baba999 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I met this polish guy 24F/28M on okcupid a month ago. In the first three weeks we went out once a week on saturdays, recent two weeks we met twice on thursdays and saturdays. Every date is 3- 11pm. We usually ate dinner in a restaurant then went to see a movie or just talked for 5 hours straight( Its amazing how much we can talk with each other!) He remembered everything I told him, even suggested the movie I mentioned on first date. He always pays, we haven’t had sex yet, i told him i still had my v card he said don’t worry we took it slow. So 8 dates we only kissed without tongue, no make out. It seems perfect but there are several RED FLAGS. 1. I asked him what he was looking for. He said “I am open to anything”. Then he explained to me that you need to ride a bicycle before you decide whether you buy it or not. And he always overthink and overcommit in his past relationships. But I think if a guy is looking for long term relationship he will say” I am looking for long term relationship “. 2.He only texts me at 10pm every other day.( He got off work at 6 and not busy) Normally just set up next date,we exchanged at most 5 texts then it’s over. no how is your day text. AND HE NEVER CALLS ME. NEVER. i think if a guy likes me, he will want to listen to my voice. I mentioned it once he said he want 50-50 effort, if he constantly texts a girl once he stops it will be strange. When he was with his ex, he sent he a text, she didn’t reply then he panic and overthink things. And he said what guys said was not important you should focus on what he did for you. 3. He invited me to his place on our third date. Although nothing happened, we just talked. I feel he is not that serious about me. 4. He still logs on the dating website like once or twice a week. (I stopped using it after our third date and created a fake profile to see his status) 5.after our fourth date, he sent me a text” it’s been four dates and i still want more of you, maybe there is something to it.” after our fifth date he texted me ‘ i like you’. after our seventh date, he said he really enjoyed talking to me. and he missed me more than he wanted. I know I can keep dating him and see where things go but I just really want to know whether he is serious about me or not. Cuz I really like him…. And should I initiate more texts or call him? Any analysis is appreciated!
hippychick3 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Honestly, I would continue to keep your options open and date others as he is apparently doing. I would keep your profile active until he has shown you he is interested in exclusivity AND he is displaying traits in a dating partner that you like (which so far he has not). 1
leogirl876 Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 For me, if someone doesn't start showing traits of relationship material within a month or two max, I move on. But maybe that's me, I'm 40, I'm tired of the dating game, tired of wasting my time on men who waste my time. That's all good and fine when you're 20, but depending on your age, if he doesn't pony up soon, I'd move on.
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