heartbroken1510 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I recently fallen for a shy introverted guy at work who I see every day as we work in the same office but working for different firms in corporate finance. However, I am now so confused about whether he likes me or not. Initially when we first started work about 3 months he used to help me out a lot staying beyond his hours to help me finish, which I did not think much of it and just saw it as an act of kindness. However, I then caught him staring at me a few times and watching me from afar from the office and whenever he sees me he used to smile and nod at me. He used to be the one who greets me first. I also noticed he used to get quite nervous when I talk to him. I then realised he might like me and I started getting awkward because at the time I mutually didn't feel the same way as he was not the type of guy I normally go for and at the time I was in a relationship so I started avoiding him, being a bit cold and distant, which he then reflected my behaviour and started ignoring me. After weeks where I was avoiding him and he was ignoring me, I decided to approach him and say hi to remove the awkwardness in the office. Things then returned back to what it was before. At this point I broken up with my boyfriend. As the days then passed, I started developing feelings for him as he is a genuinely nice guy and I was hoping he would ask me out or at least for my number. Weeks then passed with nothing happening so to my surprise as I am normally a shy girl I decided to bite the bullet and ask for his number and we both exchanged numbers and at that point I suggested going for a drink sometime but he didn't respond. I don't know if he is nervous or what? Weeks of having each other numbers, neither of us texted or called each other until recently I texted him to invite him out for drinks with my other work colleagues and to my surprise he came. What I do notice is it is always me who initiates the conversation and asking him questions. He never asks me questions to find out about me so I am just wondering is he even interested in me? As the weeks passed I think we both learned that we are quite different people and have different interests. He is more of an outdoor nature person and not the typical bankers who likes to go out and drink and party. I don't know if this is a problem but I don't share many common interests with him but I did took interest of his interests and hobbies and I try to invite him to my plans or invite myself to his plans, which he shows no reaction or response. I don't know if I came on too strong but after this surely he knows I like him? Anyway, things have changed this week. Maybe he has lost interest in me because we are so different people. Now I am literally non-existent to him, no hi, no eye contact and he doesn't even acknowledge me or look at me, which really hurts me because I really like him and thought he liked me but I don't know anymore. I am so confused. I don't know how I should take it from here. Does he like me or not or should I just move on because he is not interested anymore? I have observed him with others and he is normally quiet and doesn't really initiate the conversation first but he appears way more comfortable around others than me.
DM_Anna Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Hi heartbroken1510, Have you tried talking to him about this? I must be honest and say it's almost impossible for us to give you an answer if he likes you or not for many reasons. The fact he treated you how he did initially would lead me to believe he does like you but perhaps he feels you have given him the cold shoulder once too many times?
Bounce2002 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Hi heartbroken1510, Have you tried talking to him about this? I must be honest and say it's almost impossible for us to give you an answer if he likes you or not for many reasons. The fact he treated you how he did initially would lead me to believe he does like you but perhaps he feels you have given him the cold shoulder once too many times? I would have to agree. Did he know you were involved with someone when you first met?
Author heartbroken1510 Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 Hi heartbroken1510, Have you tried talking to him about this? I must be honest and say it's almost impossible for us to give you an answer if he likes you or not for many reasons. The fact he treated you how he did initially would lead me to believe he does like you but perhaps he feels you have given him the cold shoulder once too many times? Hi DM_Anna Thank you for your reply. No I haven't spoken to him about this because I didn't want to embarrass myself just in case if he never liked me in that way the first place. Now I am not sure if he likes me or not after the advances I have made (e.g. Getting his number, inviting him to coffee and movies) to hint to him that I like him but he always shy away from my invitations saying he is busy. I only given him the cold shoulder once that was at the beginning when I was in a relationship. He knows I am a single now.
Author heartbroken1510 Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 I would have to agree. Did he know you were involved with someone when you first met? Hi Bounce2002, Thank you for your reply. I don't think he was aware of I was in a relationship when we first met unless he found out from my other colleagues. I have been single for 2 months now which he knows.
preraph Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Welcome to the wonderful world of trying to date the socially anxious. In his mind, there is probably only one scenario under which he sees himself being able to respond in a romantic relationship, and he got that either off games or off porn. He's not capable. He probably does like you, but he hasn't got what it takes to follow through because he's not just introverted, which doesn't incapacitate you, but he's socially anxious and too nervous to do anything outside his comfort zone. Please do yourself a favor and stop focusing on him and find someone with all the tools he needs in his toolbelt to have a happy life.
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