mai tran Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) So a few days ago me and my family went on vacation. I was gonna go to the same place as my husband but i need a visa so I couldn't go with him so i let him go there by himself for 2 weeks while me and my son go visit my side of family. After 2 weeks we saw each other again but something was weird.. i was interogating him and getting mad and jealous.. to the point that 2 days later he wanted to go and leave bcuz he just couldnt take being in the same house as me. so he left.. Before he left we told each other that we would take a break and forget everything and just have fun.. When he came back, everything seemed to be okay until one day he said he was just pretending that we were okay to show our families that we were okay so that they wouldnt worry about us.. but i later found out that he ****ed a girl up and made her drink morning after pill so she wouldnt get pregnant. this all happened while we were out of country for our vacation.. The day before we go back to us my husband told me that he wanted to split bcuz it just wasnt gonna work out anymore.. i cried and cried and begged him to stay.. so we got back to us.. 2 days later we magically banged.. like it was so intense and then after that we were ok.. the next night we did it again.. but throughout those 2 days we banged i know that they were talking with each other any moment that he has, sometimes he would even tell me to leave him Alone.. and that hurted me so bad, but i just let it slide.. The 2nd night we had sex.. me not telling him that i know that he ****ed a girl and almost got her pregnant and that he was still talking to her just really made me feel fed up.. i couldnt hold it in anymore. how can me and him be together when they are still constantly talking and that hurts me really bad. so on that night i got drunk. really bad that all the people in the house found out about what was happening, his mom his dad his bro my room mate my bro inlaws gf.. it was crazy.. he was mad at me bcuz he says that i used his family against him.. and so since he wants to leave and i didnt wanna let go, we decided we would take a break from each other.. but then after a day, i secretly logged in on his fb to check if they were still talking and if she was pregnant or not.. but no no conversations at all.. me and my husband were still talking casually up until he found out that i logged in on his fb.. he got mad and said that he really thought i changed bcuz i promised him that i wouldnt check his stuff anymore.. but i did and that was my mistake i know... but i was curious to see if while were on break are they talking while i am trying to make myself better? i shouldve trusted him.. but ever since he found out about me opening his fb, hes been really cold to me and repeatedly telling me that "thats it. im done. i really thot that u can change. i trusted u". and now at this point no matter what i say or do nothing will make him stay.. just now we talked again and he said that "he is going to look past about hating me but he doesnt know when and even after he looked past it, we will still not work anymore" i was crushed.. and i saw they started talking again.. i saw he sent a selfie that he was sleeping on the couch and then she sent a selfie that with her kissy face to him and they were sending each other sexy pictures but not of them but from someone on the internet and i guess its their way of flirting with each other.... i am so devastated and hurt.. i know he said it wouldnt work for us anymore but it hurts to know that he is still talking to the girl he cheated on with me after he said he would cut ties with her.. now our family thinks we are ok, we havent filed for divorce or anything like that. i told him what do we say to ur family when they ask he told me to tell them that we are okay. we are pretending we are okay...and i dont understand why? i mean he says we wont work out anymore so why hide our situtation? is it bcuz he doesnt want any confrontation from his family? avoiding argument? i know i told him i didnt to let my family know just yet bcuz i wasnt readyto let them know just yet.. could that be the reason why were pretending were ok with his family? or is there a chance that hopefully he will come back to me? we still live in the same house bcuz i didnt want him to move out so he sleeps in the spare room.. do u think if i give it some time, some space then maybe eventually everything would work out? or is this it? is it over? do u think he still loves me?btw we have a 4 yr old son that loves him very much.. now idk what to do, i feel like every moment i want to cry.. i still love him and dont want to let him go... but he wants to leave.. what should i do???Save Edited October 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs~T
