It's official: Online dating is a complete joke

October 7, 2016

Just curious, but if you get a lot of attention out in person, why bother with OLD to begin with? I've always wanted to know why an attractive woman would still use OLD if they have so many options in person already.

That's because they have found no one in person that they'd consider dating. I've met women like this, though they consider these men good friends, she is in no way attracted to them.

Some women have even complained, "I can't find any single men (I'm attracted to) in this city, where are all the good men?!"

October 7, 2016

I am surprised that no one even considered that these ladies online are the one that may want to change their technique,lighten up on their strict criteria, and consider being open to some of these men contacting them.

The first thing I would say is that a lot of guys are the same. They don't consider 'ugly' women or women with kids, etc in the equation. When I was doing OLD, I at least responded to all comers. You never know. I'm dating somebody right now who is physically beautiful, but if I were back at it tomorrow, I'd consider women way less beautiful and not consider it 'settling', or whatever.

I can tell you that many women/people view dating somebody 'unattractive' as an utterly disgusting thing. To me, if somebody has good qualities, then some life time spent with them is good time.

Hey, everybody lives life the way they want. But there's thousands of different colors of jelly beans.

There are women/people who buck the trend. My girlfriend has this friend and she is young, and blonde, and hot, and she has a good job. And she dates a guy who is short, way older, not rich, and has kids. And they seem to have fun together.

Is finding a woman like that like winning a slot jackpot? I'd probably agree yes, but so what? You have the rest of your life to play.

October 7, 2016

Yes it was tongue in cheek, but not entirely without truth.
As soon as she got that selfie and some, what she considered, "over the top" texting, she stopped responding.
That is how easy it is to turn someone off on OLD (one Red Sox hat wearing selfie and a few sentences and it is all over). She put her own feelings, experiences and desires into her reaction, and she decided she didn't like it.
There is really no chance to retrieve the situation either.

IRL one glimpse of her [insert "bad" emotion of choice] face and you could probably have won her over again with a joke or a witty comment, but with OLD and texting, you are consigned to the rubbish heap. NO chance of recovery.

It is no coincidence that people who are have emotional intelligence and who are witty and charming like "normal.person" appears to be, do well on OLD.
They know what to say and when to say it, they do not invade personal spaces, they do not become irritating or annoying and if they sense resistance, they know how to smooth things over or they just cut their losses and move on swiftly. They do not stay till the bitter end, until they are essentially told to get lost in no uncertain manner.

For any man, who doesn't have "the gift of the gab", or who cannot "sell" himself, or who has little to offer, or who is not very in tune with what women think in general or who is not very socially aware, or who may give off a desperate or bitter vibe then OLD is definitely NOT for him. (unless he is willing to work on himself and change).

He needs to rely on meeting women IRL, women he can persuade over days, months, years even, that he is worth the effort to get to know.

I think you're over analyzing this.

The girl is nuts. That pretty much explains everything.

You know, it's at the point with some of these woman where texting a "K" will get you accused of being needy.

And I have decided to meet people in real life. The last time I did, it lasted over a decade.

Also, what is your take on the ones who never leave OLD? Is it because they can't find anyone or is it because getting 70 compliments a day in the inbox is too hard to walk away from?

Edited October 7, 2016 by StillSingle

October 7, 2016

The first thing I would say is that a lot of guys are the same. They don't consider 'ugly' women or women with kids, etc in the equation. When I was doing OLD, I at least responded to all comers. You never know. I'm dating somebody right now who is physically beautiful, but if I were back at it tomorrow, I'd consider women way less beautiful and not consider it 'settling', or whatever.

I can tell you that many women/people view dating somebody 'unattractive' as an utterly disgusting thing. To me, if somebody has good qualities, then some life time spent with them is good time.

Hey, everybody lives life the way they want. But there's thousands of different colors of jelly beans.

There are women/people who buck the trend. My girlfriend has this friend and she is young, and blonde, and hot, and she has a good job. And she dates a guy who is short, way older, not rich, and has kids. And they seem to have fun together.

