spazzo246 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Hi guys, bit of a background on the situation. Im 22 M she's 20 F We both have never dated. Before. We have known each other for around 2 years and are really good friends. The majority of our interaction is via Facebook chat and texting. We meet alot in person nearly every weekend in large group settings. We don't hang out alone and have only ever done so once or twice. About 6 months ago we both confessed that we liked each other and decided to start dating. Due to the excitement of things I made the mistake of rushing into it and asked her to be my girlfriend straight away. This caused us to both have unrealistic expectations on our relationship so soon and it did not last very long. Up until this point we had never met in person alone just me and her. The dating between us lasted a week until I got this message from her "Hope work is ok ? Ive been thinking like a lot and still feel like we rushed into this way too soon and i still find u more as my best friend than a boyfriend You were so sweet tho and i did really enjoy myself last night But i really like u more as one of my best friends and doesn't feel right to be in a relationship >~< Hopefully we can still be like best friends ! I really hope u understand I tired so hard to make it work and push aside what i really feel. So i hope we can still be super good friends c:" After this we had another chat and decided that we rushed into things and thought it would be best to stay as friends. 6 months down the track we are still really good friends, message each other every few days (surprisingly she's the one that initiates the conversations) and meet in person with our group of friends every few weeks or so. Our interaction is 90% via text/Facebook Every time we chat i still feel very attracted to her and my feelings for her remain as they were when were dating. I want to speak to her again and ask her if she would like to try again this time taking things slow and not rushing anything but I have this gut feeling that i shouldn't mention anything and on the other hand I feel as though I still need to tell her how I feel. She also has a twin sister and they are stuck together like glue. It's kinda hard to separate them baha I don't know what to do. If anyone can give some works of wisdom here that would be great. Thanks
Sunnymae Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 There's is really no need for disclosing your feelings to her at this point. Read what her text is saying. If you bring this up again, you could push her away as a friend as well. Bringing this up is going to make you seem pushy and clingy, and will drive her away. Start seeing other people. If you're are feeling obsessed about her, maybe drop out of that club or group and find another group, but do not approach her about this so soon again. Who knows maybe sometime later, way later you can revisit dating again. Do things to better yourself, build your self confidence, go on line dating, start hanging out with other friends. At this point, I think you should limit hanging out with her as a friend, especially since you're not on the same page.
Author spazzo246 Posted October 7, 2016 Author Posted October 7, 2016 There's is really no need for disclosing your feelings to her at this point. Read what her text is saying. If you bring this up again, you could push her away as a friend as well. Bringing this up is going to make you seem pushy and clingy, and will drive her away. Start seeing other people. If you're are feeling obsessed about her, maybe drop out of that club or group and find another group, but do not approach her about this so soon again. Who knows maybe sometime later, way later you can revisit dating again. Do things to better yourself, build your self confidence, go on line dating, start hanging out with other friends. At this point, I think you should limit hanging out with her as a friend, especially since you're not on the same page. I went back and re read the whole conversation between us. I figured at this point if I mention that I still like her and want to try again Its just going to make the friendship between us shaky and awkward. Im asking her for all the wrong reasons mainly due to the fact that I just miss her and the emotions I had when we were dating. The same thing happened to my last thing with another girl a few years ago and wanting to try again but I left it and have moved on. Our friendship right now is perfect and escalating it anymore may distort it. Which I dont want. If im really serious about dating I need to put in the effort to try and meet other girls and not take the easy way out with people I already know/are friends with as it can jeopardize the friendships I have made Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it a lot.
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