Wildcats62 Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 I met this really attractive girl online. We started chatting and hit it off. We are both huge into working out, helping people . I asked her out for coffee in my hometown and she agreed. Here's the kicker though... I suspected there was another guy in the picture trying to woo her and she confirmed that the night before and informed me prior to us talking she had a thing for him and they had known each other for years but he would never give her the time of day. Now right as we started talking he started hitting her up. They met up when she went back home and said it kind of clicked and she wanted to go see if it would work out. I told her that was fine and thanks for being honest and upfront and I'd still love to meet for coffee to keep myself in the picture of course. The next day (day of coffee) she all of a sudden texts me that she found some things about him that worry her and so I still have a shot and we met up, hugged, had awesome conversation and she offered her drink for me to taste (germ sharing is a good sign right?) we ended up walking out and she then stopped and said "Hey weren't you going to show me that place?" so she tried extending the date! She still said she would meet with the guy just to be fair, I haven't texted her since yesterday to show I'm not clinging and to give her space and to figure things out. She is still "Liking" things I post on facebook as well. The dude she is meeting I think is shallow as she use to be somewhat overweight (doesn't matter to me) and now that she has lost it all, he is now all of a sudden talking to her. Think she will pick up on that?
DM_Anna Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Hi Wildcats62, I think you are definitely doing the right thing playing it cool. You're showing her that you are interested yet not clingy or needy. Great start. One thing I would say, however, don't feel that you need to wait a few days to text or to initiate contact. In my eyes waiting a day or two is an old myth which still seems to be doing the rounds. Play it cool just as you have been. Remember, you know her better than we do. It certainly sounds like she is keeping this other guy in the loop as she may want to 'keep her options open'. I find that is usually a pretty standard thing when you first meet someone so I wouldn't be too overly worried about that. I would say to carry on being you, play it cool and all it work out just fine. Best of luck! Edited October 8, 2016 by DM_Anna spelling 1
Author Wildcats62 Posted October 8, 2016 Author Posted October 8, 2016 Thanks DM_Anna! I wanted to drop something later this afternoon, like "Hey hope your weekend is off to a great start" and leave it at that but my friends that are girls said to wait until she texts me which may be after she meets this guy. Since she is still "Liking" my stuff (she did just 30min ago) I know I'm staying fresh in her mind. Just hope it all works out for me as she has a good head on her shoulders and is ambitious!
DM_Anna Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 It can be quite tricky with the whole 'to text or not to text' scenario but you are certainly right about staying fresh in her mind. I'm sure that she will see this other guy for who he is given time. Let us know how it goes between you both!
Author Wildcats62 Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 Well update, the girls at my job said to message her today just something simple. I said Hi just dropping in tonsay hello and hope your weekend it going great. She replied an hour later "ahh hey Yy!" And that was it. Its short, didnt ask how my weekened was going or anything so Im assuming this ither guy charmed her and I am getting friendzoned
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 dude just stop wasting your time................you should have ditched her the moment she mentioned the other guy. Have some self worth.
joseb Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I would have cancelled the coffee date the minute she starting on about that guy. Wtf? And then changing story and saying "Oh you have a chance"? Seriously, who pulls that kinda crab. Next her. For future reference, a quick text to say thanks isn't being clingy. You are not fooling anyone, if you have time to be updating/checking Facebook you have time to send a quick text. Just don't do the whole hey how's your day thing. 2
Miss Peach Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 OP - Did you ask a bout the other guy or did she bring him up? How did you meet? I don't know why but I've gotten several angry message from guys on OLD who are trying to insist we talk to no other people before we even meet up IRL. I've basically told all of them no. If you are meeting up in this environment then it's assumed there will be many bad first dates before anything becomes serious or exclusive.mi can't stand that so many guys are becoming possessive before even meeting for coffee. Many guys are also asking for details about where I am with other dates before even meeting. Hi Wildcats62, I think you are definitely doing the right thing playing it cool. You're showing her that you are interested yet not clingy or needy. Great start. One thing I would say, however, don't feel that you need to wait a few days to text or to initiate contact. In my eyes waiting a day or two is an old myth which still seems to be doing the rounds. Play it cool just as you have been. Remember, you know her better than we do. It certainly sounds like she is keeping this other guy in the loop as she may want to 'keep her options open'. I find that is usually a pretty standard thing when you first meet someone so I wouldn't be too overly worried about that. I would say to carry on being you, play it cool and all it work out just fine. Best of luck! I agree with this. I don't chase guys. When they contact me I'm always enthusiastic. The guys who wait lose me as I figure they aren't that interested. There's a line between interested and possessive and I fear a lot of the issues are guys just don't understand where that line is? 1
Author Wildcats62 Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 (edited) Thanks for all the advice, so heres an update to everything. She did go into a relationship with the guy (think she did it to avoid him losing interests or was just super eager) anyways we chatted about it and I played it cool, wished her the best and agreed to be friends. She is still texting me and "liking" my facebook stuff but I'm being just short and to the point on things, not trying to chat with her like I was so I appear clingy or still all lovey dovey about her. So since she is still texting me, just randomly will ask about workout advice etc. Do you think she is still interested and maybe knows in the back of her mind this other guy isn't going to workout? Most girls I know when they say "Lets be friends still" is just a formality and they don't actually initiate texting you anymore. I'm still looking around and talking to other girls (I'm not just going to sit around and wait in hope for her) but for you girls, is that usually a sign she still has an interest in me? Edited October 10, 2016 by Wildcats62
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2016 Posted October 10, 2016 I can't believe you asked that...no she is not, you are friend zoned....move on 2
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