planb1973 Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I met this woman on a dating site 6 weeks ago, she initiated the conversation, and I asked her out right away. First date was great and I asked her out again to which she eagerly accepted, but then flaked on making plans. We end up going out again but I wasn't feeling a connection building and me dealing with some depression we didn't communicate for a couple weeks. I had bought a ticket to see a play she was in and got a hold of her to wish her luck and she responded with wanting to go out for drinks later. We have been out a couple of times since then and though the outings have been brief we both seem to have a good time together. However every time I have gone in for a kiss she just kisses me on the cheek. I'm all for going slow but we are both in our 40's and certainly not inexperienced. A few things about her I have noticed. She is a bit of a free spirit, she is very busy with work and acting in the evenings, she does not initiate dates or conversations, but responds eagerly right away, she talks a lot and is an Aquarius. I did snoop her FB and every date we have been on she has posted something about it, but no other sign of anyone else or other dates. Gawd I just just cant get a handle on this woman. The more I have gotten to know her the more I really like her, but just a kiss on the cheek? We are going out this weekend and I could use some advise on how to take things further. 1
Arieswoman Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 planb1973, She is a bit of a free spirit, Your answer is here ^^ She doesn't seem interested in any serious dating at the moment, for whatever reason. She may be used to the single lifestyle. She may be getting over a breakup - who knows? Aquarians are known to be free spirits and tend to march to the beat of a different drum. They can also be unconventionial, quirky and are often friendly but cool. It depends how long you want to give this, but I don't think she's really into you, no matter what the stars say If you want some passion, drama and hot sex try a Scorpio - if you can stand the pace
Vado Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 I did snoop her FB and every date we have been on she has posted something about it She sees you as a friend, in your 40's you don't turn the cheek if you have any romantic interest, free spirit or not, and quote above is a sign too. Most girls keep it quiet in the early stages when they meet a date/soon to be boyfriend/fwb, but if it comes to friends: shout it out loud! Can't have enough friends, can you? 3
ChatroomHero Posted October 6, 2016 Posted October 6, 2016 Vado is dead on. Free spirits can be very touchy-feely, they'll even make out with people seemingly at random, hold hands...and not have any real connection or interest. What I have found is that when a free spirit is into someone they will be super into them, like annoyingly super into them 10 seconds after they meet them. If they are not super into you, you're just a fun guy they don't mind being seen with. It sounds like she has no deep interest from what you describe and will probably frustrate you if you are not into the flirty-friend dates where nothing happens. 2
scooby-philly Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Hey OP, Sorry you're in this situation. However, from what you've shared already, this seems like a no go. Don't waste any more time. There could be a 1001 different reasons why she's been friendly. From the normal, to the bizarre, to the self-gratuitous. Regardless of whether or not she's a "free spirit" - the attraction isn't there on her part - or if it is.... she's not showing it. I'd leave well enough alone and move on. One clear point - a lot of people want the whole "relationship" thing b/c it's ingrained in our minds by culture. However, a lot of people don't have the ability to truly commit to something, aren't really capable of a "relationship" b/c of their personality, or are honestly just looking to fill in the down-time in their lives. Move on. But use this as an opportunity to go within yourself to find out a little bit more about what you want.
preraph Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 If you've gone in for it and she won't, time to ask her what is going on. Doesn't sound interested in your physically to me. But ask her and find out. Maybe she's uber religious or something.
Author planb1973 Posted October 8, 2016 Author Posted October 8, 2016 If you've gone in for it and she won't, time to ask her what is going on. Doesn't sound interested in your physically to me. But ask her and find out. Maybe she's uber religious or something. I highly doubt she is religious, but there does seem something off. Its almost like she is nervous, or a bit of anxiety when its time to say goodbye. I know the last date we were on I was obviously sick and it was a late at night quick drink. We are going out later tonight for some comedy. Part of me doesnt want to even go anymore, but oh well no harm no foul. I'm already to walk away from this one as in this will most likely be the last time I see her. It just sad I was starting to like her, but I'm NOT doing the friend bit with some one who I want more from.