Is finding a woman like that like winning a slot jackpot? I'd probably agree yes, but so what? You have the rest of your life to play.

I'm not sure where you going with this response to my post. I think you said something about dating someone that's unattractive, and that wasn't really my point. I said that with the amount of time these ladies had spent on these OLD dating sites and complained about their 2nd or 3rd go-around at it, they may want to lighten up on their unrealistic criteria.

Also, what is your take on the ones who never leave OLD? Is it because they can't find anyone or is it because getting 70 compliments a day in the inbox is too hard to walk away from?

That could be the case, seems some enjoy getting their ego stroke than actually meeting for lunch. lol

October 7, 2016

Some of the people who are on dating sites for long periods of time are on there just for fun...some of the women who get lots of messages like the attention, ego boost, etc. Some of them may even make fun of some of the profiles and messages with their friends. Heck, some of them may even have actual boyfriends...and their BFs may even be aware and join in on the ridicule and mirth.

Others are on there for hookups.

Other men who are on dating sites for a long time are probably desperate...but are either too naive or too afraid to pursue their IRL avenues for meeting women. It may very well be that their lack of success on OLD is damaging their self-esteem.

It is unwise to take popular dating sites too seriously, and it is wise to take damn near everything you see in a dating profile (and pics and messages) with a grain of salt.

It is no coincidence that people who are have emotional intelligence and who are witty and charming like "normal.person" appears to be, do well on OLD.
They know what to say and when to say it, they do not invade personal spaces, they do not become irritating or annoying and if they sense resistance, they know how to smooth things over or they just cut their losses and move on swiftly. They do not stay till the bitter end, until they are essentially told to get lost in no uncertain manner.

For any man, who doesn't have "the gift of the gab", or who cannot "sell" himself, or who has little to offer, or who is not very in tune with what women think in general or who is not very socially aware, or who may give off a desperate or bitter vibe then OLD is definitely NOT for him. (unless he is willing to work on himself and change).

He needs to rely on meeting women IRL, women he can persuade over days, months, years even, that he is worth the effort to get to know.

Agreed 100%, especially the bolded. That was my immediate reaction after reading the OP's first post in this thread.

Online dating is like a marketplace where it is necessary for guys to sell themselves well in order to attract attention. Many guys simply do not have the skills, talent, experience and/or lifestyle in order to pull it off. OTOH, meeting women IRL (thru avenues such as social circle, common-interest events, etc...NOT meat-market bars or nightclubs) is NOT like a marketplace. It is more organic, more "human", and much more conducive to a man and woman getting to naturally know each other over time. "Diamond in the rough" type people and people who seem unimpressive at first glance but are actually quite awesome and attractive once you get to know them a bit will do fine IRL but not fare well with online dating. People have a lot of intangibles and other characteristics that don't come across well over the Internet (and in some cases they don't come across at all online), but those same characteristics readily come across face-to-face.

A lot of guys who get on dating sites are on them because they are too shy or socially inept to put themselves out there and organically meet women IRL. Unfortunately for those guys...they aren't going to do any better online. And thus some of them eventually become bitter or turn to despair...thus digging their hole even deeper.

Most guys who do well with online dating also do well meeting women IRL, due to being charming, witty, having good social awareness and having intriguing lives...AND being able to express those things well in a digital medium. The only exception are the tiny percentage of guys who are so busy with work/career that they have little free time to meet women IRL.

The right woman is far more willing to give an "average Joe" a chance if they encounter each other IRL instead of on a dating site.

Everything you read in those women's profiles is hogwash. All of it. Just remember that, and don't try to appeal to it, because appealing to her hogwash will get you nowhere.

Here is what online dating is about; dating down in order to get easy sex. That's pretty much it.Basically, good looking guys message average looking women, because they know that girl will respond and be willing to hook up. This makes those average looking women not bother to answer messages from average looking guys, because they think they can do better. Good looking guy hooks up with average girl once or twice, then ghosts on her, and she is back using online dating, angry about the games that men play. Meanwhile, regular guys looking for a relationship have no luck, get angry, and become bitter.

