No_Go Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I think is awful to be with someone who refuses to take part in actions that are 'needs' - like changing diapers or doing his/her house chores. But I can't apply the same logic for 'wants' - like going out partying at night with friends. If I were OP's BF, I'd suggest her go party alone, and then go out together with her friends to something that he's comfortable with - e.g. lunch or a walk. Not participating in an activity that repulses you (like partying or drinking for me) should not be a deal breaker, refusing to participate in any activities (i.e. actively avoiding someone's friends) - yes, it should be. If you are going to be one-half of a couple, that requires compromise. No one likes to change diapers either, but both have to compromise and do it if they want to raise a family. Some people seriously would be better off just resigning themselves to not marry and just to be alone so they can hibernate and never get out of their comfort zone without being toxic to the ones around them. Women do this easier than men. Men want sex whether they even want any other part of the relationship or not, and that's a bad bargain for the woman. I know someone who's married to someone who won't do anything he doesn't want to do, and what that means is she does everything and can't rely on him for anything except that he does work, but so does she. She can't ever count on that he'll agree to watch the kids. He'll never say yes or no. It's wait and see. Will he come out for dinner at the holidays when her mother is there? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. He hates people over at the house. He's improved some because she has a little more power now that she's working, but he's the one who used to tell her not to work. She finally did anyway because she learned that if she had her own money, he behaved better. Why would anyone want to be married to someone like this? They need to see a psychiatrist and if they cared anything about anyone besides themselves, they would.
basil67 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Introverted people can and do enjoy being around other people. They just run out of energy more quickly and need more time to recharge between events. Don't confuse introversion with being unwilling or unable to socialise. 2
preraph Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I think is awful to be with someone who refuses to take part in actions that are 'needs' - like changing diapers or doing his/her house chores. But I can't apply the same logic for 'wants' - like going out partying at night with friends. If I were OP's BF, I'd suggest her go party alone, and then go out together with her friends to something that he's comfortable with - e.g. lunch or a walk. Not participating in an activity that repulses you (like partying or drinking for me) should not be a deal breaker, refusing to participate in any activities (i.e. actively avoiding someone's friends) - yes, it should be. It's the same people. If they're too selfish and stubborn and anxious or whatever their problem is to make the least little compromise and go out in public with their woman once in a while, these are the same gents who don't do anything else they don't want to do either.
ASG Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I think is awful to be with someone who refuses to take part in actions that are 'needs' - like changing diapers or doing his/her house chores. But I can't apply the same logic for 'wants' - like going out partying at night with friends. If I were OP's BF, I'd suggest her go party alone, and then go out together with her friends to something that he's comfortable with - e.g. lunch or a walk. Not participating in an activity that repulses you (like partying or drinking for me) should not be a deal breaker, refusing to participate in any activities (i.e. actively avoiding someone's friends) - yes, it should be. To be honest, that to me is a deal breaker. Just because we wouldn't be compatible at all. I like going out and hanging with friends both in big and in small groups. Having an SO that is not comfortable with that, not even as a compromise... not ok. But then... I wouldn't be dating someone who wasn't into the same sort of social scene as I am. And this has nothing to do with being introverted. I have loads of introverted friends who party like animals. Only thing is, they don't do it every day. And in OPs case, it seems BF is all good to go out partying with HIS friends. Just not with OP and her friends. Again, I say... dealbreaker!
joseb Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I'm not really seeing this guy as some kind of anti social that won't go out. Maybe he just doesn't like getting blotto with a group of people he doesn't know (mainly girls perhaps)?
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