now a few days after that she’d call outta nowhere, wanting to know about me and things ive been doing and all that. She called recently, not sure if shes waiting for me to call or something.

 

I would’ve never paid any attention to her but the fact reamianed we shared an amazing relationship. She was always there for me and even though she left she gave me 3 of the happiest years of my life. I never felt happier than when I was with her and she really was a great pathner and I would never forget her. I do still love and care for her, I hope shes doing really well. Im tryna get my life together, my job my education and everything really. So even though I still think about her a lot I got me to take care of.

I know she thinks about me, misses me also because we shared a lot and it really was special. The more I read I learn, truth is im a bit disappointed that she hasn’t directly asked to reconcile but she throws hints around. And she does all the contacting.

 

My minds all over sometimes, like theres no bad blood between us, why does she contact me so often, and if this isn’t leading to reconciliation then what is it leading to. At the end of the day we are exes. Im tryna play my cards correctly for reconciliation but truthfully I have no idea how to.

 

 

Sorry for the long post. What im getting at really is the topic of reconciliation. I have dated other girls after the break up and had great dates. even though I miss her and think about her I don’t hurt anymore. im no relationship expert and I don’t know what to do or how to carry about myself. Im sure she’ll call or message again soon, it doesn’t bother me emotionally because I keep busy..

 

But being honest with myself. I was extremely happy with her. And I would like to try again with her. Can we do it? Im not sure how to play my cards here. Any advice guys?

[mortensorchid]

Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you, of course, no one likes being rejected or hung out to dry or treated badly (or whatever else went on in the relationship). But I am here to tell you something that you may not like to hear at this moment, which is : MOVE ON. You might be thinking how and why I am saying this. It's because we have to grow up. Your first love / relationship is what breaks you into the world. I for one do not believe in one marrying their hs sweetheart or their first love, because you need to have experiences with other people to truly know the good from the bad. Otherwise you may end up with that person, you both change over time, and one day you will both wake up completely different people and you have nothing in common anymore.

 

You'll be okay, move on. Time helps, get busy and do other things. And whatever you do, don't gripe to others about how lonely, sad, depressed, etc. you are. No one wants to be around a sad sack. If you don't believe me, try it. You'll be okay.