RyanO1991 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Imagine that you had given everything you had and sacrificed everything for a partner, only to be cheated on and thrown away. If you had the means of tearing that person's life apart, would you do it?
NopeNah Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Nope...after that was done to me that person no longer exists. They're not worthy of my time. 1
oasis Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 No, I won't. I would hold my head high and walk away...even though I am emotionally busted up. There is dignity in that. I am a firm believer that you will eventually end up reaping what your sow and will leave everything to the laws of nature and let it take it's course. 1
cucumber95 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 If she/he know's that you can make their life a hell, and you don't do it, just walk away, you going to show them that you are stronger 1
preraph Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 No. As long as you can't let go of it, she still has power over you. When someone does something unethical to you, if you're a logical person, you realize that you just learned a side of her you didn't know before that you can't live with and wouldn't want to. You mourn the loss of the person you had hoped she is, but you realize you were wrong about who she is and that she is not worthy of your prolonged suffering over it. We date to find out who people are, and it can take some years sometimes. It hurts because we have a lot invested. Just be glad if you didn't have kids with her so you can just walk away and wash your hands of her and then try to think what signs you saw that you overlooked so you catch it even sooner next time. Taking revenge on a person only further convinces them that you were not a good person to begin with and makes it super easy for them to then justify any cruel actions they may have taken by thinking "See, I was right about him. I knew it in my gut." Take the high road and leave her alone forever and move on and you'll be a stronger person for it. 2
Popsicle Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Imagine that you had given everything you had and sacrificed everything for a partner, only to be cheated on and thrown away. If you had the means of tearing that person's life apart, would you do it? NO. But I certainly wouldn't be doing them any favors. (You'd be surprised how many people who screw you over have an expectation that they can continue to walk all over you). Don't deliberately set out to initiate harm to her, but definitely shut off the nice guy. Treat her like a stranger on the street. The best thing to do is move on and let them rot in their own world. Edited October 9, 2016 by Popsicle 4
Marc878 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Revenge or consequences for wrongs done to me is a good thing. As long as you serve it cold and well executed. I feel the truth is always best. It does give you closure and it says I'm not the type to be walked on. 1
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I have certainly been very angry, but never thought for a min to have revenge. A counselor told me once, if you let it eat at you, creating all this hate, you are letting them win. Erasing them from your mind, and your contacts, staying away from them is the best way to deal with such a breakup. I agree with the others, hold your head high, be strong, don't stoop to their level and walk into the sunset....don't look back. 4
Popsicle Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Revenge or consequences for wrongs done to me is a good thing. As long as you serve it cold and well executed. I feel the truth is always best. It does give you closure and it says I'm not the type to be walked on. Consequences, yes, I believe in, but revenge? No. Like Preraph said earlier, revenge just shows that they still own you and can punt you around like a nerf ball. 1
Popsicle Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I have certainly been very angry, but never thought for a min to have revenge. A counselor told me once, if you let it eat at you, creating all this hate, you are letting them win. Erasing them from your mind, and your contacts, staying away from them is the best way to deal with such a breakup. I agree with the others, hold your head high, be strong, don't stoop to their level and walk into the sunset....don't look back. And, amazingly, when they see you do this, sometimes they crawl back later and say "OMG, I was so stupid! My Husband/Wife is such a good person!". And then at that point, you should say "I'm sorry, it's too late."
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Revenge is a sign of weakness, self-absorption and a cold, calculating mind. Forgiveness and indifference work better on your soul in the long term. 1
Nowty V Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Imagine that you had given everything you had and sacrificed everything for a partner, only to be cheated on and thrown away. If you had the means of tearing that person's life apart, would you do it? Hell No! The fault would be within me. If I had been stupid enough to put that much effort into a person, without noticing that they were just along for the ride... well I'd surely need my head rubbing with a brick. And in future trust to karma .. what goes around comes around.
Kelley Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 If you concentrate on revenge, you will keep those wounds fresh that would have otherwise healed. Karma is a bigger bitch than you need to be. What goes around, most definitely will come back around. Karma works because we remove ourselves from the cycle of bad behavior. Patience is a virtue in this situation, sit back and let Karma go to work. The best part is that when it eventually comes back to haunt the other person, you had no part in it and you will have a clean conscious.
basil67 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Imagine that you had given everything you had and sacrificed everything for a partner, only to be cheated on and thrown away. If you had the means of tearing that person's life apart, would you do it? No, I wouldn't seek revenge. But nor would I sacrifice everything for a partner. Partnerships should be equal in give and take. We shouldn't ever put all of our own needs aside for another person. Perhaps also look at why you sacrificed everything for her - sounds like it was an unequally yoked relationship to start with. I can't help wondering if she had no respect for you. Or if you have a skewed version of what a mutually loving should look like. 1
LD1990 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 NO. But I certainly wouldn't be doing them any favors. (You'd be surprised how many people who screw you over have an expectation that they can continue to walk all over you). Don't deliberately set out to initiate harm to her, but definitely shut off the nice guy. Treat her like a stranger on the street. The best thing to do is move on and let them rot in their own world. I completely agree and have been in the this exact situation. I could have easily made life very difficult for my ex, but I didn't. At the same time, she and her family still expected me to do favors for them, and then got pissed at me when I refused. Unlike some others, my lack of desire for revenge isn't about being the bigger person or because I feel revenge is wrong. If I loved someone, I don't want to hurt them, even if they treated me like garbage. My ex was terrible to me towards the end of our relationship and during our breakup. Still, the thought of screwing with her life or hurting her doesn't bring me any satisfaction. It's also a complete waste of time. I try to fill my days with things that are beneficial in some way. How does getting revenge on an ex do that? Even if you get satisfaction out of it, it'll be a very temporary high that's not worth the time you put in.
