Delicaterose00 Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 My ex left me 2 months ago. It was a 2 year relationship. He cheated on me.... I am still not coping well... Im not feeling like my world is over anymore, but what is getting me is the jelousy... how do I get rid of feeling jelous over girls he is with???? Im still thinking of all the good times, and try to think of all the bad, but its so hard... I cant relax at any time durring the day, he is always in my mind!!!! I stopped talking to him a few days ago... I found my hate and anger for him that i should have felt in the beginning, but part of me still loves him.....I thought he was the one.. we even looked at rings..... Please I need advice badly.. Im tired of being sad and depressed everyday. I have dated a few guys but I cant seem to stop comparing..... I cant seem to like thme cause they are not Mike...... but then again, my major issue is to stop feeling jelous... I cant stand it... !!!!!!!!!!!! I still cry everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I alone?? Is anyone else feeling sad and hurt, and still cant eat right!!! Still cant sleep right!!!!! I cant even go out and have a great time still.......When I see skinny girls... who are really pretty, thoughs are the types he is into... I think of him and think how he would love them.. and want them.. even if I see a pretty chick on TV, I have to turn the station!!!! Plus the girl he cheated on me with I wonder all the time what she looks like.. I know she is a twig... but thats all I know.... Im not a big girl... Im average.. but it pisses me off that he can get anyone he wants!!!!!!!!!!! Im so hurt so jelous.. someone help me!!!!!!! I dont want to feel alone anymore either... I hate being lonely.. and the 3 guys I did date after Mike, were all jerks,.. so are there any normal guys out there who know what they want anymore.. lmao lmao.... Love, Kristen Moderator's Note: please read the site's guidelines before continuing to post. Email addresses or other personal contact information are not allowed in threads at LoveShack.org. Thanks for your cooperation
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Delicaterose00 my major issue is to stop feeling jelous... I cant stand it... !!!!!!!!!!!! I still cry everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I alone?? Is anyone else feeling sad and hurt, and still cant eat right!!! Still cant sleep right!!!!! I cant even go out and have a great time still....... Hi Kristen, These are all normal feelings for this stage of the grieving process. They won't last for ever, I promise. But right now it's natural for you to feel jealous and cry. Having problems eating and sleeping is normal too. Wherever you go, you are bound to see things which remind you of him, and he will be your first thought in the morning... ... until one day, he won't be. And you'll suddenly realise you're not crying anymore. And eating well. To speed your recovery, start doing things which focus on you and your future. Not on him and the relationship. Self-improvement, exercise, your hobbies. This too shall pass. Romeo
NiCoLe20 Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 hey girl! i know its tough now, but time will only heal the pain ur feeling right now. do u have any close friends to help you thru this? hang wit the girls and it will help take ur mind off of him. sign up for the gym! take out your anger and frusrations on the treadmill and before you know it you'll be in shape and if you ever cross paths with your x again, he'll wish he would've kept you!! ive been where you are and i know it sucks. you'll get through it, if he really truely loved you, hewouldnt even thought of being with another girl. atleast this happened now instead of another year or two down the road. take this time to care for yourself, get anew haircut, get some new shoes!!! you'll feel better and youll meet someone in no time... hope this helps a little... good luck and kepp us posted!
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 I just read this book called letting go.... my 2 year realtionship that just ended in May is killing me still...... The book is helping but it dont help with jelousy.. I guess there is no cure for it. I feel sooooooooooo alone and I want to cry so I came on here to get some more support so I dont cry.... Im tired of crying.. I want to know whats its like to be happy again and enjoy life!!!!!!!!!!!
agnf666 Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 First sorry to hear about your relationship. Second, it's going to take a long time to heal from that relationship. So, it is perfectly fine to still be upset. Doing no contact will help the situation. If you live in the same town try not to run into him. Basically the less you see him the less you will think about him. I know it's hard. I think it will all get better progressively. Good Luck.
Candy Cane Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Real bummer on your relationship. Why were you guys still talking up until a few days ago? You really need to quit talking to that boy as to drive the message home. The message being that he's a jerk and that you are too good for him. You should calm down and realize that everything is going to be A-OK. I'm sure you feel powerless but tell yourself that you're not. There is no situation that you can't ultimately get control over. Tell yourself that it's not him who's dumping you but you who is dumping him....and under no circumstances are you going to want him back...because he simply did not meet your expectations. And he didn't, did he? Oh yeah...he's going to miss you. He's going to miss you BIG TIME. As far as other men are concerned, tell yourself that you can have anyone you want...you can even have Mike back if you wanted. Too bad for him that's no longer an option. Right?
