Author SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Author Posted October 7, 2016 FWB can be a LTR. Yes, it is a relationship. For me, it simply means the partners have an understanding that the relationship is primarily sexual and is uncommitted. Meaning that either partner can have other partners. I believe it works best with mature people who can respect and appreciate each other without getting emotionally tangled. FWB doesn't have to be emotionless wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am situations. It can take on aspects of a relationship without the need to tie each other down or put a committed label on the relationship. How far that goes depends on the people in the relationship. How comfortable they are with themselves and each other. 3
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 FWB can be a LTR. Yes, it is a relationship. For me, it simply means the partners have an understanding that the relationship is primarily sexual and is uncommitted. Meaning that either partner can have other partners. I believe it works best with mature people who can respect and appreciate each other without getting emotionally tangled. FWB doesn't have to be emotionless wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am situations. It can take on aspects of a relationship without the need to tie each other down or put a committed label on the relationship. How far that goes depends on the people in the relationship. How comfortable they are with themselves and each other. Fair enough. Probably not mature enough myself to sustain a FWB / LTR thing without getting emotionally invested or committed but if it works for you guys, all the better . 3
Gloria25 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Fair enough. Probably not mature enough myself to sustain a FWB / LTR thing without getting emotionally invested or committed but if it works for you guys, all the better . I don't think maturity has to do with whether or not you become attached to your FWB...humans are humans, plus when sex happens, biology takes over and people get attached. Also, while variety and creativity in the bedroom can keep things interesting, they also can lead to people attaching a bit more. 1
Author SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Author Posted October 7, 2016 When I was younger, I was much more anxious about turning encounters into committed relationships. Much more likely to get emotionally tied to a person I was sexually involved with. Now, I can be honest about my desire to not be married or not be in a committed relationship again. She's the same way. We can be honest with each other - even emotionally involved - while still recognizing the relationship has its limits. Sure, you don't have to be mature to have a successful FWB relationship. It just helps to have a level of comfort with the arrangement and I reached that level when I became more mature. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 When I was younger, I was much more anxious about turning encounters into committed relationships. Much more likely to get emotionally tied to a person I was sexually involved with. Now, I can be honest about my desire to not be married or not be in a committed relationship again. She's the same way. We can be honest with each other - even emotionally involved - while still recognizing the relationship has its limits. Sure, you don't have to be mature to have a successful FWB relationship. It just helps to have a level of comfort with the arrangement and I reached that level when I became more mature. Yeah, not being enmeshed with someone else full-time sounds kind of healthy, really. Does the non exclusivity part not cause issues, though? I mean I don't think I'll ever reach a point in my life when I'd be ok licking food off two different guys I'd care about equally in the same week, if that makes sense. Just seems something too special to share around, but I guess different strokes for different folks and all that. 1
Author SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Author Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) Yeah, not being enmeshed with someone else full-time sounds kind of healthy, really. Does the non exclusivity part not cause issues, though? I mean I don't think I'll ever reach a point in my life when I'd be ok licking food off two different guys I'd care about equally in the same week, if that makes sense. Just seems something too special to share around, but I guess different strokes for different folks and all that. That's understandable. Honestly, I've also been more careful and less likely to put my mouth certain places when other people are involved. Right now, it's just the two of us and we're very comfortable with each other. It helps to be fluid and flexible in FWB relationships. Adaptable. You don't lose all common sense just because no one is committed. That's why honesty and respect are so important. To me, at least. ETA: Non-exclusivity doesn't cause problems for me. I'm not a jealous person. Very comfortable with myself and confident in my ability to find somebody else. I'm not bothered or threatened by other men at this point in my life. When someone does start to catch feelings, it's necessary to reaffirm the boundaries. Or redefine the relationship. Or end it. Edited October 7, 2016 by MidKnightDreams 3
