scratch Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall so you believe it is a lose-lose situation ? How can walking away be losing ? In who eyes would you be trying to impress ? Tell me Walking away is losing because humans are prideful creatures. It shows a lack of confidence and self-respect to not stand up for yourself when your pride is assaulted. Of course, it also shows those qualities if you respond. That makes it lose-lose.
millefiori Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Walking away is losing because humans are prideful creatures. It shows a lack of confidence and self-respect to not stand up for yourself when your pride is assaulted. Of course, it also shows those qualities if you respond. That makes it lose-lose. What is more hurtful? An aggressive reply or showing someone that he's not even worth a second look? I think nothing is more hurtful than not getting any attention. Someone who spits in your face very likely has strong feelings for you, positive or negative, and in a way it also shows helplessness on her part. She has to refrain to that kind of means to get your attention. By walking away you're really giving her the ultimate kick.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Walking away is losing because humans are prideful creatures. It shows a lack of confidence and self-respect to not stand up for yourself when your pride is assaulted. Of course, it also shows those qualities if you respond. That makes it lose-lose. I wasn't talking about humans as a whole because you can't speak for everybody, I wanted to know why YOU feel it's a lose-lose situation to you ..
laRubiaBonita Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 here is an example, please tell me your opinions: guy cheats on his gf witha chic at his work, gf finds out before he can tell her....they stay together. he still works with chic, and his gf asks that he not hang out with her outside of work. he does anyways, each time not specifically telling the gf, until she finds out or guesses that they are out...usually with other work folks. he thinks it is no big deal, as he and chic are only friends, and he likes her as friend, nothing more. does the gf have the right to be pissed? especially when the bf has a fit is gf even hangs out with her guy friends that she has NO history with........ what is ya'lls take?
scratch Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori What is more hurtful? An aggressive reply or showing someone that he's not even worth a second look? I think nothing is more hurtful than not getting any attention. Someone who spits in your face very likely has strong feelings for you, positive or negative, and in a way it also shows helplessness on her part. She has to refrain to that kind of means to get your attention. By walking away you're really giving her the ultimate kick. That makes sense, but applies more to a vaccum than to the real world, in my opinion. Probably depends on the woman. But don't think that a man who walks away actually turns the tables and ends up looking cool. It's still lose-lose. Fly, I was including myself as one of the humans. Yeah, I know it's hard to imagine, but there you go.
Cecelius Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 This thread was much more fun when it was about ho's
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by scratch But don't think that a man who walks away actually turns the tables and ends up looking cool. It's still lose-lose. I think that walking away is win situation.. You walk away looking cool as Scratch had said but I don't feel as though I would have lost any pride by doing so.. Really the exact opposite happens to me I would feel more prideful by walking away. So Im cool and prideful by doing that .. win-win
scratch Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall I think that walking away is win situation.. You walk away looking cool as Scratch had said but I don't feel as though I would have lost any pride by doing so.. Really the exact opposite happens to me I would feel more prideful by walking away. So Im cool and prideful by doing that .. win-win I envy your ability to have an option in that scenario that makes you feel good, no sarcasm intended. I suppose it would add another level of complexity if she was someone to whom you ever wished to speak again. If a friend or girlfriend slapped you, would that be the end of the relationship? Would you force yourself to cut ties no matter how strongly you felt for her?
lindya Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by scratch If a woman slaps a man, he's pretty much screwed. Walking away, as Bacardi said, still makes you look foolish. I You'd need to do a poll to get a general view, but I'd bet that in that situation most people's disdain would be reserved for the slapper. No pun intended. The humiliation of having been reduced to such a pitiful state of impotent rage that I'd actually slap someone would be enough for me. Were the person I slapped to just stare at me then walk away, I'd be left with that humiliation. If they slapped me back or spat on me, then my humiliation would be lessened because I'd no longer feel as if they were monopolising the moral high ground.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I envy your ability to have an option in that scenario that makes you feel good, no sarcasm intended. Thanks Scratch I suppose it would add another level of complexity if she was someone to whom you ever wished to speak again. If a friend or girlfriend slapped you, would that be the end of the relationship? Would you force yourself to cut ties no matter how strongly you felt for her? I think some of those options would be automatically closed by the other person .. But if they weren't I most likely would end it because I would've just crossed an internal line and I would no longer feel prideful and cool.
Bacardi Silver Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 I'm sorry, but no one should take that **** from anyone, even if it is a girl. I'm so sick of these girls who think it's a right for them to hit men. So you are saying you should take it like a man and walk away. Its like saying if a guy was up in your face calling you a faggot constantly, and then you walk away and it will all disappear. Well it doesn't. You have to stand up for yourself, or you'll fall for anything.
InsatiableStar Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 I would never suggest spitting at someone. It is regarded as serious assault here, worse than punching someone. Men that are abused by women are never believed in my experience.
millefiori Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Originally posted by lindya You'd need to do a poll to get a general view, but I'd bet that in that situation most people's disdain would be reserved for the slapper. No pun intended. The humiliation of having been reduced to such a pitiful state of impotent rage that I'd actually slap someone would be enough for me. Were the person I slapped to just stare at me then walk away, I'd be left with that humiliation. If they slapped me back or spat on me, then my humiliation would be lessened because I'd no longer feel as if they were monopolising the moral high ground. Exactly.
millefiori Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Originally posted by Bacardi Silver I'm sorry, but no one should take that **** from anyone, even if it is a girl. I'm so sick of these girls who think it's a right for them to hit men. So you are saying you should take it like a man and walk away. Its like saying if a guy was up in your face calling you a faggot constantly, and then you walk away and it will all disappear. Well it doesn't. You have to stand up for yourself, or you'll fall for anything. Hm, I think there are two situations here that got mixed up. In one, you have an equal or someone of a higher position harrass you. If you withdraw and do nothing, you feel like a coward, because you did not stand up for yourself against the bully. In the other situation, you have someone who is also attacking you. The difference here is that this person is attacking you does it for a different reason. It's an expression of her anger towards you. She's trying to hurt you verbally, it doesn't work, you seem to be oblivious of the pain she's trying to inflict upon you and you also ignore her anger. Hitting you is just an expression of this incredible rage inside. If you hit her back or spit at her, it's because you have no clue what the problem in this situation really is.
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