Regular guys (in terms of looks and personality) with honesty and a semblance of a brain will quickly realize that OLD isn't for them, and will get just off of the dating sites instead of becoming bitter. Most relationship-minded regular guys will do fine meeting compatible women thru friends, at parties, etc. Not online, barring the few that get lucky.

October 7, 2016

GravityMan is spot on. I don't do OLD, but my issue with it is the fallacy that awkward, meek men are going to suddenly be playing on an even playing field if they've got an OLD profile.

October 7, 2016

I said that with the amount of time these ladies had spent on these OLD dating sites and complained about their 2nd or 3rd go-around at it, they may want to lighten up on their unrealistic criteria.

Sometimes ... often, they do.

You see, there's thing called menopause.

October 7, 2016

Yes it was tongue in cheek, but not entirely without truth.
As soon as she got that selfie and some, what she considered, "over the top" texting, she stopped responding.
That is how easy it is to turn someone off on OLD (one Red Sox hat wearing selfie and a few sentences and it is all over). She put her own feelings, experiences and desires into her reaction, and she decided she didn't like it.
There is really no chance to retrieve the situation either.

Some will say your previous comment was ludicrous but I actually agreed with you. I want to make it clear that I don't necessarily agree with the woman who wrote OP off for whatever trivial reason -- but it doesn't really matter what I think, these are the circumstances and my, or another man's, opinions are irrelevant if women have something men want. Our opinions on it don't change the circumstances. It's much easier to just accept this rather than fight it.

Might it be nuts to discredit a guy because he divulges too much or is too old to be obsessed with sports, wearing baseball hats, taking selfies -- whatever the thing is? Yes, it might be nuts. But what I've been expounding for the longest time here is that if someone has something you want (like in this case, their time and attention), they have power and leverage over you and therefore you have to play by whatever asinine rules they have while they dictate the terms. When you're the one whose attention they want, feel free to impose your own laughable criteria to suitors. But that isn't the case here. If you're asking someone for their attention, they're in control, regardless of how ridiculous their standards are. I say this stuff all the time in threads like this but people always scoff at me. Here's a woman echoing the same sort of thing I've been saying.

So struggling men need to adapt to the environment. Either be the one they want to go out with, or if you can't, you may very well have to assimilate to their model of normalcy and walk on egg shells until it's safe to do otherwise.

When people message you, you're largely the one in control. They're trying to win you over. When you message someone else, you have to appeal to them because they hold your fate with you in their hands. I don't know how to dumb it down any further.

Ever consider that these ladies are just unrealistic and are just LOOKING for a reason not to meet someone for 30 mins for a drink or whatever?

I don't really understand the logic behind that. Why go online and set up a profile not to meet people? Their intention is to meet someone they like. The problem is likely that they just can't find that person for what could be a variety of circumstances. Low population density, the general lack of single people their age, and yes, unrealistic standards. My thought has always been if these people are too ignorant to realize those things, who cares? Let them continue down that path until they wise up and change their outlook? They're not hurting anyone but themselves. I don't understand the never ending bitterness towards these people.

I would actually contact them again after several months and open with their hiatus of taking a break and make another go-around, to see if she's more receptive...but still, she isn't.

Woman usually aren't looking for just anyone who messages them. They're looking for someone they like. It's an oversimplification to assume that they didn't have luck before, so they might like you now if you message. It's just not how things work. The reality is, her standards are still unrealistic and/or her circumstances are still not conducive to finding the right person online, but she hasn't realized it, or can't do anything about it.

I am surprised that no one even considered that these ladies online are the one that may want to change their technique,lighten up on their strict criteria, and consider being open to some of these men contacting them.

I sort of agree with you in theory but they're only hurting themselves, so my take on it has always been to let the market put them in check. It inevitably will.