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 That's understandable. Honestly, I've also been more careful and less likely to put my mouth certain places when other people are involved. Right now, it's just the two of us and we're very comfortable with each other. It helps to be fluid and flexible in FWB relationships. Adaptable. You don't lose all common sense just because no one is committed. That's why honesty and respect are so important. To me, at least. ETA: Non-exclusivity doesn't cause problems for me. I'm not a jealous person. Very comfortable with myself and confident in my ability to find somebody else. I'm not bothered or threatened by other men at this point in my life. When someone does start to catch feelings, it's necessary to reaffirm the boundaries. Or redefine the relationship. Or end it. Ok. I'm not jealous either but I like the idea that people enter relationships with what they believe to be the best possible partner at the time. So it me it's not so much a question of being threatened by other people, it's just the idea that my partner is the best of the crop, and therefore I have no need to add other people to the mix. Plus cultural / educational differences, most probably - exclusivity or nothing: that's how I was raised, and that's what works for me. That said, I like the idea of keeping things fluid, as in no label, perhaps like an exclusive FWB type of the situation. 1
Author SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Author Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) Ok. I'm not jealous either but I like the idea that people enter relationships with what they believe to be the best possible partner at the time. So it me it's not so much a question of being threatened by other people, it's just the idea that my partner is the best of the crop, and therefore I have no need to add other people to the mix. Plus cultural / educational differences, most probably - exclusivity or nothing: that's how I was raised, and that's what works for me. That said, I like the idea of keeping things fluid, as in no label, perhaps like an exclusive FWB type of the situation. That's a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think a fundamental part of FWB relationships is the ability to come and go as you please. To date other people, if you choose to. Edited October 7, 2016 by MidKnightDreams 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 That's a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think a fundamental part of FWB relationships is the ability to come and go as you please. To date other people, if you choose to. Damn it, good point! I wish it were possible to come and go as you please and still be exclusive - that would be the ideal relationship.
Alamo657 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 FWB can be a LTR. Yes, it is a relationship. For me, it simply means the partners have an understanding that the relationship is primarily sexual and is uncommitted. Meaning that either partner can have other partners. I believe it works best with mature people who can respect and appreciate each other without getting emotionally tangled. FWB doesn't have to be emotionless wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am situations. It can take on aspects of a relationship without the need to tie each other down or put a committed label on the relationship. How far that goes depends on the people in the relationship. How comfortable they are with themselves and each other. Mature FWB situations are better suited for people who have their **** together, and do not feel incompetent or threatened on the dating stage. If you feel like you're a good catch and can build a relationship with a likewise person, then entering a FWB relationships without the pull for a "serious relationship" is that much more possible. Kudos to you and her ! 1
Gloria25 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 That's a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think a fundamental part of FWB relationships is the ability to come and go as you please. To date other people, if you choose to. Ummm, Well, I don't get into FWBs cuz I wanna keep my options open and/or I wanna see more than one guy at a time. I do FWB (remember, 1st rule is to not discuss FWB!!!) cuz, I can only take contact in small doses. I guess cuz of my childhood I learned not to trust and open up, and that guys will eventually disappoint you so no reason to rely on a guy and/or invest much attachment to one. I wouldn't put down marrying a guy if he would be content a possible childless marriage and me being stoic/quiet at times. But, most people unfortunately marry with this notion that the only way it will last is if you're locked down with kids and shared bills. Sorry, but I don't have 18 years to diss my man to have a herd of kidlets. If my man thinks that we need kids to tolerate each other for 18 plus years, then bye-bye baby!!! 1
preraph Posted October 9, 2016 Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) I know. What she likes is kinda like the food scene from 9 1/2 Weeks. Teasing. Playing. Feeding. That scene - well, that whole movie - was sexy. To watch. I just have ... issues. I'm going to make the best of it though. Going to do my best to relax, have fun and not worry about cleaning everything as soon possible. God, I hated that movie. Not wanting to go down on a fruit coated toe is not you having issues. That's like eating the facial masque after you're done exfoliating the dead cells. I'd opt for the whipped cream and plenty of it, but she probably won't be satisfied with you just eating that and not her feet. Yuck. I mean, this is a whole lot like giving BJs. Some people enjoy it for the power it gives them over the receiver, but intrinsically, it has nothing to offer. If you do something you don't enjoy, it's a gift and it's not fair for someone to expect it. Edited October 9, 2016 by preraph
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