Bialy Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I understand where you're coming from. It's hard at the beginning to accept the betrayal of someone you considered a loved one. In my situation, I would never consider revenge for a number of reasons. 1- I don't want to be considered the "crazy ex." 2- It would only bring him and his current partner closer together. 3- It wouldn't be satisfying. THE BEST REVENGE??? Pretending they don't exist and going about your life. ------------------------- A co-worker told me that months after after a bad breakup, his ex approached him to say hi when she noticed he entered the same subway car. He looked at her, confused, and said in a straight face, "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" She said, "It's me! I don't look any different than the last time we saw each other." He said, "Oh? Yeah, sorry, your face doesn't ring a bell at all. This is my stop. Good bye." He told me, as far as he is concerned, after the way things went down leading up to their breakup, she no longer existed in his eyes.
Dis Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Oh this is such an awesome topic and revelant to me! In August I walked in on my bf of three months having sex with another women.....this is where my story gets alittle tricky....I'm wiccan (a witch)...so to me revenge was a no brainer! I had been practicing white witchcraft successfully for 12 years....it was easy peasy to switch over the black magic considering the two are very similar...only differing intentions I did black magic on him for 4 nights...it took all the energy I had...all the focus I had. It was tiring. After those 4 nights I stopped..disassembled everything and banished the negativity....I was left feeling awful Whether we actually succeed in hurting others is irrelavant....revenge only hurts us in the end. If we focus on negativity in our thoughts/actions/behaviors is only keeps up from healing and recieving love in the future Its...not....worth...it As time passes our angry subsides...we let go We cannot serve two masters....we either serve love or we serve vengence If you want love.....work for love. Which was a hard lesson learned by me...but now I refuse to serve anything that is negative..which will only lead to positive things in the future End point...forgive...let go...recieve love in the future
preraph Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 No, I wouldn't seek revenge. But nor would I sacrifice everything for a partner. Partnerships should be equal in give and take. We shouldn't ever put all of our own needs aside for another person. Perhaps also look at why you sacrificed everything for her - sounds like it was an unequally yoked relationship to start with. I can't help wondering if she had no respect for you. Or if you have a skewed version of what a mutually loving should look like. People who make a big deal out of giving more than their fair share in a relationship usually then unfairly expect to get something more out of it. They become martyrs. They're the one who tried and did nothing wrong. But they did it with selfish motives. It's not unlike trying to buy someone's love, except the currency can be anything. 1
JewelD Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 There are ways to get revenge without going out of your way. I wanted horrible things to happen to my ex after we broke up. But the best revenge was me moving on and him realizing what he had lost and trying to get it back. I can't imagine a worse feeling than having someone who truly cares for you and then realizing they don't want you anymore. They won't even answer your calls or texts anymore. I'm sure it was a rude awakening for him and some other terrible mess has probably plagued him since we've broken up but I don't keep in touch with him so I don't know nor do I care. But I wholeheartedly believe that crappy things happen to crappy people. Eventually they get what's coming to them. 1
Marc878 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 It always depends on the circumstances but letting yourself be wronged with no consequences is cowardly IMO. It doesn't mean you spend a huge amount of time on it. The truth fixes a lot of things. Then you walk away and let them deal with the consequences. Hiding or withholding the truth is a sign of weakness. 1
Miss Clavel Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 i sold my wasband's boat when he wasn't home and i kept the money. i packed his **** for him to take over to "her" place and put my wedding dress on top of his clothes. hahahaha i told him we had to take a "parenting after divorce class" in order to complete our divorce filing. and not only did he take the class, he paid for it. later he asked me where to send the "results" i said, "how the hell would i know, i didn't take the class". he hung up on me. hahaha a few hours after his "dday" since i already knew, i went to my accountant and not only filed myself as abandoned, i claimed all the orphans in spite of the fact that i said we would take turns claiming them. i told him i felt like driving over to "her" house and punching her nasal bones into her brain cavaity. he actually smiled, ticked, thinking i gave a ****, and said, "you don't know where she lives", i said, "i've known for a long time where she live" and he asked me, "so why didn't you drive over there"? "cuz neither one of you is worth the price of the gas it would take to get there" lol "they" were together 8 years. both of them screwing me as hard as they could. right before the divorce he decided he didn't want a divorce. well, he got one, i paid for. not sure what happened to them next but the orphans told me she "didn't believe he loved her". naturally he reminded her that he stabbed his kids and murdered their mother to get free. apparently even that didn't move her and they broke up. 9 months later he married a women from china he met on the internet, she doesn't speak any english, either. i actually feel bad for the ow. but only sortof.
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