October 7, 2016

To those men who wonder about women who are perpetually on dating sites, aren't you basically the male version of them? Everyone can date down and get off the site, but they don't want to do that. And yes people can have unrealistic expectations.

October 7, 2016

Everyone can date down and get off the site...

I'm not sure if I agree with that.

Let's just say that it was put to the test during my stint at OLD.

You might think a kind of white trashy, overweight, 40 year old high school grad making less than 25K a year and with 3 kids would jump over the chance to go out with a 32 year old average looking guy and pulling in six figures, but that's not really how it works.

That woman would be looking for somebody like herself.

October 7, 2016

I'm not sure if I agree with that.

Let's just say that it was put to the test during my stint at OLD.

You might think a kind of white trashy, overweight, 40 year old high school grad making less than 25K a year and with 3 kids would jump over the chance to go out with a 32 year old average looking guy and pulling in six figures, but that's not really how it works.

That woman would be looking for somebody like herself.

That's a good point actually. Ok so maybe not THAT far down.

October 7, 2016

That's a good point actually. Ok so maybe not THAT far down.

Right.

If you were to stick within your socioeconomic group, say ... early to late 30s, bachelors/masters, 50 to 100K ... and message what were (subjectively) the least attractive women, you'd get some more responses.

But still, those women would by no means be begging to get into a relationship with an average or below looking guy who didn't click with them. Know what I mean?

Edited October 7, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

October 7, 2016

Woman usually aren't looking for just anyone who messages them. They're looking for someone they like.

Why go online and set up a profile not to meet people? Their intention is to meet someone they like. The problem is likely that they just can't find that person for what could be a variety of circumstances. Low population density, the general lack of single people their age, and yes, unrealistic standards. My thought has always been if these people are too ignorant to realize those things, who cares? Let them continue down that path until they wise up and change their outlook? They're not hurting anyone but themselves. I don't understand the never ending bitterness towards these people.

Too true.

Some men get caught up in bitterness over women's choices.

Women like what they like.

The truth is, that women are not often on dating sites to find men they "sort of" like or men they feel uncomfortable with or men they do not like, or men they hate.

The option is always there for a woman to keep looking, to chose no-one, to be happy alone. No-one is obliged to take "the last man standing"...

October 7, 2016

Too true.
Some men get caught up in bitterness over women's choices.
Women like what they like.
The truth is, that women are not often on dating sites to find men they "sort of" like or men they feel uncomfortable with or men they do not like, or men they hate.

The option is always there for a woman to keep looking, to chose no-one, to be happy alone. No-one is obliged to take "the last man standing"...

Well aren't men the same way though? Men don't want to be with someone they "sort of" like either. I just think online dating in general isn't a good option for most people except for good looking women & good looking guys with good jobs. Average looking women get a lot of messages too. Anyone else is going to struggle completely with it outside of those 3 groups in terms of wanting a relationship.

October 8, 2016

Well aren't men the same way though? Men don't want to be with someone they "sort of" like either.

Very true, but at the same time, I think men are often less picky to begin with. The implications of a long term relationship (childbearing, etc) makes women be more selective about partners. Men are biologically inclined to just spread the seed.

That's probably why you see a disproportionate number of men on here complaining that women leave OLD and come back, rather than women complaining about the men. Just a guess.

That's not to say men want to be with someone they "sort of" like either, but I can understand why they might be less hesitant to settle. Again, it's just a guess.

I just think online dating in general isn't a good option for most people except for good looking women & good looking guys with good jobs. Average looking women get a lot of messages too. Anyone else is going to struggle completely with it outside of those 3 groups in terms of wanting a relationship.

I agree for the most part. The technology and circumstances necessary for success in OLD only favor a certain percentage of people. But the lie everyone believes is that just because it exists, it should work for them regardless. I really think to have any shot at success with it you need to at the very least:

- (most importantly) live in a heavily populated area (you can't catch fish in a puddle)

- have some concept of digital social etiquette and norms (no bad profiles/messages, no texting too much ahead of time)

- Be relatively "above average" in some desirable, demonstrable way (the catalog nature of it favors those who stand out)

But the companies would rather you think "OLD is for everyone" rather than "OLD is for urban, digitally-refined, accomplished/smart/rich/good looking people."