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Hello. This relationship as you know is over. You need to leave him. He isn't any good to you. A cheater; he should be the one trying to regain your trust. Not the other way around. Though, you shouldn't log on his Facebook secretly. But hey, think of it as a means to an end. But of course, he is still talking to her. And of course he didn't want his family to know what a piece of **** he is. He won't change -- you changed? You mean the change the piece of **** brought upon you? It's toxic. Do not hold yourself back for a toxic man. Go forward. Though it may...hurt. You will eventually get over it. If you try to not linger. You may even find someone better. It may take a long time or not. But you will. But, this guy here. He showed you what trash he really is. I know the torment that cheating brings. I know it took a year to heal up - I still hate that woman. But that is okay. But for your sake. Stop worrying about this *******. Get rid of him. The temporary pain, against the long term of hanging onto this never changing, unapologetic trash, is much better. Oh, and if you are able: Take him for whatever he has to help raise your son. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Your husband doesn't love you, and has zero respect for you. Get rid of him. There is no other option. 3
Author mai tran Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 he says he loves me.. but i guess at the moment he doesnt love me enough.. i just cant seem ti find a way to be able to let myself let him go.. ive tried and tried many times but i felt like id rather lose him by death than him splitting up with me.. i realky dont want to lose him.. i know im prolly stubborn but i still love him very very much and is willing to forgive and forget everything just so that we can be back together
Author mai tran Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Hello. This relationship as you know is over. You need to leave him. He isn't any good to you. A cheater; he should be the one trying to regain your trust. Not the other way around. Though, you shouldn't log on his Facebook secretly. But hey, think of it as a means to an end. But of course, he is still talking to her. And of course he didn't want his family to know what a piece of **** he is. He won't change -- you changed? You mean the change the piece of **** brought upon you? It's toxic. Do not hold yourself back for a toxic man. Go forward. Though it may...hurt. You will eventually get over it. If you try to not linger. You may even find someone better. It may take a long time or not. But you will. But, this guy here. He showed you what trash he really is. I know the torment that cheating brings. I know it took a year to heal up - I still hate that woman. But that is okay. But for your sake. Stop worrying about this *******. Get rid of him. The temporary pain, against the long term of hanging onto this never changing, unapologetic trash, is much better. Oh, and if you are able: Take him for whatever he has to help raise your son. but he says he really loves me...we got back together and then after i got drunk that night and said stupid stuff.. i hurt him.. he said i manipulated everyone in his family and used them against him... i didnt mean to do any of that.. i just idk how long can i hold it in me? that i knee he ****ed around one time.. but he was never ever that type of guy.. he was not that type of guy to just live like that.. i feel like im hopelessly hoping for him to come back around and change his mind.. why is it bad that we keep our current situation to our families.. should we tell our families?? he also told me that he would stay close by so he can still see our son and help me with anything that i would need.. but ultimately im keeping my son and i feel like he will be completely free from all of this and i will be left behind with everything..and its not that i dont love my son or anything bcuz i love him so much that i am willing to do anything for him.. i know in the thread he sounded like a really bad guy but he really isnt that bad... he is a great guy and id choose him over and over if i can.. he just made a mistake and we cnt seem to get past our emotions.. for one now his family prolly hates him now bcuz of all that i said when i was drunk.. i shudve just kept it in between us... Save Edited October 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs~T
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 What he says is meaningless. What he does clearly demonstrates he doesn't love you. He isn't a great guy. And you know it. Great guys don't crap all over their wives and the mothers of their kids the way he does. But since you aren't yet strong enough to leave, this will continue to happen. 1
Author mai tran Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 what made you say that what he says is meaningless? i guess im in denial.. but to me he really is a great guy.. he was there for me through it all and provided for the family like no one ever could.. i cant find a way to make myself hate him or let alone to makr myself give up and let him go on with his life. we started out in highschool til now.. and i feel like idk how it would be to be by myself i still love him very much after all that he put me through... call me stupid but he was my everything..
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 what made you say that what he says is meaningless? i guess im in denial.. but to me he really is a great guy.. he was there for me through it all and provided for the family like no one ever could.. i cant find a way to make myself hate him or let alone to makr myself give up and let him go on with his life. we started out in highschool til now.. and i feel like idk how it would be to be by myself i still love him very much after all that he put me through... call me stupid but he was my everything.. Er...the fact that he had sex with a woman who isn't his wife, for starters...
Recommended Posts