4blossoms Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) I am interested in an acquaintance X who I've known for a few months (I am female he is male). We have mostly messaged each other on Facebook a few times. I noticed he has a lot of male friends who seem sort of gay (and one who I know for sure is gay). Some have girlfriends but the girlfriends look like beards/props. For example, one of his friends has a bunch of half-naked photos, some where he is lying down on a bed or lounge chair provocatively and his girlfriend is off on the side barely in the picture. I have heard the "birds of a feather" theory, so wonder if X might be gay and in the closet. His Facebook profile is very limited while mine shares a lot more. I googled his name and one of the top results is his profile at a website called Couchsurfing that lets people travel to other people's homes in different countries and stay for free. A nice idea but googling Couchsurfing reveals that it's also used heavily for hookups/casual sex by travelers and hosts. Majority of the hosts are males in their 20s-30s. The biggest, most popular group on that website is the queer group. So, the other day X tells me that he will be away for the entire month of November. I've noticed that he checks this website every few hours 24 hours a day because of the time stamp. I know that if you're just dating someone and not in a committed relationship, you can do whatever you want. But I am wondering if it is callous for a guy who is pursuing you to be so brazenly, openly, and constantly visiting a travel website known to be used for sex/hookups and then tell you that he will be away for all of next month? Seems like he doesn't care what I or anyone thinks of him? It also makes me think he will be visiting people that he found on this website. I have been burned more times than I can count by lying, cheating men in the past and so I am very wary. I am bothered by the fact that he is so confident that I will stick around and wait for him to come back and continue dating me after he enjoys a month of traveling (and maybe screwing whoever he has contacted on that hookup website?) It's also bothering me that I can't tell if he is gay in the closet or actually bisexual (my gaydar does not believe he is straight). He seems determined to talk to me and joined a couple of club activities that I'm involved in even though I've been giving him the cold shoulder. I don't mean to jump to conclusions, but I don't want to be played for a fool. What would you do? Edited October 7, 2016 by 4blossoms
Miss Spider Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) Nevermind!!!sorry Edited October 7, 2016 by Cookiesandough
Toodaloo Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 I had no idea the couch surfing was for gay hook ups... Anyway. Don't do it. You don't feel comfortable with it and regardless of whether something is or isn't going on your will always have your suspicions. Leave well enough alone. 2
JewelD Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 You're probably reading way too far into things. But if you somehow came to the conclusion that he's gay and using a website to hook up with strangers, stop talking to him.
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