lovemademe Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 I wanted to post this here because I know my friends and family are tired of hearing me talk about my break up... I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about 4 weeks ago. I was the one who initiated the break up and he agreed. Our relationship was great however we were constantly arguing about this one thing...when we broke up he said that we needed space. I noticed that he started lying to me towards the end of our relationship and he said he did because he started to resent me (ouch). He said our arguments were mentally and emotionally draining and that we were too young and maybe we could be together when we've had time to mature. Before we broke up we had a pre booked vacation to the Bahamas. We were unable to sell or change the tickets so we decided to still go. We were on good terms and personally I thought that we would get back together because during the two weeks before we were broken up he kept mentioning that we would. I wasn't reacting to these comments because I know people don't always mean what they say. So we went on vacation it was great. We didn't explicitly say we were getting back together but our relationship was back to how it was before we broke up. We slept together regularly on vacation and even talked about future plans that included us together. When we returned from vacation he said he still needed space. I removed him from my social media that night so that I wouldn't see his posts and be tempted to contact him. So now I haven't contacted him for a week. He hasn't tried to contact me. He dropped the things I had at his place at my friends place without a word to me. I saw him on the train to work and he didn't try to say hello. I wouldn't say that our break up was messy so i'm not sure why he is reacting this way. He is not that type of person and always goes out of his way to speak to people he knows even if he doesn't necessarily like them. I know we aren't going to be best friends but I'm confused by his unwillingness to be at least cordial with me. We live on the same campus and work in the same area so I know we are going to see each other. Can anyone help me understand his reactions to me? Should I contact him or just let it go? 1
cucumber95 Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Give him time and space. Don't contact him, because you going to show him that you miss him, you don't want that, because it is going to make it worse instead of better... Good luck 2
Logo Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) No-Contact aside, sometimes relationships suffer because of a lack of clear and open communication. Did you guys talk things over? Why play hide and seek and wonder what the other person is thinking instead of laying all the cards on the table and having an open and honest talk about your relationship? Did you guys do that? Did you talk about your feelings, what you wanted out of life, our of the relationship? If you did, and you feel that you have communicated effectively and exhausted that avenue, then NC is a good idea. Anyway, give him some space. Let him miss you. Don't force the relationship. Edited October 8, 2016 by Logo 2
Author lovemademe Posted October 10, 2016 Author Posted October 10, 2016 No-Contact aside, sometimes relationships suffer because of a lack of clear and open communication. Did you guys talk things over? Why play hide and seek and wonder what the other person is thinking instead of laying all the cards on the table and having an open and honest talk about your relationship? Did you guys do that? Did you talk about your feelings, what you wanted out of life, our of the relationship? If you did, and you feel that you have communicated effectively and exhausted that avenue, then NC is a good idea. Anyway, give him some space. Let him miss you. Don't force the relationship. Thanks for your reply. We did speak about it and he mentioned getting back together multiple times but in the end he said we still need more space. Maybe I am trying to rush it and I'm torturing myself because I'm holding on to hopes that he will come back. I know that there is a chance that he won't but I'll take your advice and give him the space he wants and pray that he feels the same way I do about our relationship. I made the mistake of deleting him on Facebook because I was really upset about the way he acted when we got back from our vacation. Should I add him back? Do you think that sent him the wrong message that I'm done with him? How can I fix it?
Recommended Posts