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Well I couldnt let go for a while. and had to keep talking to him..... then a few days ago I text him I hated him and that I took his number out of my phone.. he emailed me and said I was being ****ty about this, that he was been nothing but nice to me.. he is thinking about me and stuff and he still loves me.... he said he still wants to stay in contact... ( so he can have his cake and eat it too right?) he knows that I want to be left alone so he has been doing that, but he wants to talk to me... he is like.. if its ment to be it will happen.. I just need time... WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Candy Cane Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Oh he's TYPICAL. Sometimes guys need a lesson on what's acceptable behavior in a relationship. His indecisiveness is not acceptable behavior. If he calls, tell him to take all the time in the world he wants to figure things out in his little head...but to cease contact with you completely. That you are no longer interested. Don't say anything more. Let him figure the rest out. Then hang up...and don't accept calls from him. Only if he comes over to your house with flowers in his hand, crying for forgiveness, should you even consider taking him back. Trust me, guys don't want a woman who will willingly take the crap they dish out. Your man is begging you to draw the line. It tells him that you respect yourself...and in turn, he'll respect you.
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 He plays with my mind.. everytime I try to say good bye he is like.. well you never know whats going to happen, you dont know I might not come back.... WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ABOUT! I was with this guy Matt I have been seeing for a few weeks, and I slept over there... I felt like I should have been laying with Mike, not him.. I cant get him out of my head, he is in there on a 24 hour basis..... Im so heartbroken!!! I have been crying all morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Candy Cane Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Calm down....seriously. There is absolutely no reason to be heartbroken. You can get him back if you really want him. If you want him back then devise your plan.... Just wait until he calls you, and then act all cool...and if he says something like getting back together, act like you could care less. Tell him that you've been less than impressed with him and that you'd have to see a lot of changing on his part before you'd even consider having him back. Tell him about Matt and how great things are going and how you're glad the break up happened. Trust me, Mike isn't going to want to hear all this. Soon, he'll be banging on your door wondering why the change of heart. No...there's no guarantees...but I'd put my money on the above plan getting him back sooner than your pining over him and crying your eyes out in sorrow. Are up at least willing to give it a shot?
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 I have tried that already.. saying good bye.. saying I never wanted him back, telling him about all the guys I have been dating.. he doesnt care..... he says he is content the way he is now, and thats that. He still loves me.. but he dont know what he wants.. he says it bothers him a little I see other people but nothing horrible....he can deal with it.. he is sorry but he isnt coming back right now..... maybe later.....
Candy Cane Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 Make him believe you this time. If you do it right, he'll believe you. Tell him that you DON'T WANT HIM BACK. Don't act upset...act indifferent. There's a BIG difference. And then do not accept his calls. My ex...I told him to bugger off the other day...he'd been giving me the same runaround you've been given by your ex. He didn't believe me either because I've said it so many times...but I enforced it...by not pursuing him afterwards and acting like I could care less about him. It took very little effort. Now, I'm starting to see some improvement. It is never too late to drive the message home. Even if you've made empty threats in the past...eventually they'll see that you mean it this time if you are consistent. That's the only way you'll see a change in them.
RecordProducer Posted July 9, 2005 Posted July 9, 2005 DR, I have good news for you: the jerk finally removed himself from your life. He's been the source of your unhappiness for a while and it's over now. I know it hurts, I know how it feels. When my ex-husband left me I cried all the time for a year and felt life dying. Everyone I met was an idiot, guys used me for sex and I didn't like them either. But then I realized that I was better off without him and started feeling differntly about him. 2.5 years after we split I met a guy who helped me to completely forget about the ex. Now I met another guy and fell in love with him. I can't even understand how I could've been so in love with my ex. You'll get over him, trust me! You'll be happy in love, but not like with him - much happier!
Author Delicaterose00 Posted July 9, 2005 Author Posted July 9, 2005 I just feel like Im so alone in this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god.. Im so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep telling myself that I have to stop all contact.... texting, email, calling.... but its soooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im in love... in love with someone who lied to me and cheated on me............. my cousin said to me today... his love was fake cause if he really loved the way he said he did he wouldnt have done that.. I said to her.. its like that movie. Mrs. Doubtfire.... she was not real but at the end of the movie they still missed her.. lmao... I know Im crazy arent I? lol lol. I know Ill be fine, but do I want to be fine with out him??
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