ahmina Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I am 19 and my boyfriend of 1 year is 20, this morning he told me that he had sex with my cousin before him and i met. I feel so heartbroken and betrayed and i can't bring myself to talk to him. we're both so in love with eachother and im sure of that but i feel horrible. especially since i am virgin and he's had sex with multiple girls and i guess i was disappointed enough as is that he's not virign but the fact that one of the girls he's slept with is my cousin, i cant even describe how i feel. i dont know what to do, am i over reacting or is something like this actually a deal breaker?
duncsvoice Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Everyone has a past. You guys didn't even know each other. It's not a big deal. 1
Gaeta Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Aww the silly things we worry about when we are young. In the big picture it's nothing. In 10 years you think that will matter? But you feel how you feel and we cannot ask you to process your thoughts and feelings as if you were 40 years old. That being said, you take time to think about it. Let the dust fall down and see how you feel about it in a few days. If all this being a virgin is important to you than you need to find a boyfriend with your values.
stillafool Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Why do you feel betrayed when this happened before he even knew you?
Kelley Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I agree with the above, it was before you met. If you read a few of the other threads in cheating, you will be happy that it didn't happen while you were together It's a shock of all the people and he slept with your cousin right? That will go away as quick as it came, you love your b/f, he is good to you right? Then don't push him away.
smackie9 Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, it's what you think. There is nothing wrong with how you feel, in fact it's quite normal. There is no right or wrong, whatever you decide and can live with is your own.....don't let anyone tell you any different. What I can't understand is why he even bother to tell you, knowing full well how much it would hurt you and the fact that he kept it from you for a year.....sorry but he is a weasel. 1
kendahke Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I am 19 and my boyfriend of 1 year is 20, this morning he told me that he had sex with my cousin before him and i met. I feel so heartbroken and betrayed and i can't bring myself to talk to him. I can see why--you thought he should have told you he had sex with your cousin before he began having sex with you. Did he not know you two were blood relatives once he started seeing you? Sounds like she didn't mention her relationship to you to him and he didn't mention having sex with her to you. we're both so in love with eachother and im sure of that but i feel horrible. especially since i am virgin and he's had sex with multiple girls and i guess i was disappointed enough as is that he's not virign but the fact that one of the girls he's slept with is my cousin, i cant even describe how i feel. Well, right here, you set yourself up for that by assuming he was a virgin instead of asking him if he was a virgin before you began having sex with him. Questions like that need to be answered if your heart is set on losing your virginity to another virgin. i dont know what to do, am i over reacting or is something like this actually a deal breaker? Now, the main question here is: when did he find out that she was your cousin? Did he know before he started dating you or after? I don't think you're over reacting all that much, but I do think you have to keep in mind that what happened before you and he met was fair play--neither of them owed you an explanation at the time. To be honest, your cousin doesn't owe you one now because she isn't dating you and she was free to have sex with whomever she wanted. If she didn't know he was going to start dating you in the near future, why should she have told you her business? Things like that happen sometimes. If you're that disgusted by it, dump him. Otherwise, you need to find a way to get over it because the earth isn't going to spin backwards to the moment before they both got in bed with each other so they could change course because you and he were getting together in the future.
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