The reality is if you don't at least live in a large city or densely populated area, it's probably not going to be of much use for you just because of the lack of other people. And once you realize that and move somewhere more conducive, you still have to keep up with the rest of the crowd.

October 8, 2016

Very true, but at the same time, I think men are often less picky to begin with. The implications of a long term relationship (childbearing, etc) makes women be more selective about partners. Men are biologically inclined to just spread the seed.

That's probably why you see a disproportionate number of men on here complaining that women leave OLD and come back, rather than women complaining about the men. Just a guess.

That's not to say men want to be with someone they "sort of" like either, but I can understand why they might be less hesitant to settle. Again, it's just a guess.

I agree for the most part. The technology and circumstances necessary for success in OLD only favor a certain percentage of people. But the lie everyone believes is that just because it exists, it should work for them regardless. I really think to have any shot at success with it you need to at the very least:

- (most importantly) live in a heavily populated area (you can't catch fish in a puddle)
- have some concept of digital social etiquette and norms (no bad profiles/messages, no texting too much ahead of time)
- Be relatively "above average" in some desirable, demonstrable way (the catalog nature of it favors those who stand out)

But the companies would rather you think "OLD is for everyone" rather than "OLD is for urban, digitally-refined, accomplished/smart/rich/good looking people."

The reality is if you don't at least live in a large city or densely populated area, it's probably not going to be of much use for you just because of the lack of other people. And once you realize that and move somewhere more conducive, you still have to keep up with the rest of the crowd.

Me personally I flat out refuse to settle. I was talking to my friend earlier today a bit about this again & I just said that it seems if I ever want to get a girlfriend I'll likely have to settle which I refuse to do. I have my own deal breakers as well, so you add up the women's standards along with my own deal breakers & it's going to be a long shot realistically for me to meet someone I'd be compatible with.

And yes, exactly as you said. Attractive women shouldn't be complaining at all about it when they have infinite options at their disposal. Of all the messages they get the odds are they're going to get a decent percentage of good messages from genuinely good guys, but a lot of the time these women don't view those guys as good enough to them either in terms of looks or they don't have a good enough job to them or whatever else it is. Attractive women, attractive men with good jobs & average looking women have it best. The rest are pretty much going to get a lot frustration with it where it gets to the point where you could even lose your self-esteem a bit when no one replies back to you or matches with you.

Edited October 8, 2016 by NJ123

October 8, 2016

Me personally I flat out refuse to settle. I was talking to my friend earlier today a bit about this again & I just said that it seems if I ever want to get a girlfriend I'll likely have to settle which I refuse to do. I have my own deal breakers as well, so you add up the women's standards along with my own deal breakers & it's going to be a long shot realistically for me to meet someone I'd be compatible with.

And yes, exactly as you said. Attractive women shouldn't be complaining at all about it when they have infinite options at their disposal. Of all the messages they get the odds are they're going to get a decent percentage of good messages from genuinely good guys, but a lot of the time these women don't view those guys as good enough to them either in terms of looks or they don't have a good enough job to them or whatever else it is. Attractive women, attractive men with good jobs & average looking women have it best. The rest are pretty much going to get a lot frustration with it where it gets to the point where you could even lose your self-esteem a bit when no one replies back to you or matches with you.

I know this is sort of your go-to perspective on OLD, but I continue be to surprised that you've yet to see the irony of proudly declaring that you refuse to settle, while also deriding some women for refusing to settle for less than what they want from a guy.

Your standards and what you value are not superior or more important than some random woman's, or vice versa.

I'll bet there are plenty of women you won't "settle" for who are "genuinely good" people. But for some reason, you seem only irritated that women are passing up "genuinely good" people.

October 8, 2016

When I used OLD, I had a female friend who was also on there. Despite being obese, unemployed, and divorced with 3 kids, she still got more messages online than I did.