Poppy47 Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 I highly doubt she is religious, but there does seem something off. Its almost like she is nervous, or a bit of anxiety when its time to say goodbye. I know the last date we were on I was obviously sick and it was a late at night quick drink. We are going out later tonight for some comedy. Part of me doesnt want to even go anymore, but oh well no harm no foul. I'm already to walk away from this one as in this will most likely be the last time I see her. It just sad I was starting to like her, but I'm NOT doing the friend bit with some one who I want more from. You are quite right to leave this one if you aren't happy with it. To be honest, she sounds a bit like me at the moment. I have been dating a man whom I find to be attractive, honest, intelligent and considerate. I just don't want to take it to a physical level with him or live in his pocket. Go and find somebody who is into you. Poppy
ChatroomHero Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 I highly doubt she is religious, but there does seem something off. Its almost like she is nervous, or a bit of anxiety when its time to say goodbye. I know the last date we were on I was obviously sick and it was a late at night quick drink. We are going out later tonight for some comedy. Part of me doesnt want to even go anymore, but oh well no harm no foul. I'm already to walk away from this one as in this will most likely be the last time I see her. It just sad I was starting to like her, but I'm NOT doing the friend bit with some one who I want more from. Sounds a bit like she is anxious and hoping you won't make a move so she doesn't lose her buddy by rejecting you. Good luck, sounds like you know what you have to do if she steers you to the friendzone tonight.
joseb Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 You are quite right to leave this one if you aren't happy with it. To be honest, she sounds a bit like me at the moment. I have been dating a man whom I find to be attractive, honest, intelligent and considerate. I just don't want to take it to a physical level with him or live in his pocket. Go and find somebody who is into you. Poppy Hi poppy. Can I ask you why are you dating him then? You see the flaw in it but keep doing it...
Poppy47 Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Hi poppy. Can I ask you why are you dating him then? You see the flaw in it but keep doing it... Of course I see the flaw in it. It's a story... dated for about a month, thought it was going well. Didn't commit to anything as I knew I was going O/S for a month. I have only been back for a week or so. Saw him twice and realised I didn't want to take things any further. I'm not anymore dating him anymore now. Poppy.
Poutrew Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 Also don't forget, she is an actress. Sounds like she is using her skills to keep you on the frendly-go round. Most actors are well, full of bullshyt, have the gift of gab, and can make you think the world revolves around you, but it is all deception. She sees you as a means to an end and a G rated end at that. My opinion is you should be glad she doesn't turn the big guns on you - she probably has the skills to make you believe she is totally in love with you and you would be so lost in the script she weaves you wouldn't know your butt from a hole in the ground. You need to walk away now, and hope she lets you go without a fight... for the sake of your sanity. Actors are baaad news...
Author planb1973 Posted October 9, 2016 Author Posted October 9, 2016 Also don't forget, she is an actress. Sounds like she is using her skills to keep you on the frendly-go round. Most actors are well, full of bullshyt, have the gift of gab, and can make you think the world revolves around you, but it is all deception. She sees you as a means to an end and a G rated end at that. My opinion is you should be glad she doesn't turn the big guns on you - she probably has the skills to make you believe she is totally in love with you and you would be so lost in the script she weaves you wouldn't know your butt from a hole in the ground. You need to walk away now, and hope she lets you go without a fight... for the sake of your sanity. Actors are baaad news... I get the whole actress thing. I was involved in theater through college on the tech side and never understood actors. I always felt I could not trust someone who spends so much time pretending to be someone else. I think this woman does it for the attention, and she has a need to always be busy. I asked her about it once and she more or less told me she does it to avoid having to deal with real life stuff because she is always second guessing herself. Driving to the date I lost all interest in even going, or broaching the subject of what is going on here. She got to the comedy show a bit late and I let her pay for the drinks. I was feeling very distant and just let it be that. I did chuckle at myself when one of the comedians asked who was single in the crowd. I raised my hand she didn't, and kind of looked at me funny. Drove her home right after the show and didn't suggest another date. She however leaned over kissed me on the lips and said next time we are doing something relaxing like lets go mushroom picking next weekend. I'm done. If she wants to get a hold of me and set something up I would go, but my pursuit is over. I do have very strong intuition and here is what I read. There is something in her past she is avoiding. She likes men who are emotionally unavailable, and gets hurt by them. Back to the avoidance part. She does like me but being available scares her. There is some damage in there that she doesn't want to look at so I am kept at a safe distance. I know enough to know its time to walk.
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