Yes, and this speaks volumes. I recall as an experiment, contacting women like this and didn't' get a response from them either.

October 8, 2016

To those men who wonder about women who are perpetually on dating sites, aren't you basically the male version of them? Everyone can date down and get off the site, but they don't want to do that. And yes people can have unrealistic expectations.

Ah, glad you brought up this question, a male version, but not really like them...but we are the result of the women not responding to the men. So men remain in that state for as long as women refuse to respond or give them a shot. The women who remain on those sites are the reason the men remain on the sites.

And yes people can have unrealistic expectations.

Sure, but when they complain or whine about in their profile, "Here I am again for a third time, hope there's no jerks and players here!" and I am thinking, "Yeah, I emailed her last year...she had her shot with me and blew it. Why should she even bother...again?"

October 8, 2016

And yes, exactly as you said. Attractive women shouldn't be complaining at all about it when they have infinite options at their disposal. Of all the messages they get the odds are they're going to get a decent percentage of good messages from genuinely good guys, but a lot of the time these women don't view those guys as good enough to them either in terms of looks or they don't have a good enough job to them or whatever else it is.

This isn't really what I said. I didn't say they shouldn't be complaining, I said "let them complain, who cares?" It's not that they have infinite options, it's that the ones that inevitably come back to OLD are often the victims of circumstances (like low population/dating pool, lack of people who meet their standards, and unrealistic expectations given the context of those things) one way or another. Sure they might get a lot of messages, but if they're still doing OLD after long periods of time, obviously they aren't satisfied with the messages/men/options. That's a far stretch from "infinite options."

Ah, glad you brought up this question, a male version, but not really like them...but we are the result of the women not responding to the men. So men remain in that state for as long as women refuse to respond or give them a shot. The women who remain on those sites are the reason the men remain on the sites.

It's really not as simple as "if they'd just answer me, everyone would be happy." I think their lack of response implies they think they'd be happier without certain men. As I said, most people are looking for someone they like. Not just anyone who messages. If you like them but they don't like you, that's not a wrongdoing on their part. They'll just stay single because they're happier doing that than the alternative. Just because you think they'd be better off answering your message doesn't mean they think they will be. And their opinion is the one that matters if you're asking for their time and attention.

Sure, but when they complain or whine about in their profile, "Here I am again for a third time, hope there's no jerks and players here!" and I am thinking, "Yeah, I emailed her last year...she had her shot with me and blew it. Why should she even bother...again?"

Because she wants someone she likes, not just anyone who messages. Why are you so upset by the fact that someone wants to wait for the person they think is right for them? I don't understand this mentality.

If you've been doing OLD for a while, and someone you found unappealing messaged you and said "well if you answered my message the first time, you wouldn't be where you are! Why would even bother... again?"

Because you have no desire to go out with the person to begin with, so why waste your time with them? Now, take that feeling and apply it to those women you're talking about.

October 8, 2016

This isn't really what I said. I didn't say they shouldn't be complaining, I said "let them complain, who cares?" It's not that they have infinite options, it's that the ones that inevitably come back to OLD are often the victims of circumstances (like low population/dating pool, lack of people who meet their standards, and unrealistic expectations given the context of those things) one way or another. Sure they might get a lot of messages, but if they're still doing OLD after long periods of time, obviously they aren't satisfied with the messages/men/options. That's a far stretch from "infinite options."

It's really not as simple as "if they'd just answer me, everyone would be happy." I think their lack of response implies they think they'd be happier without certain men. As I said, most people are looking for someone they like. Not just anyone who messages. If you like them but they don't like you, that's not a wrongdoing on their part. They'll just stay single because they're happier doing that than the alternative. Just because you think they'd be better off answering your message doesn't mean they think they will be. And their opinion is the one that matters if you're asking for their time and attention.

Because she wants someone she likes, not just anyone who messages. Why are you so upset by the fact that someone wants to wait for the person they think is right for them? I don't understand this mentality.

If you've been doing OLD for a while, and someone you found unappealing messaged you and said "well if you answered my message the first time, you wouldn't be where you are! Why would even bother... again?"

Because you have no desire to go out with the person to begin with, so why waste your time with them? Now, take that feeling and apply it to those women you're talking about.

The problem is that attractive women get literally 100s of messages in a small period of time, so there's absolutely no way that out of 100 messages, that every single one of them were awful messages or that she wouldn't be interested in even 5 of those guys. It's hard to feel bad for them when online dating favors them completely yet it's still not good enough for a lot of them. I guarantee if I got 100 messages from 100 different women that at least 15-20 of them I would be interested in.

October 8, 2016

I know this is sort of your go-to perspective on OLD, but I continue be to surprised that you've yet to see the irony of proudly declaring that you refuse to settle, while also deriding some women for refusing to settle for less than what they want from a guy.

Your standards and what you value are not superior or more important than some random woman's, or vice versa.

I'll bet there are plenty of women you won't "settle" for who are "genuinely good" people. But for some reason, you seem only irritated that women are passing up "genuinely good" people.

The thing is that these women get 100x more attention than I did when I was on those dating apps. They have way more options to choose from automatically from all the messages they get, yet it's still not good enough for a lot of them. As I said if I were getting even a quarter of the messages they get it would be a lot better & have a way higher chance of meeting someone. But anyways, I deleted all those apps anyway except for Tinder & don't plan on going back on them.

October 8, 2016

The problem is that attractive women get literally 100s of messages in a small period of time, so there's absolutely no way that out of 100 messages, that every single one of them were awful messages or that she wouldn't be interested in even 5 of those guys.

"Hundreds" might be an exaggeration. I live in the biggest city in the country and I've met a lot of accomplished/attractive women via OLD. They never seem to have any issue sorting through some perceived barrage of messages to converse with me. Once I went out with a girl who was a dentist. Very attractive, doing very well for herself, was in consideration to be on "The Bachelor" but didn't go through with it. She said she got 3-5 messages a day.

It's hard to feel bad for them when online dating favors them completely yet it's still not good enough for a lot of them.

Who's suggesting you feel bad? Why do you care so much what standards other people decide are right for themselves? Just let them live their lives as they see fit. It's of no harm to you.

I guarantee if I got 100 messages from 100 different women that at least 15-20 of them I would be interested in.

That's great, but you're not them. Even so, why does that matter?

October 8, 2016

"Hundreds" might be an exaggeration. I live in the biggest city in the country and I've met a lot of accomplished/attractive women via OLD. They never seem to have any issue sorting through some perceived barrage of messages to converse with me. Once I went out with a girl who was a dentist. Very attractive, doing very well for herself, was in consideration to be on "The Bachelor" but didn't go through with it. She said she got 3-5 messages a day.

Actually it's not, because I've spoken with men and women at a recent singles mixer about how they've tried online dating. A man told me one of his female friends got about 100 messages in one day (24 hrs) and he wasn't exaggerating.

Women would even give an account of this, too. Some deleted their accounts because they were seriously overwhelmed at the thought of corresponding...with ANYONE. Their level of anxiety was too much to handle that influx.

For some of the ladies, it was over before it started.

October 8, 2016

When I used OLD, I had a female friend who was also on there. Despite being obese, unemployed, and divorced with 3 kids, she still got more messages online than I did.

The thirst is real man, especially for regions that favor women.

To the other posters, even if an attractive woman receives 100's of messages, she will normally engage with 2-3 suitors at a time until one stands out as a real connection, and that already takes a lot of energy. The hundreds don't matter when you are focused on only 2-3. In fact, while it's initially flattering to get many messages, it's exhausting to wade through all of them. Plus a lot of these women have to deal with follow up messages from guys asking whey they didn't respond and rude sexual messages so I'm not surprised some are jaded. And the reason they come back maybe is because they dated someone for a while and it didn't work out so you see them again a few months later. Sometimes the answers are simple and not a conspiracy.

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